On The Way Down

Katherine comes back with three spoons.

Dig in, says Katherine.

They do.

 Not bad, says Wittgenstein.

Quite tasty, says Gaius. You'd hardly know it was emu.

Or pumpkin, says Wittgenstein.

Nevertheless, says Katherine, it's the last time I cook emu.

Can I try it? asks Terence.

No, says Gaius.

What can I do? asks Terence.

Look at these pictures of gobies, says Gaius.

Terence looks. The gobies are swimming amongst colourful corals. 

Are we going to count them? asks Terence.

If we are lucky enough to see any, says Gaius. We'll need to hire snorkels.

Me too? asks Terence.

He'd love to swim with a snorkel.

Probably not, says Gaius. You could wait in the boat and...umm....

Umm, says Terence. I'm not umming.

It might be best if he stays with me, says Katherine. Imagine if he fell overboard.

I could count gobies on the way down, says Terence.

And then what? asks Wittgenstein, unkindly. 

What a spoilsport.

Gaius's phone rings.

It's Arthur.

Hey, says Arthur. Are you missing three frogs?

As a matter of fact yes, says Gaius.

We just opened the boot of the Mazda, says Arthur. 

Are they in good spirits? asks Gaius. 

Yes, says Arthur. Very good spirits. They think they're coming with us to the Tour.

Have you explained to them it's not possible, asks Gaius.

No, says Arthur. We thought we'd let them.

Great Zeus! Why? asks Gaius.

Mascots, says Arthur. 

They won't get through customs, says Gaius. And if by some chance they do get to Europe, there's a good chance they'll die there.

They're tough, says Arthur. Anyway, thought we'd let you know they're with us, so you can stop looking.

Hum, says Gaius. Thank you Arthur. Terence will be relieved.

But strangely enough, Terence isn't.