Hammer And Sweet Influence

Half an hour later, Margaret and Ying are still waiting for the hammer.

Margaret is cross.

I'm just going to wait here until Arthur brings it, says Margaret, picking at a schistoic quartzite.

Watch your fingernails, says Ying.

Oh yes, dammit! says Margaret.

He may not come back, says Ying.

Of course he will, says Margaret. He's reliable.

Yes, says Ying, doubtfully.

In any case says Margaret. Katherine and Gaius.......

She kicks at a phyllite, and dislodges a thin piece of slate.

........

Katherine, Gaius and Arthur are in Katherine's car eating jelly beans.

First the blue ones and green ones.

They all taste the same, don't you find, says Katherine.

Katherine, says Gaius. That is quite inconceivable.

What do you think, Arthur? asks Katherine.

Arthur is sucking a blue one.

When you suck a blue one, says Arthur, the sea looks green.

Gaius is sucking a green one.

Great Jumping Jupiter! It doesn't look green at all to him. It looks..... bluish.

What are you sucking, Katherine? asks Arthur.

Katherine can't remember. She spits the jelly bits into her hand.

She wouldn't normally, but she is on holiday.

The jelly bits are nondescript grey.

Arthur and Gaius look at one another.

Katherine gazes out to sea.

It sparkles emerald green, shimmers sapphire blue, riddled with indigo and brown striplets, while white spume crashes upwards and falls in yellow sun-splashed fountains of fine rainbow spray. In other words, fairly colourful.

My goodness, says Katherine. It's a nondescript grey! You're right Arthur. You've discovered a new scientific hypothesis.

Nonsense Katherine, says Gaius. You don't discover an hypothesis.

Ah ah! laughs Katherine. It isn't clear whether she is laughing about her jelly bean colour deception or about Gaius saying 'an' hypothesis. (Although laughing ah ah is a clue)

Next they start on the red ones.

Charmed Life

Meanwhile, Katherine and Margaret have driven off in search of the Arthur Lineament.

Gaius, Ying and Arthur are in the back, with Ying in the middle.

Arthur's shorts are still wet from this morning. She can feel a damp patch on her leg.

Now then, Arthur, says Margaret. You've been to the Lineament. You must direct us.

I know the way! says Ying. It's part of the GeoTrail.

Oh good girl! says Margaret. Ha ha. We don't need you Arthur.

In that case, says Gaius, Arthur can help me to sort out these notes.

He leans across Ying and hands Arthur a large sheaf of papers.

Some of the papers drop into Ying's lap.

Ying picks up the top one.

It's her mark sheet. Two extra credits. Is that all? She'll see about that.

Turn left, says Ying. Down this track here.

Katherine turns left.

Oh no! says Katherine. My car won't....

We'll all get out then, says Margaret. Come on.

They get out and follow Ying to a place of dark jagged rocks, folding and thrusting.

See this, says Ying. This is part of a Cambrian-age high strain metamorphic belt, formed as a result of Middle Cambrian arc-continent collisions.

Is it indeed? says Margaret. Oh yes I see. It looks to be composed of allochthonous slices. And look here. Do I see amphibolites and mafic schists? How very fascinating.

Yes, says Ying. They say some of these granitoid rocks may correlate with the Willouran flood basalts in South Australia.

Marvellous! says Margaret. I must take one home. Arthur! Bring me my hammer.

Oh sure. Like Arthur is going to break off a huge chunk of granite. What does she think this is, the Thai-Burma death railway?

Arthur turns and walks back to the car.

He gets in and stares out of the window, at the crashing green ocean.

Gaius's face appears at the window.

Have you found Margaret's hammer? asks Gaius.

No, says Arthur. And I'm asking myself why I'm here.

That's just what I'm asking myself, says Gaius.

He gets in and joins Arthur staring out of the window, at the thundering blue ocean.

Katherine appears. She gets into the driver's seat.

Sorry, says Katherine. This hasn't worked out very well. Would either of you like a sweetie?

She opens the glove box.

An assortment of jelly beans tumble out.

The Joy Of Not Being Spanish

The Wicked camper travels east down the Bass Highway, in the direction of Penguin.

Rosamunda is driving. Unni is beside her. In the back are Marx, Terence and Stew.

Grandpa, says Terence.

What is it? says Marx, aroused from a reverie of sweet honey... and soft artisan chocolate.

What if you like something you're not meant to? asks Terence.

Marx shifts uncomfortably.

Stew grins.

Such as, says Marx stiffly.

Birds, says Terence. I sometimes don't like them, but sometimes I do.

The proper way to resolve a contradiction, says Marx, is through dialectic.

I don't have a phone, says Terence.

Dialectic is something you DO, says Marx. Through dialectic, contradictions are resolved at a higher level of truth.

I get it, says Stew. It's like arguing.

No, says Marx. Not like arguing.

Until someone wins, says Stew.

Until the truth is reached, says Marx.

I get it, says Terence.

But how do you know when you've reached it? asks Stew.

Everyone stops talking, says Terence.

.........

Sweezus and Surfing-With-Whales are cycling some distance behind the Wicked camper.

I dunno about going to Penguin, says Sweezus.

How come? says Surfing-With-Whales.

Dunno, says Sweezus. Like.... I just gave in too easily.

Gave in? says Surfing-With-Whales. It's on the WAY, man.

I'm the one who's older, says Sweezus, pursuing his demon.

Older than who? Oh. At last Surfing-With-Whales gets it.

Terence, says Surfing-With-Whales, is a cement head.

Yeah but that makes it worse, says Sweezus. I have to live with starting out as this cement head, that likes penguins.

And parrots, says Surfing-With-Whales. But not owls, he adds, helpfully.

Yeah, that's cool, says Sweezus. Not owls.

And anyway, says Surfing-With-Whales. Isn't he fucken Spanish?

Spanish! Yes Terence is Spanish! He's from Barcelona. The Sagrada Famiglia. And Sweezus himself is not Spanish.

The highest level of truth has been reached, through dialectic.

Sweezus feels liberated. He speeds up.

Surfing-With-Whales speeds up to match him.

They turn their heads to look at the coastline. Rugged cliffs, emerald waters, thrusting rocks, the odd  seabird gliding down on a thermal......

They continue to ride towards Penguin.

Bad Qualities Of Birdness

Well, I'm off, says Zak. See yuz later.

See ya, says Stew.

Zak drives off in the Hilux, to regions unknown.

I suppose we should head back to Burnie, says Rosamunda.

Yeah, says Stew. We could take the samples back to the uni, and start getting them analysed.

Exactly, says Rosamunda. Gaius would like that.

I know someone who wouldn't, says Marx.

Who? says Unni.

Ying, says Marx. She did most of the digging. She should get the credit.

Man! That sounds like wrong thinking! says Sweezus.

You don't know her as I do, says Marx. She's a clever young person. She believes the future lies in artisan honey and chocolate........

Capitalism! says Sweezus.

Production controlled by the people, says Marx. You have not been listening.

Sweezus has been listening. So has everyone else.

Marx is sweet on Ying.

Grandpa? says Terence.

What? says Marx, sharply.

Can we go back to Penguin? says Terence.

It's not up to me, says Marx. It should be a communal decision.

We go through Penguin on the way back to Burnie, says Rosamunda.

Geez....... says Surfing-With-Whales.

It's the first thing he's said since the pie.

But wait, he's about to add something......

There's four bikes, says Surfing-With-Whales.

So? says Rosamunda. We leave two behind, one for Ying, one for Arthur. And we put two on the roof rack. Or, you and Sweezie can ride them. Then we can meet up in Penguin.

Yay! We ARE going to Penguin! cries Terence.

I don't call that a communal decision, says Marx. What about voting?

Sweezus regards his young prototype, Terence.

How come Penguin? asks Sweezus.

I LOVE Penguin! says Terence. And I love Baby Bin Penguin. He says Don't Go Far Off.

A penguin's a bird though, says Sweezus.

NO IT ISN'T ! says Terence.

It is an actual bin, says Unni.

Sweezus weighs up the bad qualities of bird-ness against the good ones of bin-ness.

Terence waits.

He hums Don't Go Far Off.  "Hum Hum Hum Hum"

Not trying to influence Sweezus or anything.

It's a poem. It doesn't have a tune.

All right, Penguin, says Sweezus, eventually.

Geological Collision And Breakup

What a lot of people, says Margaret, looking round at the party.

She had not expected so many.

But where is Gaius?

He'll be here somewhere, says Katherine.

He's behind the counter, says Terence.

He is not behind the counter, but just to one side of the counter. He appears to be choosing a drink.

There you are, Gaius, says Margaret. Now, don't say anything. What's done is done.

Gaius turns. He doesn't say anything. But what has been done?

However, says Margaret, now our paths have crossed, we ought to go on together.

I'm on my way back to Burnie, says Gaius. My samples.....

Let me see them, says Margaret.

The samples of Dismal Swamp mud are arrayed on the counter, awaiting the ice.

Margaret twists off the lid of the nearest.

Pooh! says Margaret. Smells like VOMIT! You haven't been keeping them cold.

We're buying ice, says Gaius. It's all under control.

It's too late, says Margaret. You might as well throw them away.

This is our project! says Ying. We can't throw them away.

Yeah no way! says Stew. We need the credits.

Suit yourselves, says Margaret tartly.

She lapses into a momentary depression.

Why does everything always go wrong?

Never mind, Margaret, says Katherine, there is still all the interesting geology. What is it? The Liniment?

Arthur's Lineament, says Sweezus. We saw it, Arthur and me.

What? says Gaius. When was this? This morning?

Yeah, says Sweezus. It was basically just these rocks. Thrusting.

Isoclinal, says Arthur.

Arthur! says Margaret. You surprise me!

What about me? says Sweezus.

Yes what about HIM? says Terence. He said thrusting.

Some words are more powerful than others to a geologist, observes Katherine.

They are, says Margaret, trying not to think about thrusting.

So who's coming? says Katherine. A nice little side trip. Gaius, and your students, and Arthur. No wait, there's not enough room.

Then I won't come, says Gaius.

Nonsense, says Katherine. We can do without one of the students. Who'll be the lucky one?

.....

Five minutes later, Katherine's car leaves Marrawah, for Arthur River.

Katherine and Margaret are in the front

Gaius, Arthur and Ying in the back seat.

Ying is the lucky one.

Failure And The Sad Result

A map? Arthur doesn't have one.

Rosamunda googles one up.

Drat, says Gaius. No way out but the highway.

What's the matter? asks Unni. Is it the note?

Yes, says Gaius. Katherine is here in Tasmania.

Of course she is, says Rosamunda. How d'you think she got her car back?

And that's not the worst of it, says Gaius. She's with MARGARET.

She is, says Rosamunda. I suppose we ought to have told you. They want to meet up.

I shall have to come up with a plan to avoid them, says Gaius. Arthur, any suggestions?

Huh? says Arthur, who has been talking Tour tactics with Sweezus.

About Katherine and Margaret, says Gaius. They're motoring this way.

So? says Arthur.

Read this, says Gaius, pushing Arthur the note.

Dear Gaius (reads Arthur), I shall overlook the fact that you made off with my car without asking. It has all turned out for the best. I am here in Tasmania with Margaret, who is keen to catch up. We shall motor to Burnie, and then on to Penguin, Smithton and Marrawah, looking out for your Wicked camper. See you shortly, regards Katherine.

There's no other road out of Marrawah, says Gaius. They're bound to spot me.

They'll spot the camper, says Arthur. But you might not be in it.

They'd spot me on a bicycle, says Gaius.

Country people ..... begins Arthur, looking at Zak, who after all, has a Hilux.

Are idiots, says Marx, unhelpfully.

Zak is not even listening. He's on the phone to a mate.

But imagine. If he had been listening:

He could have given Gaius a lift back to Burnie. enhancing the reputation of people who live in the country.

Gaius could have avoided a meeting with Margaret.

Arthur would have earned kudos for the escape plan.

And Marx's cruel comment would have proved to be nothing more than the sad result of a classical education.

Instead, a vehicle rolls up outside the general store.

Katherine and Margaret get out.

They enter.

Well I never, says Katherine.  Inside every princess is a sphincter. What genius came up with that one?

It's meant to say blowhole, says Terence.

Science Or Menace?

In the Marrawah general store:

Good thinking, Arthur, says Gaius. Ice is just the ticket.

Rosamunda shoots him a look.

But it wasn't..... says Arthur.

Charmed life, mouths Rosamunda. Just suck it up.

Ying comes over.

Since her conversation with Marx she has become bolder.

Your bike is dirty, says Ying.

I know, says Arthur.

Shall I clean it for you? says Ying.

No, says Arthur. Why would you want to?

Because I like you, says Ying.

Arthur stops eating his scallop pie.

Marx is listening. So is Sweezus.

If you like him, says Sweezus, don't try and change him. His likes his stuff dirty.

Wrong thinking! says Marx. There is always room for improvement. Look at Ying, who has recently displayed a new found courage and eaten of scum.

Unni and Rosamunda can't believe it. She's eaten of scum?

Awesome! says Sweezus. How come?

It was at my suggestion, says Marx. The smear of an unknown substance on the crossbar. She swallowed it. And good for her, too!

You, says Rosamunda, are a menace. It was you that made Terence eat mud.

YES! says Terence. But he's my grandpa. And it was science.

It wasn't science, says Unni. He's just likes to egg people on. Remember what he said about his sisters, eating mud pies......

Marx performs a mindful self criticism. It's true. He is a menace.

He shoves the rest of his own scallop pie into his overall pocket.

He will finish it later. It will be less appetising.

Arthur is looking at Ying. Ying is looking at Arthur.

We're heading back soon, says Arthur.

I know, says Ying. You've still got our car keys. Mine and Stew's.

I haven't, says Arthur. (No point hiding it now.)

What? says Ying. So where are they?

Not sure, says Arthur. When you and Stew get back to Burnie, there are these two students, they've got the car keys. And the cars. And we've got their bicycles.

The penny drops. Ying has eaten of scum from the crossbar of some random person, who now has her car.

Still, who can stay cross with Arthur?

Gaius meanwhile, having finished his pie, is looking vaguely at the wall behind the counter, on which hangs a calendar.

Great Jupiter! It's January already!

This calls for a tightening of plans.

Arthur, says Gaius. Do you realise it's January?

I do now, says Arthur.

Shit, is it? says Sweezus. We have to get back for the Tour. I'm supposed to be getting a team up.

Am I in it? says Arthur.

Am I? says Surfing-With-Whales.

Yes, says Sweezus. You guys are in it. I just need one more and a backup.

I too am getting a team up, says Gaius. I was hoping.....

Oh that reminds me, says Unni. Gaius. When we took Katherine's car back, she left you a message.

Really, says Gaius, what is it?

It's a note, says Unni.

She reaches into her pocket and hands him a note.

Gaius reads it.

Great thundering Jupiter! says Gaius. Arthur, bring me a map!