Under Scrutiny

Celia and Saint Roley sit at the top of the stairwell.

They are not catching spiders.

Saint Roley: I thought we should get to know one another better.

Celia: We already know one thing about us.

Saint Roley: Yes, loss and sadness. What happened to your sister?

Celia: I don't know.

Saint Roley: How dreadful.

Celia: What happened to your brother?

Saint Roley: I have it on good authority that he drowned.

Celia: Was he a sailor?

Saint Roley: No, that was part of the trouble.

Celia: No compass?

Saint Roley: A pointing finger. On cardboard. Such things are notoriously fickle at sea.

Celia: I can understand that. On the ocean, there might be a sudden change in the way it is pointing.

Saint Roley: If only he had known that. He believed it was god's finger.

Celia: O! Maybe it was. I'm so sorry.

Saint Roley: No. It was an indication of This Way Up.

Celia: Nevertheless, god could have been telling him something.

Saint Roley: He could. But it doesn't stand up to scrutiny.

Celia: Nor does what happened to my sister.

Saint Roley: I thought you didn't know.

Celia: I know this much. A nut dropped on the egg in which I was incubating, so I got out. But no nut dropped on my sister.

Saint Roley: My dear Celia, a nut is not required for hatching.

Celia: You mean she could have hatched and be alive somewhere?

Saint Roley: It's possible. Where are you from?

Celia: Weipa. And I'm not going back there.

Saint Roley: I was born in Saint Malo.

Celia: So you speak French!

Saint Roley: Un petit peu. I was imprinted on Terence. He had ruined me. In a physical sense only. My egg cracked and he was responsible.

Celia: Dear Terence.

Saint Roley: Yes, dear Terence.

Celia: Ah! You and I will work well together in Candide's Garden. I know it!

Saint Roley: We should research our characters. What do you say?

Celia: Yes. As I'm playing Brother Giroflée, you must be playing Paquette.

Saint Roley: I've never played a female.

Celia: I've never played a male. We'll have to advise one another.

Saint Roley: I'm sure it won't be that hard. What I look forward to is being in a play that deals with philosophical issues.

Celia: O yes, me too.

They go back inside where the issue being dealt with is how to make Gaius look like an old woman with only one buttock.