Digital Cherries

Before you agree to anything, says Gaius, you need to know that your input will be attributed to two minor philosophers.

I was going to tell him, says Sweezus.

Apologies, says Gaius.

He takes a handful of popcorn.

Carol brings in the trifle.

Which two? asks Kierkegaard. And why?

Yeah well, I promised the boss a good story, says Sweezus. But I didn't say who. 

That is encouraging, says Kierkegaard. How do I fit into the picture? 

That's what we need to work out, says Sweezus.

Have some trifle first, says Carol. It's got real cherries in it, and cream and custard.

Does it have crumbled stale cake in the jelly? asks Kierkegaard.

Yes, says Carol. I always make it that way. And there are silver balls on the top, and glacé cherries.

Real cherries and glacé cherries? says Kierkegaard.

Beep! goes the cushion.

Terence runs across to the cushion. 

Charigotchi has ordered some cherries.

Hah! says Terence. You're not getting any!

Beep beep. A bowl of digital cherries appears. Charigotchi consumes the cherries. 

Nom-nom! says Charigotchi. He gets on his digital bike and starts pedalling.

Terence replaces the cushion.

Sweezus's phone rings. It's Victor.

Merry Christmas, says Victor. Have you got that receipt yet?

Um, says Sweezus. I'll ask Arthur. Arthur, have we got that receipt?

Somewhere, says Arthur. 

Yeah, says Sweezus.

All right if I drop in and pick it up? asks Victor.

No. We're at Carol's, says Sweezus.

Louisa's mother? says Victor. I'll be passing there shortly. See you soon.

Shit, says Sweezus. Where were we?

Which two minor philosophers would you like me to be? asks Kierkegaard.

It seems a reasonable question. It's not just the Wild Gin that makes him ask it.

How about Heraclitus and Thales? suggests Gaius.

An unexpected suggestion. But who has a better one?

Yeah, them, says Sweezus.