Trappist Traps

Pierre-Louis Malpertuis is surprised to see Arthur in Jeanne Jugan's kitchen, regarding a cheese.

Lucky I had a flat tyre, says Pierre-Louis Maupertuis. I'd have missed you.

So you're the stalker! says Jeanne.

Not at all! says Pierre-Louis. Arthur and I planned to ride along the coast road together.

Didn't sound like it, says Jeanne. Why are you so far behind him?

My bicycle has seen better days, says Pierre-Louis. Where's that repair kit?

Jeanne Jugan heads out to her shed.

What kind of cheese is that? asks Pierre-Louis.

I don't know, says Arthur. She just took it down.

With any luck it's a Timanoix, says Pierre-Louis. Made by Trappist monks at Bréhan. I'll cut it open.

He takes the knife which Jeanne Jugan used to cut the cheese down.

He stabs it into the Timanoix ( if it is one), and cuts two generous slices.

An aroma both earthy and leathery, with notes of walnut, fills the room.

Yes! says Pierre-Louis. It is one! Here, try it.

Arthur would have preferred a bag of potato crisps, or some chocolate. Or even an apple. He bites into the cheese.

Jeanne returns to the kitchen.

I see you've helped yourselves, says Jeanne. What do you think of it, Arthur?

Arthur is not big on cheese.

Very cheesy, says Arthur.

I thought you were a poet? says Pierre-Louis. Can't you do better?

Spicy, says Arthur. Herbaceous. Bitter.

Well done, says Jeanne Jugan.  That's just what it tastes like.

It'd go well with a beer, says Arthur.

Trappist beer, says Pierre-Louis. 

I don't have any, says Jeanne Jugan.

What a pity, says Pierre-Louis. I do have some, back at home in Saint Malo.

Fat lot of use that is, says Jeanne Jugan. Wait a minute, I might have a few old ones, in the back of the shed.

She leaves the repair kit on the table and goes out again.

She'll find some, don't you worry, says Pierre-Louis. Best beer ever made. And it improves with age.

Jeanne Jugan returns with three bottles, covered in spider webs and dust.

Trappist beer. Warm and dusty.

Arthur is not keen to try it.