Today it's the individual time trials.
Sweezus is waiting to go.
Terence is waiting with him.
Wish me luck, little buddy, says Sweezus.
Okay, says Terence.
You have to actually say it, says Sweezus.
Good luck, says Terence.
But it is Terence who needs good luck right now
A gendarme is approaching, having located the young person who poured Ribena into the swan fountain yesterday.
The gendarme is about to nab Terence.
When - putain! A parrot lands on his shoulder.
The gendarme is distracted.
Allez! Mechant peroquet!
It's only a parrot, says Sweezus. Keep still for a second.
I hate birds, says the gendarme.
Me too, normally, says Sweezus. They give me the creeps.
Oh DO they? says Prong.
Merde! The peroquet parle! says the gendarme.
What? says Terence.
Parle! says the gendarme. Speak.
I was, says Terence. But I wasn't asking you anyway.
He was asking me, says Sweezus. I was indicating that he should try and get away.
Me? says Terence. Why should I?
Because, says the gendarme, you are a suspect.
Next rider is Sweezus, of Team Condor! announces the announcer.
Shit! Gotta go! says Sweezus.
Bonne chance, monsieur, says the gendarme.
Sweezus speeds off to the chute.
Belle arrives to watch Sweezus go down it.
Guess what? I'm a suspect, says Terence.
Oui, says the gendarme. This boy is a suspect. Are you his maman?
Non, says Belle. He is my assistant.
He was seen polluting a fountain, on the rest day, says the gendarme.
It must have been an accident, says Belle. He probably tripped and spilt his Ribena.
The swan itself claims otherwise, says the gendarme.
That swan's a bad sport, says Prong.
Argh! says the gendarme, who had forgotten Prong was still on his shoulder.
Come down, Prong, says Belle.
I shall need a statement, says the gendarme.
So Prong flies down to Terence's shoulder.
Belle gives the gendarme a statement.
It is very long statement, including the recipe for farcement, and galette comtoise.
So long that she misses seeing Arthur, Gaius, Vello and David go down the chute.
And not only them.
She is still giving it, when Remco Evenepoel sets off on his way to a win.
And when Tadej Pogacar sets off, and comes second.
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