A Piddling Enterprise

They approach the two tinnies.

Dawn is breaking. A crocodile tail stirs the water.

It's me, says the crocodile. I knew you'd be back.

We are indeed, says Gaius. Perhaps you'd consider assisting Terence back across the river.

No I wouldn't, says the crocodile.

In that case, says Gaius, Terence comes with me. Humboldt will take the second tinny.

See, says Terence. No one needs you. We can do everything.

Can you save the estuarine wetlands? asks the crocodile. I don't think so.

We're doing our bit, says Gaius. We've hatched a scheme for crowd-funding a translocation of the new bandy bandy.

A piddling enterprise, says the crocodile. We have multiple issues. Removal of vegetation, decline of the turtle population, invasive marine species, turbidity......

We do what we can, says Gaius. Have you any suggestions?

Yes, says the crocodile. I assume you'll be back here one day.

A strange assumption, says Gaius. On what basis?

I smell wongai plums, says the crocodile. 

That makes no sense at all, says Humboldt.

Anyone who has eaten wongai plums is destined to return to Cape York, says the crocodile. It's common knowledge.

I must write that down, says Gaius. I have an interest in common knowledge.

And since you're coming back says the crocodile, I have a proposal.

Let's hear it, says Gaius, searching for a pencil.

Don't laugh, says the crocodile, suddenly feeling embarrassed. It may be a foolish proposal.

Whisper it to me, says Terence. And I'll whisper it to Gaius.

I'll tow you over if, when you return, you bring me two pairs of green Crocs in different sizes, whispers the crocodile.

Granted, says Terence.

Very good, says Gaius. Whatever it was. Damn it, I can't find a pencil. Can we get going?

I'm getting a tow, says Terence. So you guys can go in the other tinny.

All right. You go first, we'll follow, says Gaius.

So this is what happens. The crocodile gives Terence a tow to the northern riverbank.

And then buggers off, neglecting to make delivery arrangements.