Which Part Wouldn't Have Happened?

The waiter returns with a large empty water jug.

He upturns it above Cwaca's head.

What are you doing? quacks Cwaca.

Removing you, says the waiter. You admitted you're nobody's duck.

He's my PARROT! says Terence.

No one said so, says the waiter. I asked the chef, who told me to remove it, and give you a discount by way of apology.

Very nice! says David. A discount. How much would that be?

Fifty percent, says the waiter. Off the tea, not the pastries.

We would prefer the discount to apply to the pastries, and not the tea, says Vello.

But I didn't have any pastries, says Gaius.

True, he didn't, says Pierre-Louis.

The waiter brings the upturned water jug down over Cwaca.

Stop! cries Terence. Don't trap my parrot!

The waiter slides a Harrod's Tea Rooms menu under Cwaca, and lifts up the jug.

The menu is not wide enough to cover the opening.

Cwaca's webbed feet dangle either side of the menu.

This is ridiculous, says Vello. Are we all  prepared to admit he's our parrot and give up the discount?

Yes, says David. 

Gaius and Pierre-Louis nod their agreement.

Let him out, says Vello.

The waiter removes the menu and Cwaca steps onto the table.

This wouldn't have happened if I still had my wheels, grumbles Cwaca.

Which part wouldn't have happened? asks Terence.

The part where my feet dangled over the menu, says Cwaca. I hope no one took a photo.

Of course, no one took a photo.

Although, it would have been funny.

The waiter goes back to the kitchen, and comes back with the bill.

There is no discount.

That's nearly four times what I paid for Terence's shoes, says Gaius. 

Then you got a bargain, says Vello.