Short Sharp Purge

Roo-kai is perched on a tree branch.

He sees Terence feeding the pony.

Good. He does it the right way.

The pony does not bite his fingers.

He sees Terence talking to the pony.

And climbing the fence.

And the pony backing away.

And Terence teetering. 

Time for an intervention.

He flies down from the tree, to the fence.

Wah! says Terence. 

Steady, says Roo-kai. Climb down backwards, slowly.

Stupid pony, says Terence.

Perhaps it wasn't ready, says Roo-kai. 

It was, says Terence. It said it respected my offer.

That doesn't sound like what a pony would say, says Roo-kai.

You ask it, says Terence.

Roo-kai flutters over to the pony, a few metres away.

Has there been a misunderstanding? asks Roo-kai.

A series of them, says the pony. 

Perhaps I can clear them up, says Roo-kai.

Who are you? asks the pony.

His parrot, says Roo-kai.

Parrot? says the pony. I know an oystercatcher when I see one.

I see you are highly intelligent, says Roo-kai. What did Terence offer?

Sugar, says the pony. But then he said it wasn't real sugar. But as he had previously identified me as a potato, I thought nothing of it.

So what was the problem? asks Roo-kai.

A lingering aftertaste, says the pony. Unlike sugar. And worse, which you don't need to know.

Aspartame, says Roo-kai. It can give you the runs. Don't worry, a short sharp purge will not hurt you.

Madame Ponty won't like it, says the pony.

Why does she need to know? asks Rookai.

She picks up my manure every evening, says the pony. She sells it.

Then it's her problem, says Roo-kai. Not yours. However, I understand why you don't want Terence to ride you.

Yes but it wasn't why I retracted my offer, says the pony.

You retracted your offer? says Roo-kai. You didn't say you respected his offer?

He didn't offer, says the pony. I offered, but then....

I wonder if Terence needs his ears cleaned, says Roo-kai. 

Ha ha, laughes the pony. Ears cleaned! Isn't he made of cement? 

Is that the problem? says Roo-kai. Did it occur to you that if he can climb a fence, he can ride a pony?

No, says the pony. 

I agree it doesn't follow, says Roo-kai. But potentially?

Sorry, says the pony. I promise to think about it. 

But right now I must leave you, and run.