The Eye And The Red Tattered Prayer Stick

And the skewer. Where is it?

Arthur picked it up, while Ferdy was packing the Perth Scuba van.

He shoved it into his shorts pocket, with the pointy end down.

Now, on the way back to Esperance, he feels it sticking into his leg.

He draws the skewer out of his pocket.

What the hell? says Ferdy. What are those red bits?

Bits of head, says Arthur. An eye and a snout end, and red tatters of sinew.

Get rid of it, says Ferdy. What if I had to stop in a hurry?

I'll fix it, says Arthur.

He rips the beady black eye from the end of a string of veinous material, and pops it onto the skewer. Then he prises the snout end from its fleshy attachments. Squee-erk!

He pushes the hollow snout end over the skewer.

Now all it needs is a ribbon and feathers, to look like a prayer stick.

........

Sweezus meets the Dempsters at the boat ramp.

Welcome aboard, says Andrew Dempster. Beautiful day!

Yeah, awesome, says Sweezus. Thanks for asking me. Is it okay to bring Baby Pierre?

How is he, after his accident? asks Mary Emily.

Good as new, says Sweezus. But disillusioned.

I'm not surprised, says Mary-Emily. No father should behave like that.

Baby Pierre wonders where Mary-Emily got that idea from.

.......

Gaius has finally caught up with Ageless, who has been skulking.

Ah, Ageless, says Gaius, I thought you may have gone back to Perth with the vanguard.

Vanguard? says Ageless.

Arthur and Ferdy, says Gaius. They're taking the sea dragon head to the museum as a matter of urgency. They left early this morning.

Did you see it? says Ageless. The head?

No I didn't see it, says Gaius. I was off looking for you. When I returned to the campsite, there was Sweezus, reading a note left by Arthur.

Let us hope, says Ageless piously, that Arthur takes care of the specimen. You know what he's like.

Yes, I have every faith in young Arthur, says Gaius.

.......

The Georgette drops anchor somewhere off Woody Island.

Would anyone like to go for a swim? says Ed Dempster.

Not me, says Baby Pierre. Not after yesterday. I'll just look up at the sea birds.

And it is true, there are sea birds to look up at.

Oh look, says Mary-Margaret. A Cape Barren Goose. You might like to put that in your notebook.

And there! says Andrew Demptser. A white breasted sea eagle!

Fuck! says Sweezus.

Pardon? says Mary Emily.

What luck, says Sweezus. But I think I'll go in for a swim now.

He dives into the water without waiting for further advice from the captain.

What brought that on? says Mary-Emily. He was in a hurry.

Baby Pierre knows.

Sweezus hates birds.

........

Under the water, free of sea birds, Sweezus is swimming.

He opens his eyes.

He stops swimming, extends his arms, floats redundant.

What can he see there in the dark swaying sea grasses? Something red. Something ribbony.

If he can just hold his breath long enough, he might make it down there.

He kicks his legs and heads for the bottom.

Is His Eye Out?

Sweezus stares at the grass where the tent was. Nothing. Not even the skewer.

Where did everyone go? Surely they haven't gone without him.

He walks over to the next tent, which is Ted and Sylvia's.

Ahem, he coughs before entering.

Sylvia is brewing up coffee.

Hi, says Sylvia. Come to fetch the little soldier? He's been so brave.

Ted is cradling Baby Pierre in a hankie.

Rocking him back and forth, crooning a lullaby.

Ree-ree-ree-roo-ee-oooh.

Baby Pierre is heavily bandaged.

Woah! says Sweezus. Is his eye out?

No, no, says Sylvia. It's back in now. He'll be okay.

Hello, says Baby Pierre. Is Ageless sorry?

He will be, says Sweezus. He ate the rest of the specimen.

All of it? says Baby Pierre.

Except for one black eye and a snout end, says Sweezus. Gaius will kill him.

Ooh! says Baby Pierre. Let's go then.

Bye bye, little fellow, says Ted.

By the way, says Sylvia. Your friend left a message.

She gives Sweezus a hand scribbled message, from Arthur.

.......

Sweezus and Baby Pierre are sitting outside in the sun in the spot where the tent was.

Baby Pierre's bandage is off. He looks better.

Sweezus is reading the note from Arthur.

Gone back with Ferdy. Taken the rest of the Bundy. See you in Perth.

Brilliant, thinks Sweezus. And that's not all they've taken.

Here comes Gaius, who has been looking for Ageless.

Where's our tent and equipment? asks Gaius. And more importantly, where is the specimen?

Arthur and Ferdy've taken it back to Perth, says Sweezus. They'll drop it off at the museum for DNA testing.

Excellent decision! says Gaius. Time is of the essence. Ha ha. For a while there, I feared Ageless had eaten it.

Baby Pierre opens his mouth to say something.

Sweezus holds up a finger.

Baby Pierre and I are going out on the Georgette this morning, says Sweezus.

Very good, says Gaius. Take my note book, you may spot something to add to the sum of our knowledge.

He pulls a notebook from his pocket.

Gaius's notebook. What a privilege.

Of course it's too much to ask him to also provide a pencil.

........

Am I coming? asks Baby Pierre, when Gaius has gone off again looking for Ageless.

Yes, says Sweezus. Don't say I'm not awesome.

You lied, says Baby Pierre. You lied about EVERYTHING.

I saved everyone from getting into trouble, says Sweezus.

What a red letter day.

But as usual he has not looked ahead to the future.

Kicked Out For Singing A Verb

Sunrise, Lucky Bay.

This is the morning that Ferdy will be driving the Perth Scuba van back to Perth.

But he is still sleeping. So is Arthur.

Gaius stirs. He opens his eyes. He pokes Sweezus awake.

Wha.....? says Sweezus.

Have you seen Ageless? says Gaius.

He came back last night, mumbles Sweezus.

I mean this morning, says Gaius.

Sweezus sits up. Looks around.

He gets up and pokes his head through the tent flaps.

There on the ground is a skewer, bearing telltale tatters of flesh, one black eye, one red snout end.

Not wanting to be the one to tell Gaius, he leaves the tent and starts walking.

The sun is shining, the beach is heaped with things that washed up in last night's storm.

He sits down on a pile of wet seaweed and looks out to sea.

He is not alone on the seaweed.

Kobo and Brianna are sitting at the periphery.

Hi, says Brianna. Are you looking for Baby Pierre?

No, says Sweezus. But shit! I should be!

He's in Ted and Sylvia's tent, says Brianna. WE got kicked out.

YOU got kicked out, says Kobo.

I know, says Brianna.

What for? asks Sweezus.

Just for singing. Is spaz a bad word? says Brianna.

Spaz? says Sweezus. Depends.

On what? asks Kobo.

Context, says Sweezus. How's the song go?

Hold me back I'm 'bout to spaz, says Brianna. La la la. It's by Rihanna.

Spaz is okay there, says Sweezus. It's used as a verb in that context.

Kobo looks doubtful.

Footsteps are heard crunching.

It's Mary Emily, out for a breath of fresh air.

Hello, says Mary Emily. Not packed up yet?

I don't reckon we'll be going, says Sweezus.

Good, says Mary Emily. Because I was going to ask you if you'd like to come out with us this morning.

Me? says Sweezus. On the Georgette, with you guys?

Yes, says Mary Emily. You're the only one who hasn't. And you seem like a really nice chap with no hang ups.

Sweezus is flattered. A nice chap with no hang ups.

That's not what people think normally.

Thanks, says Sweezus. I'll just go back and tell Gaius.

He heads back to where the tent was. But the tent isn't there. Nor is Perth Scuba.

Not Going To Eat The Head Anyway

Ageless lobster stands at the tent flap with the ruby sea dragon's head on a skewer.

How will he explain it?

It was Ageless......... begins Baby Pierre.

Ageless interrupts him, having thought quickly that he wasn't going to eat the head anyway.

A highly fortuitous find on the sea floor, says Ageless lobster.

Gaius is prepared to believe any explanation which involves the words highly fortuitous.

Well done, Ageless, says Gaius. May I see it?

Certainly, says Ageless, presenting the highly fortuitous head for inspection.

Fascinating, says Gaius. The snout, eye and pectoral fin are in perfect condition. What do you suppose happened to the rest of the body?

Who knows? says Ageless. It's always been savage on the benthic sea bottom.

How'd you find Baby Pierre? asks Sweezus.

I have an unerring sense of direction, says Ageless.

And Rear Admiral Bruni, says Baby Pierre. He helped us get back too. He used PEE!

Pee? says Sweezus. In the ocean? How's that work?

Pee for the wave packet, says Baby Pierre. We had to wait for it. For AGES.

Yeah? says Sweezus. Never heard of a wave packet.

I have, says Ferdy. It's a short burst or envelope of localised wave action that travels as a unit. It would've been freaking fast.

I get it, says Sweezus. Kind of like ... no.... forget it (he was thinking of surfing).

Now you've found a ruby sea dragon, says Ferdy, you might want to go back to Perth. My offer's still open.

Gaius is about to take up the offer when:

Mary-Emily sticks her head through the tent flap.

Hellooo! says Mary-Emily. So the prodigals have returned. What a night! And we've got our precious net back. Ed and Andrew are stoked. They sent you this bottle of Bundaberg Rum as a thank you.

Come in! says Gaius. Let's all drink it.

He opens the bottle and takes an unhygienic swig, passing it to Arthur, who takes another one.

At last it is Baby Pierre's turn. He has never drunk rum before.

Uglugluglug. Ooh! Haaah! He feels like a volcano!

And starts babbling, just as Ageless feared.

It was the best of times and it was the worst of times, says Baby Pierre, turning Dickensy. There were hundreds and hundreds of ruby sea dragons, all dancing and prancing, then Ageless turned up with the Rear Admiral. The ruby sea dragons cheered. We were saved! Yay! Baby Pierre has been saved by his daddy! Then the BAD Thing happened.

Ageless pokes Baby Pierre in the eye with the skewer.

Ach! Eye to eye. Cruel daddy!

Sweezus looks sympathetic.

Mary-Emily thinks: What a nice young man that is.

Baby Pierre stumbles out of the tent, and wanders about in the dark half blindly.

From Ted and Sylvia's tent he hears Brianna singing that song by Rihanna:

see all of my kindness, is taken for weakness,
hold me back i'm 'bout to spaz
la la la

You Will Be Without Everything

Dark stormy night. Lucky Bay campsite. Two o'clock in the morning.

Gaius, Arthur, Ferdy, and Sweezus sit up drinking cocoa.

I have to head home later this morning, says Ferdy.

You're leaving us? says Gaius.

You're welcome to have a lift back to Perth, says Ferdy.

Is it Monday already? asks Sweezus.

Yeah, says Ferdy.

We can't leave before the mission is over, says Gaius. Besides, we've lost two of our party.

Good on you, says Ferdy. But remember, you won't have a diving suit, or a rebreather. Or this tent or any camping equipment. Or transport.

Never mind, says Gaius. Arthur will do something about it.

Ferdy looks over at Arthur, who is looking out through the tent flap.

........

In the next tent, drinking cocoa, are Sylvia and Ted, (the ecologists), Kobo and Brianna.

Sylvia and Ted are having an argument.

Sylvia: You have no soul!

Ted: It wasn't finished:

Sylvia: That's what you say.

Ted: He loved her and she loved him his kisses sucked. Call that finished?

Sylvia: What do you girls think?

Brianna: Kobo says that about Ageless.

Ted: See?

Sylvia: A lobster and a fossilised clam! All right, what's the rest of it?

Ted: sucked out her whole past and future or tried to.

Sylvia: Hmm. Okay that's not bad.

Ted: Baby!

( he kisses her)

Sylvia: Honey!

(she bites his neck)

Kobo: Note that, Brianna.

......

In the next tent, drinking cocoa, are the Dempsters, bemoaning their net loss.

It was granddad's, says Andrew.

It might wash up on shore in the morning, says Mary-Emily.

Not likely, says Ed Dempster. It sank straight to the bottom.

More cocoa? asks Mary-Margaret.

Yes thanks, says Ed.

I'll need to get some more water, says Mary-Margaret.

I'll come with you, says Mary-Emily.

They go out of the tent with the kettle.

All that fuss over a net, says Mary-Emily. They don't care about that little lost pebble.

I know, says Mary-Margaret. It's all property, property, property....oh ! what's that moving?

They peer into the darkness, to see what it is, moving over the sand.

........

Remember how Arthur was looking out through the tent flap?

This is what he saw.

At first, nothing. Then he saw Mary-Margaret and Mary-Emily with the kettle.

He saw them stop and peer into the darkness. Then they bent down.

Mary-Margaret straightened up first, grasping a fishing net.

Mary-Emily sank to her knees.

........

So Arthur is first to herald the triumphant return of Ageless lobster and Baby Pierre from the depths of the ocean where they have spent most of the evening.

Guess what? says Arthur. They're back!

In walk Ageless and Baby Pierre. ( Not Rear Admiral Bruni, who has remained in the ocean, where his life is).

Ageless! cries Gaius. Baby Pierre!

Man, this is awesome, says Sweezus.

Gaius spots the remains of the ruby sea dragon on Ageless's skewer. Head only.

Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. What have we here?

In And Out Of The Zone

Didier: When are you leaving?

Baby Pierre: I'm rescued. We're leaving right now.

Didier: But you're not moving.

Baby Pierre: We're waiting for a packet, no, a wave, no, an envelope....

Didier: An envelope? Down here? Are you kidding?

Rear Admiral Bruni: We're in a bit of a pickle. Would you consider...?

Didier: A lift? Normally I wouldn't.

Baby Pierre: That means YES!

Rear Admiral Bruni: Good man. You'll be rewarded for this kindness.

Didier: I know I will.

He calls up a friend ( Pogonoski ) and together they grasp the net handle in their trifurcated claspers (with bristles).

In a matter of minutes they have lifted the net and its contents to a zone just below the surface of the dark stormy waters of the Recherche Archipelago, off Lucky Bay.

You're on your own now, says Didier. Come on, Pogonoski!

What about your reward? says Baby Pierre.

No more idiots in the benthic zone, says Didier.

Ha ha! laughs his friend Pogonoski.

They turn tail and dive down to the bottom.

How snobbish.

At least we're where we want to be, says Rear Admiral Bruni.

Not quite, says Ageless lobster.

The net floats like a jellyfish just below the surface with the three of them in it.

How long till a wave packet comes?

To pass the time Rear Admiral Bruni tells Ageless and Baby Pierre about his adventures in the Recherche Archipelago.

I had an excellent hydrographer, says Rear Admiral Bruni. Name of Beautemps Beaupré. He charted these waters with the help of Lieutenant Crétin. Those were the days. Now I have to do all my own calculations.

Ageless chomps thoughtfully on the dorsal fin of the ruby sea dragon. He is saving the soft tender brood pouch for later.

........


.....terrible storms, says Rear Admiral Bruni, and had we not had to head straight for Van Diemen's Land we would have mapped the south coast well before Bass and Flinders .....

.....and then, this was 1793 you know, the officers were ardent royalists and the crew were all revolutionaries, so the voyage was fraught with tensions......

Baby Pierre has nodded off to the drone of the history lesson.

He is well asleep when Rear Admiral Bruni recounts how he died of the scurvy .......

Ageless is just about to bite into the brood pouch. Will it be full of eggs? O joy if it should be!

WHEN! along comes a wave packet-train-envelope, and it gathers them up

and it takes them ......

all the way in to the boat ramp in Lucky Bay, where it is two o'clock in the morning.

.......

The others ( Gaius, Arthur, Sweezus, Ferdy, Kobo, Brianna, Sylvia and Ted and one or two Dempsters) are huddled in tents, drinking cocoa.

No one can sleep.

The Limited Effectiveness Of Science

Rear Admiral Bruni, Ageless lobster, Baby Pierre and the half ruby sea dragon (on a skewer) are all bunched together in the fishing net, on the sea bottom.

It will keep us together, says Rear Admiral Bruni. We don't want anyone drifting off.

That's exactly what we want, says Ageless. Why aren't we moving?

We're waiting for a packet, says Baby Pierre, who has been listening, and really likes science.

That's right, little man, a wave packet or wave train, says Rear Admiral Bruni, a natural teacher.

Train? says Baby Pierre. Will it have wheels on?

No, it is more like an envelope, explains Rear Admiral Bruni.

When is it coming? asks Ageless, who doesn't like waiting.

Let me see, says Rear Admiral Bruni. He takes out a waterproof notepad and underwater pencil from his rear admiral's uniform, and starts calculating.

Baby Pierre cranes to look over his shoulder.

Rear Admiral Bruni tries to calculate E, where  E is the mean wave energy density per unit horizontal area.

It's taking ages.

Have you got another one? asks Ageless. That one isn't working.

I could try to calculate P, says Rear Admiral Bruni.

Go ahead, says Ageless, we've got nothing else to do, have we.

Baby Pierre giggles.

What's pee?

P is the wave energy flux per unit of wave crest length, says Rear Admiral Bruni. P equals pg squared over 6 pi times H squared m o Te.

Baby Pierre hopes that pee will help them get moving.

Ageless is sure it will not.

Forgive me speaking as an amateur, says Ageless, but did I just hear the word crest?

What of it? asks Rear Admiral Bruni.

And am I right in supposing that the crest of a wave is generally found on the surface? says Ageless.

Yes, I see what you mean, says Rear Admiral Bruni. We're in far too deep for this formula to be effective. What a pickle.

Don't despair, says Baby Pierre. All we need is a leg up.

But who will give us a leg up? asks Rear Admiral Bruni. Your father has frightened the ruby sea dragons away.

Ageless looks sour. Then he brightens. At least he has something to eat. He twiddles the skewer.

But my goodness. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

Here for example, although it is too murky to see him, is Didier, the chimaera, harbinger of volcanoes.

Hrch! says Didier. You still here? When are you leaving?

The rescuers have a simple answer to this question, and a question to follow the answer.