Flames And Devils

Scene Three, says Captain Baudin. The auto-da-fé.

Beautiful music is played. 

Good citizens, says Captain Baudin. The University has decided the only way to prevent further Earthquakes is to burn a few people alive, and hang or flog several others.

Sweezus and David walk on, wearing painted sacrificial cassocks and paper mitres.

The audience admires the inverted flames and clawless devils, the upright flames and devils with talons.

The painted symbols represent the type of punishment they will receive, says Captain Baudin.

Where's the fire? calls someone.

There will be no fire, says Captain Baudin. Doctor Pangloss will be hanged, and Candide will be flogged in time with the beautiful music. 

So why the flames on the costumes? asks the irritating person.

I know not, says Captain Baudin. It is unexplained in the story.

The irritating person is about to continue interrupting when a long handled hook emerges from behind  the flimsy curtain, and curls round his neck.

The audience laughs, except for the irritating person, who extricates himself, and moves one place sideways.

This brings him too close to the next person, who shifts one place sideways.

And so on, until there is nowhere for the end person to go.

All right, says Vello, coming out from behind the flimsy curtain, waving his hook. Everyone back where they came from!

Order is restored, and the hanging and flogging take place.

David is hanged off stage with frightful choking and gurgling noises, followed by a loud SNAP!

Sweezus is flogged behind the desk by the black-cloaked Gaius, in time with the beautiful music.

Lah lah lah lah lah lah aaaaaah! Miserere! 

The flogging stops.

The Earthquake runs out from behind the curtain.

Rumble-bumble! LOSERS! Hah! Hah!