The Smiling Head

Crash!

Belle wakes up.

Sweezus turns the light on.

It's the poodle, says Arthur. It's broken.

Who the hell put it there? mutters Sweezus.

I did, says Belle. Terence didn't like it in the corner. And watch where you're treading!

Terence has been watching in horror.

My poodle! cries Terence. It's DEAD.

It's not dead, says Belle. It's in pieces. We'll pick them all up and see if we can stick them back together.

Yeah, says Sweezus. Anyone got any glue?

Gaius always has bull glue, says Arthur. Or fish glue. The Romans used it.

Yeah, I know, says Sweezus. And it stinks.

I don't want my poodle to stink, says Terence.

What's up? says Saint Roley. What will stink?

NOTHING! says Terence. I don't want this to have happened!

The head of the poodle lies on the carpet, still smiling upwards and sideways, although upwards and sideways are not the same as they were.

The head of the poodle also doesn't want this to have happened.

But it isn't an option.

Where is Gaius? asks Sweezus.

Room 27, says Belle. If you're going, remind him we have to leave really early to catch the metro to Charles de Gaulle airport.

I'll go, says Arthur.

He goes.

Sweezus picks up pieces of poodle, and shoves them into a long cardboard tube.

Only the smiling head is too large to fit.

Terence sits on the floor and cradles the smiling head of his poodle.

Arthur knocks on the door of room 27.

No answer. He knocks louder.

What is it? says Simone, opening the door. Oh it's you! Gaius and I were just having a quiet drink and discussing the concept of authenticity. Well, I was.

I've come for some fish glue, says Arthur. Or bull.

Come in then, says Simone. Gaius! Arthur is here for some glue!

Arthur! says Gaius. Am I needed elsewhere?

No.... says Arthur. Terence's poodle is broken. We just need your glue.

That ugly poodle! says Simone. From the Flea Market? Why do you bother to fix it?

I wouldn't says Arthur.

Nor would I, says Simone. It was not authentic.

Even if it was, says Arthur, it's not now.

That may be, says Gaius, but no doubt Terence's feelings are authentic. I shall come at once, if Simone will excuse me.

But I was so looking forward to learning more about Australian shorebirds, says Simone.

Unfortunately we must cut short our evening, says Gaius. Thank you for your kindness and conversation, and your pleasant red wine. Good night, Simone.

Good night, Gaius, says Simone.

She contemplates Arthur. Should she perhaps offer......?

Good night, says Arthur.

The door shuts on Simone.

Phew! says Gaius. Shades of Margaret! Thanks, Arthur.