Valuable Only To Science

Arthur walks in.

Everyone is lifting things up.

Arthur! says Gaius, dropping a cushion. Did you come up the stairs?

Yes, says Arthur. It's the only way to get up here.

Yes, I know, says Gaius. Forgive me, I'm flustered.

We've lost the knowlesi! cries Terence.

Perhaps Arthur saw it on the stairs, says Katherine. Have you seen a small slimy brown frog?

Yes, says Gaius. Have you?

Not on the stairs, says Arthur.

Anywhere else, bro? asks Sweezus.

Was it valuable? asks Arthur.

You've stepped on it, says Wittgenstein. Or why are you asking?

I didn't step on it, says Arthur. 

It's not valuable, says Sweezus, Well, yeah, it kind of is. But only to science.

It's his fault, says Terence, pointing at Sweezus.

It really isn't, says Katherine. Sweezus was remembering his school biology class.

Yeah, I was, says Sweezus. The girls wouldn't dissect the frog so I had to.

It's outrageous! says Quiet-Tartus.

I know, says Sweezus. I bet girls aren't like that now.

Who cares who DOES it! shouts Quiet-Tartus.

We're losing the plot here, says Wittgenstein. 

Indeed, says Gaius. What are we going to say to Letitia?

We lost your knowlesi, says Terence. But we'll get you another one.

Great, says Sweezus. Are they common?

Most uncommon, says Gaius.

Shit, says Sweezus. 

We might yet find it, says Wittgenstein. I suspect Arthur has seen it.

Okay, I have, says Arthur. But it asked me not to tell you.

Where is it? asks Terence.

In the camper, says Arthur. 

Wonderful, says Gaius. Where are the keys?

I didn't lock it, says Arthur.

Did you shut the door? asks Sweezus. 

Arthur doesn't remember.

Or he does. 

He can't always be trusted.