Terence is jumping around in the ship's cabin, testing his toes.
Another two hours till they get here, says Gaius.
We could get in some practice, says Arthur.
Practice? says Gaius. Oh yes, practice. I wonder who else is in Team Philosophe this year?
Why don't you call Vello and find out, says Arthur.
Good idea, says Gaius.
He calls Vello, who doesn't answer.
He tries David instead.
Hello? says David. Gaius? When are you back? We need to talk tactics.
ASAP, says Gaius. We're waiting for Katherine and Margaret to arrive in Kettering.
Oh, how is mother? asks David.
I don't know, says Gaius. She went off on her cheese tour. Margaret hived off to find rock samples. Arthur and I spotted several endangered birds. Now we're reconvening.
Well, don't linger, says David. This is hush-hush, but we'll have a new team member. You know what that means.
I'm out? says Gaius.
Of course not, says David.
Is he a philosopher? asks Gaius. Do I know him?
Everyone knows him, says David. At least in Denmark.
Kierkegaard? says Gaius.
Can't confirm or deny, says David. Just get back here, for team bonding. Goodbye.
Are you out? asks Arthur.
No, says Gaius. We've got a new team member. Danish.
Kierkegaard? says Arthur.
You know? asks Gaius.
You said it, says Arthur.
It's not confirmed yet, says Gaius.
I'll call Sweezus, says Arthur. He'll know.
Let me talk to him! says Terence.
Okay, says Arthur. But me first.
He calls Sweezus.
Bro! says Sweezus. What's up? When do we see you?
Tomorrow, says Arthur. Probably. What's new with Team Condor?
Got a new rider, says Sweezus,. Danish. In place of Pablo.
I heard Team Philosophe had a new Danish rider, says Arthur.
Yeah, Vello's signing up some old philosopher dude this morning, says Sweezus.
Me now! cries Terence, grabbing the phone.
Hi, little dude, says Sweezus. What's been happening?
Two of my toes broke off, says Terence. Arthur was going to nail them back on with NAILS! But now I've got duck tape.
Cool, says Sweezus. But it's duct tape, not duck tape. And you were heaps lucky, escaping the nails.
Yes but.... says Terence.
Crackle. Red light! Blackness.
Arthur's phone has run out of battery.
Leaving questions unanswered.
Tuesday, January 7, 2020
Monday, January 6, 2020
The Space On Her Lap
Hammer and nails! says Terence. Are you trying to kill me?
No, says Arthur. I've had an idea.
What is it? asks Terence.
Make two nail holes at the end of your foot, says Arthur. Then make a hole in each toe. Insert the nails into the toe holes, and hey presto.
You don't know nails, says Terence. There's a fat end and a sharp end.
He's right, says Gaius. How would you get around that?
Make the holes in foot bigger, says Arthur.
Then my toes will be loose! says Terence. Are you stupid?
Better if they are, says Arthur. I thought this was a trial.
Perhaps we should try taping the toes on, says Gaius. Less invasive. Did you see any tape in the hatches?
I'll look, says Arthur.
He goes.
Woo! says Terence. You saved me. You're better than the Virgin.
Am I? says Gaius. How so?
She just sits there, says Terence.
And doesn't intervene? says Gaius.
There's me, running, says Terence. Wah! Wah! There's Saint Joseph coming after me with a hammer. There's her, watching the space on her lap.
Space? says Gaius.
Where I should be, says Terence.
Dear me, says Gaius. And how does it finish?
He trips, says Terence.
Maybe she trips him, says Gaius. Does he run past her?
No, says Terence. He trips on a parrot. That's why we have parrots.
Nice story, says P. krameri.
Arthur comes back with a roll of grey duct tape.
It's rather wide, observes Gaius. Ideally, it should be toe width.
No worries, says Arthur. I've also brought scissors.
Hurry up, says Terence. My toes ar getting nervous.
And it's true. They are.
Even if the duct tape is trimmed down to toe width, how will they see?
No, says Arthur. I've had an idea.
What is it? asks Terence.
Make two nail holes at the end of your foot, says Arthur. Then make a hole in each toe. Insert the nails into the toe holes, and hey presto.
You don't know nails, says Terence. There's a fat end and a sharp end.
He's right, says Gaius. How would you get around that?
Make the holes in foot bigger, says Arthur.
Then my toes will be loose! says Terence. Are you stupid?
Better if they are, says Arthur. I thought this was a trial.
Perhaps we should try taping the toes on, says Gaius. Less invasive. Did you see any tape in the hatches?
I'll look, says Arthur.
He goes.
Woo! says Terence. You saved me. You're better than the Virgin.
Am I? says Gaius. How so?
She just sits there, says Terence.
And doesn't intervene? says Gaius.
There's me, running, says Terence. Wah! Wah! There's Saint Joseph coming after me with a hammer. There's her, watching the space on her lap.
Space? says Gaius.
Where I should be, says Terence.
Dear me, says Gaius. And how does it finish?
He trips, says Terence.
Maybe she trips him, says Gaius. Does he run past her?
No, says Terence. He trips on a parrot. That's why we have parrots.
Nice story, says P. krameri.
Arthur comes back with a roll of grey duct tape.
It's rather wide, observes Gaius. Ideally, it should be toe width.
No worries, says Arthur. I've also brought scissors.
Hurry up, says Terence. My toes ar getting nervous.
And it's true. They are.
Even if the duct tape is trimmed down to toe width, how will they see?
Sunday, January 5, 2020
Understanding Toes
On board the Esperance, Terence tries to make friends with his toes.
It wasn't my fault, says Terence.
Wasn't how? ask the toes.
They speak in unison. And ask shortish questions.
Wasn't what how? asks Terence.
Wasn't your fault how, say the toes.
Thanks for understanding, says Terence.
Ha ha! laughs P. krameri.
What's funny? asks Terence.
Toes understanding, says P. krameri.
We don't understand, say the toes.
This was going all right till you laughed, says Terence.
Sorry, says P. krameri. I'll go onto the pontoon and wait for Gaius.
He goes.
Soon you'll get stuck back on to me with fish glue, says Terence.
Does it have to be you? ask the toes.
It has to be me, says Terence. But if you like, you could swap places. I'll ask Gaius.
Super! say the toes.
Two bicycles trundle along the pontoon and stop at the Esperance gangplank.
Greetings, P. krameri, says Gaius. How is Terence?
Chipper, says P. krameri. Making jokes.
Jokes? says Gaius. Did you hear that, Arthur?
No, says Arthur. I was thinking about Team Condor.
Terence is making jokes, says Gaius. But his balance must be impaired. The sooner we get the fish glue the better.
They board the Esperance and enter the cabin.
My toes want to change places, says Terence.
Let me see them, says Gaius.
These are them, says Terence.
One is slightly larger than the other, says Gaius. I don't advise it.
Let's just try, says Terence.
All right, says Gaius. We'll try it out while we wait for the fish glue. I wonder if Captain Bruni has anything suitable.
I'll have a look, says Arthur.
He opens various hatches.
And comes back with a hammer and nails.
Saturday, January 4, 2020
Worried And Worse
Gaius, says Katherine. I'm in Launceston with Margaret. Where are you?
On the ferry to Kettering, says Gaius.
I suppose you've forgotten that you arranged to meet us, says Katherine. How long will you be?
There a has been a small mishap with Terence, which may delay us, says Gaius. In fact, we may not even.....
What is the mishap? asks Katherine. Is it knife-related?
Toe-related, says Gaius. Two have broken off. I have not yet been informed of the circumstances.
Margaret and I will motor down to Kettering at once, says Katherine. Margaret has first aid training.
It's merely a question of fish glue, says Gaius. Jinjing is retrieving it now.
Retrieving? Have you left it behind somewhere? asks Katherine. What if he can't find it?
Jinjing is as reliable as Arthur, says Gaius.
Let's hope he is even more reliable, says Katherine.
Indeed, says Gaius. So you need not come.
We will come, says Katherine. Margaret agrees, don't you Margaret.
There follows a muffled exchange while Katherine explains the toe issue.
Gaius makes a glum face at Arthur.
They're coming, says Gaius.
Let them come, says Arthur. They can take Terence home, and we won't have to transport him to Hobart by bicycle.
Gaius brightens. An excellent plan!
What's that you said? asks Katherine.
We shall be waiting for you on the Esperance, says Gaius. I assume you are coming?
Yes, Margaret has agreed. She's just popped off to the chemist, to buy some items for Terence.
No need, says Gaius. I have every faith in Jinjing.
See you in three hours, says Katherine. Bye now.
Tch! says Gaius. Margaret is already interfering.
But we ought to keep on her good side, says Arthur.
You're quite right, says Gaius.
The ferry lands in Kettering. They disembark, with their bicycles.
Jinjing has not yet arrived with the fish glue.
But there's no need to worry. Not yet.
.....
Deep down
In the Jetty Café bin
Jinjing is worried
With the empty chip packets
The froth rimmed coffee cups
The half eaten bread rolls
The curled sausage ends
The biobags of dog poo
And worse
There is nothing resembling
Old fish glue.
On the ferry to Kettering, says Gaius.
I suppose you've forgotten that you arranged to meet us, says Katherine. How long will you be?
There a has been a small mishap with Terence, which may delay us, says Gaius. In fact, we may not even.....
What is the mishap? asks Katherine. Is it knife-related?
Toe-related, says Gaius. Two have broken off. I have not yet been informed of the circumstances.
Margaret and I will motor down to Kettering at once, says Katherine. Margaret has first aid training.
It's merely a question of fish glue, says Gaius. Jinjing is retrieving it now.
Retrieving? Have you left it behind somewhere? asks Katherine. What if he can't find it?
Jinjing is as reliable as Arthur, says Gaius.
Let's hope he is even more reliable, says Katherine.
Indeed, says Gaius. So you need not come.
We will come, says Katherine. Margaret agrees, don't you Margaret.
There follows a muffled exchange while Katherine explains the toe issue.
Gaius makes a glum face at Arthur.
They're coming, says Gaius.
Let them come, says Arthur. They can take Terence home, and we won't have to transport him to Hobart by bicycle.
Gaius brightens. An excellent plan!
What's that you said? asks Katherine.
We shall be waiting for you on the Esperance, says Gaius. I assume you are coming?
Yes, Margaret has agreed. She's just popped off to the chemist, to buy some items for Terence.
No need, says Gaius. I have every faith in Jinjing.
See you in three hours, says Katherine. Bye now.
Tch! says Gaius. Margaret is already interfering.
But we ought to keep on her good side, says Arthur.
You're quite right, says Gaius.
The ferry lands in Kettering. They disembark, with their bicycles.
Jinjing has not yet arrived with the fish glue.
But there's no need to worry. Not yet.
.....
Deep down
In the Jetty Café bin
Jinjing is worried
With the empty chip packets
The froth rimmed coffee cups
The half eaten bread rolls
The curled sausage ends
The biobags of dog poo
And worse
There is nothing resembling
Old fish glue.
Friday, January 3, 2020
My Fate Is Retrieving Lost Things
Meanwhile, on Bruny Island, Gaius and Arthur are wheeling their bicycles onto the ferry.
I feel I've forgotten something, says Gaius.
You can always get a replacement, says Arthur.
But I don't know what it is, says Gaius.
It'll be a pencil, says Arthur. You're not good with pencils.
True, says Gaius. I never seem to have one when I need one.
I've got one, says Arthur.
Gaius feels in his pockets and, finding no pencil, searches his back pack.
Hardly anything in it, says Gaius. Just dirty underwear. And an apple.
What about fish glue? says someone from behind him.
It's Jinjing, who has arrived with a message.
I threw out the fish glue, says Gaius. It was beginning to smell bad.
Ai! says Jinjing. I have a message, regarding the fish glue.
A coincidence! says Gaius. What is it?
Please send fish glue, love from Terence, says Jinjing. Those are his words.
I bet they're not, says Arthur.
All right, says Jinjing. I added the niceties. Where did you discard it?
In a bin outside the Jetty Cafe, says Gaius. Why does Terence need it?
He has two broken toes, says Jinjing.
Dear me, says Gaius. Has he still got them?
Yes. Or he wouldn't need fish glue, says Jinjing. Shall I fly to the bin and recover it?
Would you? asks Gaius.
It seems to be my fate, says Jinjing. I dived into Baby Bin Penguin for a bottle, I retrieved the lost toes from a smelly bucket, and I am now volunteering to rummage around in the garbage for discarded fish glue.
I guess you live a charmed life, says Arthur.
You deserve a medal, says Gaius.
Thank you, says Jinjing. I'll go now. Wait for me at the Oyster Cove Marina.
Jinjing flies off on his mission.
The ferry departs.
That was a worthwhile trip, says Gaius. A photograph of a forty spotted pardalote, a brief encounter with swift parrots, and a productive talk with Amanda. I only regret that we never established the whereabouts of Spotty.
Spotty? says Arthur. There was no Spotty.
We cannot be certain, says Gaius.
The ferry proceeds towards the mainland.
Gaius's phone rings.
Curses! It's Katherine! What time-wasting thing will she be wanting?
I feel I've forgotten something, says Gaius.
You can always get a replacement, says Arthur.
But I don't know what it is, says Gaius.
It'll be a pencil, says Arthur. You're not good with pencils.
True, says Gaius. I never seem to have one when I need one.
I've got one, says Arthur.
Gaius feels in his pockets and, finding no pencil, searches his back pack.
Hardly anything in it, says Gaius. Just dirty underwear. And an apple.
What about fish glue? says someone from behind him.
It's Jinjing, who has arrived with a message.
I threw out the fish glue, says Gaius. It was beginning to smell bad.
Ai! says Jinjing. I have a message, regarding the fish glue.
A coincidence! says Gaius. What is it?
Please send fish glue, love from Terence, says Jinjing. Those are his words.
I bet they're not, says Arthur.
All right, says Jinjing. I added the niceties. Where did you discard it?
In a bin outside the Jetty Cafe, says Gaius. Why does Terence need it?
He has two broken toes, says Jinjing.
Dear me, says Gaius. Has he still got them?
Yes. Or he wouldn't need fish glue, says Jinjing. Shall I fly to the bin and recover it?
Would you? asks Gaius.
It seems to be my fate, says Jinjing. I dived into Baby Bin Penguin for a bottle, I retrieved the lost toes from a smelly bucket, and I am now volunteering to rummage around in the garbage for discarded fish glue.
I guess you live a charmed life, says Arthur.
You deserve a medal, says Gaius.
Thank you, says Jinjing. I'll go now. Wait for me at the Oyster Cove Marina.
Jinjing flies off on his mission.
The ferry departs.
That was a worthwhile trip, says Gaius. A photograph of a forty spotted pardalote, a brief encounter with swift parrots, and a productive talk with Amanda. I only regret that we never established the whereabouts of Spotty.
Spotty? says Arthur. There was no Spotty.
We cannot be certain, says Gaius.
The ferry proceeds towards the mainland.
Gaius's phone rings.
Curses! It's Katherine! What time-wasting thing will she be wanting?
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Saving Forty Five Minutes
P. krameri gives Terence the message.
Gaius and Arthur will be on the next ferry.
When's the next ferry? asks Terence.
In fifteen minutes, says P.krameri. We flew over it.
Who's we? asks Terence.
Jinjing and me, says P. krameri.
Wait a minute, says Terence. What happened?
We met in the air, says P. krameri. And exchanged messages.
Then what? asks Terence.
(This doesn't sound right).
Kept going, says P. krameri.
But that means ... says Terence. What does that mean?
We saved forty five minutes, says P. krameri.
Of what? asks Terence.
Time, says P. krameri.
You said fifteen, says Terence.
They won't be on that one, says P. krameri.
But you said! says Terence.
I said the next one, says P. krameri. In forty five minutes. But it will take half an hour to get here.
When? demands Terence.
Forty five plus thirty, says P. krameri. Never mind. Let's just be comfortable and tell one another our adventures. You first. I heard your toes had a mishap.
Terence reaches into his shorts pocket and pulls out the toes.
They look like little eyeballs.
Look at the way they're looking at you, says P. krameri.
They aren't, says Terence.
Yes we are, say the toe balls.
They're talking! says Terence.
Just looking, say the toe balls.
Ask them how, suggests P. krameri.
How, toe balls? says Terence.
Reproachfully, say the toe balls.
Gaius and Arthur will be on the next ferry.
When's the next ferry? asks Terence.
In fifteen minutes, says P.krameri. We flew over it.
Who's we? asks Terence.
Jinjing and me, says P. krameri.
Wait a minute, says Terence. What happened?
We met in the air, says P. krameri. And exchanged messages.
Then what? asks Terence.
(This doesn't sound right).
Kept going, says P. krameri.
But that means ... says Terence. What does that mean?
We saved forty five minutes, says P. krameri.
Of what? asks Terence.
Time, says P. krameri.
You said fifteen, says Terence.
They won't be on that one, says P. krameri.
But you said! says Terence.
I said the next one, says P. krameri. In forty five minutes. But it will take half an hour to get here.
When? demands Terence.
Forty five plus thirty, says P. krameri. Never mind. Let's just be comfortable and tell one another our adventures. You first. I heard your toes had a mishap.
Terence reaches into his shorts pocket and pulls out the toes.
They look like little eyeballs.
Look at the way they're looking at you, says P. krameri.
They aren't, says Terence.
Yes we are, say the toe balls.
They're talking! says Terence.
Just looking, say the toe balls.
Ask them how, suggests P. krameri.
How, toe balls? says Terence.
Reproachfully, say the toe balls.
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
Hard To Talk In The Air
Captian Bruni has swabbed out the galley.
Terence has recovered his toes.
They are now in his shorts pocket, washed and dried, and waiting for fish glue.
I'm just going to pop over and see Captain Kermadec, says Captain Bruni.
What about us? asks Terence.
Wait here, says Captain Bruni. Arthur knows where you are.
He picks up the exploded packet of trail mix, and the ribbon.
Are you taking that to Captain Kermadec? asks Jinjing.
Yes, says Captain Bruni. What's left of it.
He heads off down the marina, tying the ribbon as he goes.
Now what? says Terence. We're stuck here.
Wait for Arthur, says Jinjing.
I'm not waiting for Arthur, says Terence. I'm waiting for Gaius.
Gaius and his fish glue, says Jinjing. Arthur doesn't know about your toes, though.
Wah! says Terence. They might not come for AGES!
They'll have to, says Jinjing. They're both in a bike race. They need to get back to Adelaide.
They'll forget! wails Terence. Can we call them?
No, says Jinjing. We don't have a phone.
I need a parrot! says Terence.
I'm a parrot! says Jinjing.
A proper parrot, says Terence.
What would the proper parrot do? asks Jinjing.
Fly to Gaius with a message, says Terence. And then come back with a message.
I can do that, says Jinjing. But I don't think I should leave you.
I do, says Terence. I can't go far with no toes.
You've got eight toes, says Jinjing. And it didn't stop you rowing.
I'm not rowing again EVER, says Terence. I'll sit here and look at the sky till you come back.
Okay, I'll go, says Jinjing. It should take me an hour.
Don't forget me, says Terence
I won't forget you, says Jinjing.
He takes off in the direction of Bruny Island.
Flying, flying.
Berp! Bird alert !
Another parrot is flying towards him.
It's P. krameri!
Um. Hard to talk in the air.
The ferry is below them. Well, nearly. Just a slight diversion. They land on a railing.
P. krameri: Where have you been?
Jinjing: On board the Esperance, with Terence and Captain Bruni.
P. krameri: I have a message.
Jinjing: So do I have a message.
P. krameri: My message is that Gaius and Arthur will be back on the next ferry.
Jinjing: That's the answer to my message!
P. krameri: The answer? What was your message?
Jinjing: Please come back on the next ferry. I need fish glue. Love from Terence.
P. krameri: That doesn't sound like Terence.
Jinjing: I composed it. But he does need the fish glue
P. krameri: You go ahead then. Check that Gaius has packed the fish glue. He was having a clear-out this morning.
Jinjing: Okay, and you go and give Terence the message.
P. krameri: Will do.
They rise and fly off in opposite directions.
.....
Terence sits on the deck of the Esperance.
P. krameri lands before him.
That was quick, says Terence. And you turned into a proper parrot! Give me the message.
Terence has recovered his toes.
They are now in his shorts pocket, washed and dried, and waiting for fish glue.
I'm just going to pop over and see Captain Kermadec, says Captain Bruni.
What about us? asks Terence.
Wait here, says Captain Bruni. Arthur knows where you are.
He picks up the exploded packet of trail mix, and the ribbon.
Are you taking that to Captain Kermadec? asks Jinjing.
Yes, says Captain Bruni. What's left of it.
He heads off down the marina, tying the ribbon as he goes.
Now what? says Terence. We're stuck here.
Wait for Arthur, says Jinjing.
I'm not waiting for Arthur, says Terence. I'm waiting for Gaius.
Gaius and his fish glue, says Jinjing. Arthur doesn't know about your toes, though.
Wah! says Terence. They might not come for AGES!
They'll have to, says Jinjing. They're both in a bike race. They need to get back to Adelaide.
They'll forget! wails Terence. Can we call them?
No, says Jinjing. We don't have a phone.
I need a parrot! says Terence.
I'm a parrot! says Jinjing.
A proper parrot, says Terence.
What would the proper parrot do? asks Jinjing.
Fly to Gaius with a message, says Terence. And then come back with a message.
I can do that, says Jinjing. But I don't think I should leave you.
I do, says Terence. I can't go far with no toes.
You've got eight toes, says Jinjing. And it didn't stop you rowing.
I'm not rowing again EVER, says Terence. I'll sit here and look at the sky till you come back.
Okay, I'll go, says Jinjing. It should take me an hour.
Don't forget me, says Terence
I won't forget you, says Jinjing.
He takes off in the direction of Bruny Island.
Flying, flying.
Berp! Bird alert !
Another parrot is flying towards him.
It's P. krameri!
Um. Hard to talk in the air.
The ferry is below them. Well, nearly. Just a slight diversion. They land on a railing.
P. krameri: Where have you been?
Jinjing: On board the Esperance, with Terence and Captain Bruni.
P. krameri: I have a message.
Jinjing: So do I have a message.
P. krameri: My message is that Gaius and Arthur will be back on the next ferry.
Jinjing: That's the answer to my message!
P. krameri: The answer? What was your message?
Jinjing: Please come back on the next ferry. I need fish glue. Love from Terence.
P. krameri: That doesn't sound like Terence.
Jinjing: I composed it. But he does need the fish glue
P. krameri: You go ahead then. Check that Gaius has packed the fish glue. He was having a clear-out this morning.
Jinjing: Okay, and you go and give Terence the message.
P. krameri: Will do.
They rise and fly off in opposite directions.
.....
Terence sits on the deck of the Esperance.
P. krameri lands before him.
That was quick, says Terence. And you turned into a proper parrot! Give me the message.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
