How They Loved You

Been away? asks Camus. Your pot plants have died.

So they have, says Gaius. 

He tips Camus's water into each of the pots.

That won't help. says Camus.

You know plants? asks Gaius.

I know dead ones, says Camus. 

He refills his glass from the tap.

Very good, says Gaius. Help yourself. I like that. Are you here to catch up?

No, I... begins Camus.

Because, continues Gaius, I need to check on my broad beans.

In the garden? says Camus.

Yes, in the garden, says Gaius. 

They go out the back.

The broad bean plants are drooping.

Gaius turns on his hose.

Camus stands beside him.

Should he bring up the penguin pie now?

Sweezus comes out.

Have you asked him? asks Sweezus.

Asked me what? asks Gaius, turning around with the hose.

Watch out! says Camus, stepping back.

About signing the statement, says Sweezus. 

Is it about that penguin pie? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Camus. The one you didn't remember.

Where was this? asks Gaius, fiddling with the spray nozzle. 

Victor Harbour, says Sweezus. I was there too.

I wouldn't have eaten a penguin pie, says Gaius. For one thing, they don't sell them in Victor Harbour. Imagine!

That is why it has haunted me ever since, says Camus. To think that you ate one, with such insouciance.

Insouciance, says Gaius. There's a clue. Perhaps I was joking. Do you remember it, Sweezus?

Yeah...kind of, says Sweezus.

Was I joking? aks Gaius.

Hard to say, says Sweezus. It was ages ago. And I was pretending to be a penguin.

Yes, my twins still talk about it, says Camus. How they loved you.

Anyway, Gaius, says Sweezus, the boss wants something in writing, to say you won't sue.

I'll write my own version, says Gaius. Vello can print it in Velosophy as a companion piece. How will that do?

He twists the spray nozzle. A fine mist drifts over the broad beans and onto the grass.

Now that he looks at it, he can see it needs mowing.