Harmonious Poem

I liked your Green Poem, Pliny, I said. Would you like to see mine? It's called Harmonious Poem. Without waiting for him to reply, I began:

Harmonious Poem

The day after the election
the sun came out
people went to the beach forgetting
what they had brought about

They walked their dogs
they ate icecreams
built sandcastles and didn't see
the tide coming in.

A triangle of spangles
sparkled on the sea
representing the harmonious country
this might be.

Not bad, said Pliny, although your rhyming leaves something to be desired.

Well, I wrote it in a hurry, I said. As I suspect you wrote yours.

What makes you think that? asked Pliny.

You paid no attention to metre, I said. Even an amateur can tell.

It was straight from the heart, said Pliny, sentimentally. I see you liked my baby whale.

You stole it from Bob Brown, I said.

But he didn't transform it into art, said Pliny.

True, he didn't. What did you think of my own use of symbolism?

The triangle of spangles? said Pliny. It didn't work for me.

The Twitter Purist

The Twitter Purist. That's me. One of the people I follow, potty4, posted a link to a site that analyses your Twitter feed and tell you what sort of Twitterer you are.

This is just the sort of thing that regularly saves potty4's bacon. He follows me. He must have obtained me as part of a job lot. He tweets about rural politics and sugar and the price of fruit, and he's a local. In his photo he looks like Rolf Harris. And like Rolf Harris, he is serially boring.

However, twice now I have just been about to unfollow him, when he posts something cool like the abovementioned. I fed in my username. And almost at once the results came back. You are a Twitter Purist.

I am, it tells me, the considerate type, who believes in playing by the rules. I like using Twitter as it was intended. I am polite and always answer the question What are you doing? My ideal city is Geneva and I should drive a white car. It even told me the type of car. A Nissan Micra. Is that a real car? Hmm.

I didn't think I was a Twitter Purist. I have never even sent anyone a direct message. Nor has anyone ever sent me one, except for Bob Brown, the leader of the Greens. He said, 'Thank you for following me.'

Yesterday I found I had a new follower. It was cnnpoliticsnews. They must have obtained me as part of a job lot. I decided not to follow them back. Is that not absurd and delightful? Cnnpoliticsnews is following me, but I am not following them.

I wonder what they thought of my last Tweet which was, if I recall, I don't think my great Granny would have recognised a zucchini.

Tomorrow I will probably find I'm being followed by the Zucchini Growers Association of North Carolina.