Welcome, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. You must be Gaius Plinius Secundus.
I am, says Gaius. Forgive me for turning up early. I see Terence is already here.
Guess what? says Terence. I've got a new parrot.
Gaius looks at the electronic parrot. Supposed to be a whizz at mathematics. He will test it.
What is twice times seven? asks Gaius.
Cherry is silent.
An expression, says Terence.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado frowns.
Pescado comes to the rescue.
Fourteen, says Pescado.
Well done, says Gaius. Clever boy.
Saint Roley whispers something to Gaius.
The gist is that the Maldonados are mathematically gifted, and his praise was insensitive.
I see, says Gaius. Point taken. But I asked the parrot, and it failed to answer.
True, whispers Saint Roley. It has not to my knowledge shown any mathematical ability.
What a blunder, says Gaius.
To Pedro Vicente Maldonado he says:
I came early for two reasons. One, to alert you to the fact that I don't eat tomatoes.
That can be accommodated, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. I shall call the caterers.
He makes a quick phone call.
Done, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The dressing shall be optional for the encebollado. The baked cuy is not served with tomatoes. And the t'anta wawa is a sweet, and as such...
Sorry to be such a nuisance, says Gaius. The second thing is .....I had hoped to see Arthur.
He's at the station, says Terence.
Ah yes, the Devil's Nose, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. That's where they were going.
That surprises me, says Gaius. I hope Arthur has booked a hotel.
Arthur hasn't.
Arthur is currently wedged against a snapped sapling on an almost perpendicular slope below a curve of the Devil's Nose train track.
You can always stay here, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
You're too kind, says Gaius.
Too kind. Another useful expression? Like twice times seven.
Twice times seven, says Cherry.
Forty! says Terence.
....een, says Pescado.
Forty-een, says Terence.
Bravo! says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Terence followed your instruction. You were not exact, Pescado.
Mariposa laughs at her brother.
Cherry decides twice times seven is an excellent expression.
Monday, April 30, 2018
Sunday, April 29, 2018
I Am My Own Bird
There is a soft knock on the door.
It's Saint Roley.
Mariposa opens.
I saw you and your family return, says Saint Roley. And there was also a parrot.
Yes, says Mariposa. Come in. It's a very smart parrot. It learns mathematics.
That is remarkable, says Saint Roley.
Perhaps Terence will no longer need you, says Mariposa. You'll be set free.
I don't belong to Terence, says Saint Roley. I am my own bird.
Mariposa leads him into the grand salon.
Terence, here is your bird, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He is his own bird, says Mariposa.
I am, says Saint Roley, and as such I have a bone to pick with Terence.
Is that an expression? asks Cherry.
(See how quickly electronic parrots pick things up).
Yes, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Saint Roley takes Terence aside.
The pigeon died, says Saint Roley. I stayed with it until the end.
That was good manners, says Terence. What pigeon?
The one you fell on, says Saint Roley.
Did it say that? asks Terence.
It didn't need to, says Saint Roley. I saw you.
Did it say anything? asks Terence.
Carrot, says Saint Roley.
Lucky the others aren't listening. They might have laughed. Not realising the pathos.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado is further explaining the search for largest prime number.
It is called the GIMPS, says Pedro Vicente Madonado.
GIMPS, says Cherry. Is that....?
It's an acronym, says Pescado.
Correct, well done son, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Another knock at the door.
Mariposa opens.
It's Gaius.
I hope I'm not too early, says Gaius.
Are you the caterer? asks Mariposa.
Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. You're having a caterer?
We're having some science people for dinner, says Mariposa. The little cement one is already here. We like him. He has been given an electronic parrot by my father. The parrot learns mathematics, expressions and acronyms. It's very smart.
So Terence is here, says Gaius. And he has a new parrot. That is good news. What about Arthur?
Is Arthur a black and white shorebird? asks Mariposa.
No, that will be Saint Roley. And I am Gaius Plinius Secundus, one of your guests.
Come in then, says Mariposa.
I have met your grandmother, says Gaius. She told me you and your brother keep frogs.
O yes! says Mariposa. Would you like to see them? They're going to have babies.
I would indeed, says Gaius. At what stage are the babies?
Out of the cloaca and into the pouch, says Mariposa. Not yet tadpoles.
Fascinating, says Gaius. I see you are an expert. But perhaps I should see your father first.
Okay, says Mariposa.
She thinks Gaius is nice.
It's Saint Roley.
Mariposa opens.
I saw you and your family return, says Saint Roley. And there was also a parrot.
Yes, says Mariposa. Come in. It's a very smart parrot. It learns mathematics.
That is remarkable, says Saint Roley.
Perhaps Terence will no longer need you, says Mariposa. You'll be set free.
I don't belong to Terence, says Saint Roley. I am my own bird.
Mariposa leads him into the grand salon.
Terence, here is your bird, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He is his own bird, says Mariposa.
I am, says Saint Roley, and as such I have a bone to pick with Terence.
Is that an expression? asks Cherry.
(See how quickly electronic parrots pick things up).
Yes, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Saint Roley takes Terence aside.
The pigeon died, says Saint Roley. I stayed with it until the end.
That was good manners, says Terence. What pigeon?
The one you fell on, says Saint Roley.
Did it say that? asks Terence.
It didn't need to, says Saint Roley. I saw you.
Did it say anything? asks Terence.
Carrot, says Saint Roley.
Lucky the others aren't listening. They might have laughed. Not realising the pathos.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado is further explaining the search for largest prime number.
It is called the GIMPS, says Pedro Vicente Madonado.
GIMPS, says Cherry. Is that....?
It's an acronym, says Pescado.
Correct, well done son, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Another knock at the door.
Mariposa opens.
It's Gaius.
I hope I'm not too early, says Gaius.
Are you the caterer? asks Mariposa.
Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. You're having a caterer?
We're having some science people for dinner, says Mariposa. The little cement one is already here. We like him. He has been given an electronic parrot by my father. The parrot learns mathematics, expressions and acronyms. It's very smart.
So Terence is here, says Gaius. And he has a new parrot. That is good news. What about Arthur?
Is Arthur a black and white shorebird? asks Mariposa.
No, that will be Saint Roley. And I am Gaius Plinius Secundus, one of your guests.
Come in then, says Mariposa.
I have met your grandmother, says Gaius. She told me you and your brother keep frogs.
O yes! says Mariposa. Would you like to see them? They're going to have babies.
I would indeed, says Gaius. At what stage are the babies?
Out of the cloaca and into the pouch, says Mariposa. Not yet tadpoles.
Fascinating, says Gaius. I see you are an expert. But perhaps I should see your father first.
Okay, says Mariposa.
She thinks Gaius is nice.
Saturday, April 28, 2018
Always Save Me
Outside, on the roof of the train.
Not much to hang onto, says Sweezus.
No, agrees Arthur.
It's okay for Arthur, who leads a charmed life, but what about Sweezus?
He has not thought it through.
The train starts its long descent from the high altitude station.
Inside the train, Lotte and Inge examine their Sea Salt.
Lotte's has formed into lumps.
Katastrophe! says Lotte. I should not have made use of that tissue.
Was it a wet one? asks Inge.
I thought it was dry, says Lotte. And the point of the exercise was recycling, as I understood it.
You can uncrumble the lumps, says Inge. It will be good as new.
She leans over to help Lotte uncrumble the Sea Salt.
And sees something out of the window.
At first it's a foot in holey sneakers.
Then it is two.
.......
In the grand house of Pedro Vicente Maldonado, a cushion is found for the parrot.
Many thanks, says the electronic parrot.
It has excellent manners, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I desire to learn mathematics, says the electronic parrot.
Not yet, says Terence. First you have to learn all my RULES.
What are your rules? asks Mariposa.
I bet I know, says Pescado.
Children! says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Let Terence spell out the rules to his parrot.
I'm not SPELLING, says Terence. I'm saying.
It's an expression, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I wish to learn all expressions, says the electronic parrot.
It's so SMART, says Mariposa.
It isn't, says Terence. It doesn't know anything. My first rule is, your name is Cherry.
That's not a rule, says the electronic parrot. Why is it Cherry?
Because that was already decided, says Terence.
By whom? asks the electronic parrot.
This parrot is also good at grammar, observes Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He wonders if he might take possession of the marvellous parrot. Teach it mathematics. Pity to waste such a promising intellect on Terence, who will call it Cherry.
How does this interest you, Cherry? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The largest known prime number.
Dad! says Mariposa.
I know! I know! says Pescado.
Shut UP! says Mariposa. It's Terence's parrot. What's the next rule?
Always save me, says Terence.
What from? asks the electronic parrot.
Anything, says Terence. Unless I want it to happen.
Easy done, says the parrot. Just make sure I know if you want it to happen. In that case I will not try to save you.
That's silly, says Mariposa. What if it's too late?
A good question, and everyone knows it.
Use your own judgement, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
And what is the largest known prime number? asks Cherry.
It has only recently been identified, and has over 23 million digits, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. It is known as M77232917 for short, because 77232917 twos were multiplied to get it.
And one digit subtracted, says Pescado.
Correct, my son, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Show-off, says Mariposa.
Not much to hang onto, says Sweezus.
No, agrees Arthur.
It's okay for Arthur, who leads a charmed life, but what about Sweezus?
He has not thought it through.
The train starts its long descent from the high altitude station.
Inside the train, Lotte and Inge examine their Sea Salt.
Lotte's has formed into lumps.
Katastrophe! says Lotte. I should not have made use of that tissue.
Was it a wet one? asks Inge.
I thought it was dry, says Lotte. And the point of the exercise was recycling, as I understood it.
You can uncrumble the lumps, says Inge. It will be good as new.
She leans over to help Lotte uncrumble the Sea Salt.
And sees something out of the window.
At first it's a foot in holey sneakers.
Then it is two.
.......
In the grand house of Pedro Vicente Maldonado, a cushion is found for the parrot.
Many thanks, says the electronic parrot.
It has excellent manners, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I desire to learn mathematics, says the electronic parrot.
Not yet, says Terence. First you have to learn all my RULES.
What are your rules? asks Mariposa.
I bet I know, says Pescado.
Children! says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Let Terence spell out the rules to his parrot.
I'm not SPELLING, says Terence. I'm saying.
It's an expression, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I wish to learn all expressions, says the electronic parrot.
It's so SMART, says Mariposa.
It isn't, says Terence. It doesn't know anything. My first rule is, your name is Cherry.
That's not a rule, says the electronic parrot. Why is it Cherry?
Because that was already decided, says Terence.
By whom? asks the electronic parrot.
This parrot is also good at grammar, observes Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He wonders if he might take possession of the marvellous parrot. Teach it mathematics. Pity to waste such a promising intellect on Terence, who will call it Cherry.
How does this interest you, Cherry? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The largest known prime number.
Dad! says Mariposa.
I know! I know! says Pescado.
Shut UP! says Mariposa. It's Terence's parrot. What's the next rule?
Always save me, says Terence.
What from? asks the electronic parrot.
Anything, says Terence. Unless I want it to happen.
Easy done, says the parrot. Just make sure I know if you want it to happen. In that case I will not try to save you.
That's silly, says Mariposa. What if it's too late?
A good question, and everyone knows it.
Use your own judgement, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
And what is the largest known prime number? asks Cherry.
It has only recently been identified, and has over 23 million digits, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. It is known as M77232917 for short, because 77232917 twos were multiplied to get it.
And one digit subtracted, says Pescado.
Correct, my son, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
Show-off, says Mariposa.
Friday, April 27, 2018
Up The Devil's Nose
Sweezus meanwhile has made his way to the station.
About time, says Arthur. Let's get on the train.
The other passengers are middle aged women, in holiday attire, and one or two middle aged men with bulging bumbags.
Shit, says Sweezus. What are we in for?
I know it looks bad, says Arthur. But trust me.
They get on the train.
Toot toot!
The Devil's Nose or Nariz del Diablo is the mountain up which they now go.
The sides of the Nariz are almost perpendicular. The track zigzags, up steep nasal ascents.
The middle aged women take photos.
They used to let passengers ride on the roof, says a woman.
Scheise! says her companion. But there are no railings!
Not necessary these days, Lotte, says the woman. Rooftop riding is banned.
I imagine the young people would have been disappointed, says Lotte.
Lotte taps Sweezus on the shoulder.
He turns around.
How would you have liked to ride on the roof of the train? asks Lotte.
Yeah, says Sweezus. I'm visualising it now.
You look familiar, says Lotte. I know. The Sea Salt!
That's us, says Sweezus. This is Arthur. He came up with the idea.
Arthur briefly stops plotting how to get up on the roof with impunity.
Inge and I would love to buy some of your Sea Salt, says Lotte.
Okay, says Arthur. Seventy dollars. Have you got your own packaging?
Lotte rummages in her embroidered shoulder bag.
How about this? says Lotte.
She smoothes out a crumpled up tissue.
Sweezus is grateful that Arthur is doling out the Sea Salt. Yuck, an old woman's crumpled up tissue. Full of dried snot or worse....
Arthur doesn't care. He doles out a few grains of Sea Salt. The train jolts. Jolt! And a few more grains of Sea Salt are spilled on his board shorts.
He brushes them off. They fall to the floor of the train in the shape of an exclamation mark.
Whose future is this?
We shall see.
.........
The train stops at a station. Puruhás dressed in ethnic costumes dance on the platform. Hats and bright red skirts. That sort of thing.
Here the passengers learn a snippet or two of the Puruhá traditions and world view.
It's a harsh life. They grow crops and raise guinea pigs.
Lotte and Inge join in the dancing.
What a lovely meeting of cultures.
Toot toot. Time to get back on the train.
Lotte and Inge sit in the same seats that they had before.
But Arthur and Sweezus are perched somewhere different.
About time, says Arthur. Let's get on the train.
The other passengers are middle aged women, in holiday attire, and one or two middle aged men with bulging bumbags.
Shit, says Sweezus. What are we in for?
I know it looks bad, says Arthur. But trust me.
They get on the train.
Toot toot!
The Devil's Nose or Nariz del Diablo is the mountain up which they now go.
The sides of the Nariz are almost perpendicular. The track zigzags, up steep nasal ascents.
The middle aged women take photos.
They used to let passengers ride on the roof, says a woman.
Scheise! says her companion. But there are no railings!
Not necessary these days, Lotte, says the woman. Rooftop riding is banned.
I imagine the young people would have been disappointed, says Lotte.
Lotte taps Sweezus on the shoulder.
He turns around.
How would you have liked to ride on the roof of the train? asks Lotte.
Yeah, says Sweezus. I'm visualising it now.
You look familiar, says Lotte. I know. The Sea Salt!
That's us, says Sweezus. This is Arthur. He came up with the idea.
Arthur briefly stops plotting how to get up on the roof with impunity.
Inge and I would love to buy some of your Sea Salt, says Lotte.
Okay, says Arthur. Seventy dollars. Have you got your own packaging?
Lotte rummages in her embroidered shoulder bag.
How about this? says Lotte.
She smoothes out a crumpled up tissue.
Sweezus is grateful that Arthur is doling out the Sea Salt. Yuck, an old woman's crumpled up tissue. Full of dried snot or worse....
Arthur doesn't care. He doles out a few grains of Sea Salt. The train jolts. Jolt! And a few more grains of Sea Salt are spilled on his board shorts.
He brushes them off. They fall to the floor of the train in the shape of an exclamation mark.
Whose future is this?
We shall see.
.........
The train stops at a station. Puruhás dressed in ethnic costumes dance on the platform. Hats and bright red skirts. That sort of thing.
Here the passengers learn a snippet or two of the Puruhá traditions and world view.
It's a harsh life. They grow crops and raise guinea pigs.
Lotte and Inge join in the dancing.
What a lovely meeting of cultures.
Toot toot. Time to get back on the train.
Lotte and Inge sit in the same seats that they had before.
But Arthur and Sweezus are perched somewhere different.
Thursday, April 26, 2018
Maths Of The Electronic Parrot
El Paseo Shopping Mall.
The children of Pedro Vicente Maldonado wait at a designated café.
Where is daddy?
Here he comes now. But who is the niño?
Pedro Vicente Maldonado pushes forward the niño.
This is Terence. He is coming to our house for dinner tonight. But he wishes a parrot.
The children stare.
Hello, says Terence.
He looks like baby Jesus, says Mariposa.
No he doesn't, says Pescado. He wears dirty shorts.
And stiff curls on his head, says Mariposa.
And a claw for a finger, says Pescado.
Such ill manners will not be rewarded, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. No ice creams. We go straight to the shopping.
He stands up and strides towards Paseo Ec. and starts looking for trousers.
May I help you? asks an assistant.
Yes, I'm off to Hawaii. What trousers would you recommend?
I recommend shorts, sir.
He points him at shorts.
The children look at Terence.
I used to live in a palace, says Terence.
We live in a palace, says Mariposa.
So much for the palace.
It's big house really, says Pescado.
A pink one, says Mariposa. Why do you want a parrot?
They look after you, says Terence. Except for that time I had a balloon one.
There's a toy shop over there, says Mariposa.
I don't want a toy one, says Terence.
What if it was electronic? asks Pescado.
That would be good, says Terence.
They go to the toy shop.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado is trying on shorts behind a blue curtain.
How are we doing? asks the assistant.
What do you think? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado, coming out in red cargo shorts.
Very nice, says the assistant. They will be a lot cooler than your red velvet trousers. And you can put things in the pockets.
I see, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Children! What do you...? Ay! Where are my children?
Over at the toy shop, says the sales assistant. Will you take these?
I'll be back, cries Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He runs to the toy shop.
Mariposa, Pescado and Terence are at the counter, haggling over an electronic parrot.
Fifty, says Mariposa. That's all we've got.
What's this? says their daddy.
The electronic parrot is out of their price range, says the saleswoman.
Not necessarily, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Our young guest here wishes a parrot. An electronic one would be highly suitable.
The electronic parrot looks pleased.
I don't eat or defecate, says the electronic parrot. And I learn quickly.
Let's see, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. What is the square root of pi?
Yes, says the electronic parrot.
Yes what? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I could learn that, says the electronic parrot. What's the answer?
1.77245385, says Pescado.
Well done, my boy, says his daddy. But the parrot is decidedly precious.
I LOVE the parrot! says Mariposa. So does Terence.
I do, says Terence.
All right, put it on my account, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
And you are? says the saleswoman.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado, astonished.
Ay! Forgive me! says the saleswoman. I did not know you in shorts.
Cielo! cries Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The shorts! Wrap up the parrot. I must hurry back to Paseo Ec. and change into my red velvet trousers!
The children of Pedro Vicente Maldonado wait at a designated café.
Where is daddy?
Here he comes now. But who is the niño?
Pedro Vicente Maldonado pushes forward the niño.
This is Terence. He is coming to our house for dinner tonight. But he wishes a parrot.
The children stare.
Hello, says Terence.
He looks like baby Jesus, says Mariposa.
No he doesn't, says Pescado. He wears dirty shorts.
And stiff curls on his head, says Mariposa.
And a claw for a finger, says Pescado.
Such ill manners will not be rewarded, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. No ice creams. We go straight to the shopping.
He stands up and strides towards Paseo Ec. and starts looking for trousers.
May I help you? asks an assistant.
Yes, I'm off to Hawaii. What trousers would you recommend?
I recommend shorts, sir.
He points him at shorts.
The children look at Terence.
I used to live in a palace, says Terence.
We live in a palace, says Mariposa.
So much for the palace.
It's big house really, says Pescado.
A pink one, says Mariposa. Why do you want a parrot?
They look after you, says Terence. Except for that time I had a balloon one.
There's a toy shop over there, says Mariposa.
I don't want a toy one, says Terence.
What if it was electronic? asks Pescado.
That would be good, says Terence.
They go to the toy shop.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado is trying on shorts behind a blue curtain.
How are we doing? asks the assistant.
What do you think? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado, coming out in red cargo shorts.
Very nice, says the assistant. They will be a lot cooler than your red velvet trousers. And you can put things in the pockets.
I see, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Children! What do you...? Ay! Where are my children?
Over at the toy shop, says the sales assistant. Will you take these?
I'll be back, cries Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
He runs to the toy shop.
Mariposa, Pescado and Terence are at the counter, haggling over an electronic parrot.
Fifty, says Mariposa. That's all we've got.
What's this? says their daddy.
The electronic parrot is out of their price range, says the saleswoman.
Not necessarily, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. Our young guest here wishes a parrot. An electronic one would be highly suitable.
The electronic parrot looks pleased.
I don't eat or defecate, says the electronic parrot. And I learn quickly.
Let's see, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado. What is the square root of pi?
Yes, says the electronic parrot.
Yes what? asks Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
I could learn that, says the electronic parrot. What's the answer?
1.77245385, says Pescado.
Well done, my boy, says his daddy. But the parrot is decidedly precious.
I LOVE the parrot! says Mariposa. So does Terence.
I do, says Terence.
All right, put it on my account, says Pedro Vicente Maldonado.
And you are? says the saleswoman.
Pedro Vicente Maldonado, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado, astonished.
Ay! Forgive me! says the saleswoman. I did not know you in shorts.
Cielo! cries Pedro Vicente Maldonado. The shorts! Wrap up the parrot. I must hurry back to Paseo Ec. and change into my red velvet trousers!
Wednesday, April 25, 2018
Mind Off
I'm not long for this world, says the pigeon.
Tell me about it, says Saint Roley. In poetry, if you like.
The pigeon has never considered this option.
Is he made of cement? asks the pigeon.
Terence? Yes, says Saint Roley.
That explains it, says the pigeon. Help me out of this fountain.
Saint Roley helps the crushed pigeon from the blood red water.
Flat on his back on the pavement, the crushed pigeon turns up his toes.
He asked me.... if I knew a parrot, whispers the pigeon.
And did you? asks Saint Roley. Or was that the first line of your poem? Not much rhymes with parrot.
Carrot, says the pigeon.
His broken wing flutters.
Saint Roley nods sagely.
My brother drowned, says Saint Roley. And I was not with him.
Lucky you, says the pigeon.
Not my point, says Saint Roley. If you are dying, I'll stay with you until it's over.
If it will make you feel better, says the pigeon.
It's supposed to make you feel better, says Saint Roley. Dying is good news and bad news.
Ca-cha! Well, that does surprise me, coughs the pigeon.
It surprised me, says Saint Roley. Anyway what about the parrot?
H-u-u-u-h!. The pigeon expires.
I hope that helped, says Saint Roley.
Another pigeon stops by.
I couldn't help overhearing, says the pigeon. Are you a poet?
Not really, says Saint Roley.
Only I heard you rhyme parrot with carrot.
That was him, says Saint Roley. I dared not suggest it myself.
Still, it took his mind off the end, says the pigeon.
It did, says Saint Roley
Tell me about it, says Saint Roley. In poetry, if you like.
The pigeon has never considered this option.
Is he made of cement? asks the pigeon.
Terence? Yes, says Saint Roley.
That explains it, says the pigeon. Help me out of this fountain.
Saint Roley helps the crushed pigeon from the blood red water.
Flat on his back on the pavement, the crushed pigeon turns up his toes.
He asked me.... if I knew a parrot, whispers the pigeon.
And did you? asks Saint Roley. Or was that the first line of your poem? Not much rhymes with parrot.
Carrot, says the pigeon.
His broken wing flutters.
Saint Roley nods sagely.
My brother drowned, says Saint Roley. And I was not with him.
Lucky you, says the pigeon.
Not my point, says Saint Roley. If you are dying, I'll stay with you until it's over.
If it will make you feel better, says the pigeon.
It's supposed to make you feel better, says Saint Roley. Dying is good news and bad news.
Ca-cha! Well, that does surprise me, coughs the pigeon.
It surprised me, says Saint Roley. Anyway what about the parrot?
H-u-u-u-h!. The pigeon expires.
I hope that helped, says Saint Roley.
Another pigeon stops by.
I couldn't help overhearing, says the pigeon. Are you a poet?
Not really, says Saint Roley.
Only I heard you rhyme parrot with carrot.
That was him, says Saint Roley. I dared not suggest it myself.
Still, it took his mind off the end, says the pigeon.
It did, says Saint Roley
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
First World Problems
The bus empties.
Right, says Simon. I'm heading straight to Chimborazo University. Who's coming?
I suppose we should come, says Tilly.
You should, says Simon. The sooner we get this project started the better. Gaius, have you booked a hotel?
No, says Gaius. Arthur will do it.
Sure, says Arthur. I'll do it.
Arthur heads off, perhaps to find a hotel.
Sweezus seems to have been left in charge of Terence and Saint Roley.
Let's look for my parrot, says Terence.
There's one, says Sweezus.
That's a pigeon, says Saint Roley.
It might know a parrot, says Terence.
He follows the pigeon, which stops at a civic fountain outside a pink building with flags.
Saint Roley thinks Sweezus looks like he needs cheering up.
Why don't you make a poem? says Saint Roley. It did wonders for me.
I'm more of a prose guy, says Sweezus.
Prose is good, says Saint Roley. Speak your trouble.
I'm only here because Gaius needs Arthur, says Sweezus.
Is that IT? asks Saint Roley. First world problem.
Sweezus has to agree that it is a first world problem.
Think of the Andean pouched frogs, says Saint Roley. Think of our mission.
A cry comes from the fountain. Terence has fallen in.
A man has rushed out of the pink building, shouting something in Spanish.
........!
(not dots, proper Spanish)
Sweezus is about to go over and rescue Terence when his phone rings. It's Arthur.
Devil's Nose, says Arthur. You and me are booked on the train. Meet me at the station.
Cool. Where's the station?
But Arthur's phone has gone dead.
The man from the pink building is remonstrating with Terence.
Terence is pretending he doesn't understand.
Sorry, says Sweezus. Did he do something wrong?
YES! He shouted! says Terence. He said I was under-tended.
Not him, says Sweezus. You.
So he does understand Spanish! says the man from the pink building.
He ought to, says Sweezus. He's from Barcelona. But I don't. What's under-tended?
I didn't say that, says the man. I said unattended. In Spanish.
I get it, says Sweezus. But he's really with me. We're here on a mission. Plus we do a sideline in Prognosticating Sea Salt, if you're interested.
And we need a new parrot, says Terence.
What a stroke of good luck! says the man. I am Pedro Vincente Maldonado. You met my mother. She has great faith in your Sea Salt.
No kidding? says Sweezus. How come?
H for Hawaii, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. Where I'm soon to be going.
Sweezus tries to look as though this was to be expected
In fact, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado, I'm meeting my children at El Paseo Shopping Mall in ten minutes. We're shopping for gear for Hawaii. They'll know where this young man can get hold of a parrot.
Yeah but I have to get to the station, says Sweezus.
He can come with me, if you like, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. We'll meet again at my house for dinner.
Yay! says Terence. Best day ever!
He goes off with Pedro Vincente Maldonado to El Paseo Shopping Mall...
... leaving Sweezus free to look for the station...
...and Saint Roley feeling some degree of empathy...
...with a crushed pigeon, bleeding into the fountain.
Right, says Simon. I'm heading straight to Chimborazo University. Who's coming?
I suppose we should come, says Tilly.
You should, says Simon. The sooner we get this project started the better. Gaius, have you booked a hotel?
No, says Gaius. Arthur will do it.
Sure, says Arthur. I'll do it.
Arthur heads off, perhaps to find a hotel.
Sweezus seems to have been left in charge of Terence and Saint Roley.
Let's look for my parrot, says Terence.
There's one, says Sweezus.
That's a pigeon, says Saint Roley.
It might know a parrot, says Terence.
He follows the pigeon, which stops at a civic fountain outside a pink building with flags.
Saint Roley thinks Sweezus looks like he needs cheering up.
Why don't you make a poem? says Saint Roley. It did wonders for me.
I'm more of a prose guy, says Sweezus.
Prose is good, says Saint Roley. Speak your trouble.
I'm only here because Gaius needs Arthur, says Sweezus.
Is that IT? asks Saint Roley. First world problem.
Sweezus has to agree that it is a first world problem.
Think of the Andean pouched frogs, says Saint Roley. Think of our mission.
A cry comes from the fountain. Terence has fallen in.
A man has rushed out of the pink building, shouting something in Spanish.
........!
(not dots, proper Spanish)
Sweezus is about to go over and rescue Terence when his phone rings. It's Arthur.
Devil's Nose, says Arthur. You and me are booked on the train. Meet me at the station.
Cool. Where's the station?
But Arthur's phone has gone dead.
The man from the pink building is remonstrating with Terence.
Terence is pretending he doesn't understand.
Sorry, says Sweezus. Did he do something wrong?
YES! He shouted! says Terence. He said I was under-tended.
Not him, says Sweezus. You.
So he does understand Spanish! says the man from the pink building.
He ought to, says Sweezus. He's from Barcelona. But I don't. What's under-tended?
I didn't say that, says the man. I said unattended. In Spanish.
I get it, says Sweezus. But he's really with me. We're here on a mission. Plus we do a sideline in Prognosticating Sea Salt, if you're interested.
And we need a new parrot, says Terence.
What a stroke of good luck! says the man. I am Pedro Vincente Maldonado. You met my mother. She has great faith in your Sea Salt.
No kidding? says Sweezus. How come?
H for Hawaii, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. Where I'm soon to be going.
Sweezus tries to look as though this was to be expected
In fact, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado, I'm meeting my children at El Paseo Shopping Mall in ten minutes. We're shopping for gear for Hawaii. They'll know where this young man can get hold of a parrot.
Yeah but I have to get to the station, says Sweezus.
He can come with me, if you like, says Pedro Vincente Maldonado. We'll meet again at my house for dinner.
Yay! says Terence. Best day ever!
He goes off with Pedro Vincente Maldonado to El Paseo Shopping Mall...
... leaving Sweezus free to look for the station...
...and Saint Roley feeling some degree of empathy...
...with a crushed pigeon, bleeding into the fountain.
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