I Wings

It's not the same! wails Terence.

What now? asks Gaius.

Denis ruined my muffin, says Terence.

Gaius takes a serious look at the muffin.

It seems intact, says Gaius. And it has gained an advantage.

The muffin is listening. 

What advantage?

What advantage? asks Terence.

It will be easier to get him in and out of the egg box, says Gaius.  

Yes, says Denis. That's what I was thinking.

But he's getting wings, says Terence. Has everyone forgotten?

The muffin hasn't forgotten. 

I wings! says the muffin.

I seem to have improved its understanding, says Denis.

Where are the instructions? asks Terence.

Leonardo's instructions? says Gaius. Don't you have them?

Terence searches his pockets.

No, says Terence. 

I hope they weren't in one of my pockets, says Gaius. If so they're now in the wash.

Becoming unreadable, says Denis. 

Now what? asks Terence.

We shall have to come up with our own design, says Gaius. It shouldn't be beyond us.

Have you ever designed wings? asks Denis.

No. Have you? asks Gaius.

No, says Denis. But give me some paper and a pencil.

Roo-kai has been listening.

He comes over. 

I have wings, says Roo-kai.

Of course, says Denis. I wonder if you'd mind spreading them.

Roo-kai spreads his wings.

I wings! says the muffin.

They're too big, says Terence. 

I'll make them smaller, says Denis.

He draws a set of wings, like the wings of Roo-kai, but smaller.

Scissors? says Denis.

Gaius points to a drawer where there might be scissors. 

Denis, having found a pair of scissors, cuts out the wings.

You're getting wings, says Terence. 

I wings, says the muffin.

Done, says Denis. Now to attach them.

Paper wings? says Gaius.

Temporary, says Denis. Got any toothpicks?

I doubt it, says Gaius. But check in that drawer, behind the candles.

I only need two, says Denis.

Yes! behind the candles are two unused (let us assume) toothpicks.

Denis pokes a toothpick through each paper wing.

Then he attaches each wing to the muffin.

He stands back to assess his work on the muffin.

I wings, says the muffin, using them like crutches to move to the edge of the table.

Hole Open

 Denis Diderot has found a saucer, and placed the spoon on it.

The foam on the spoon quivers,

Done, says Denis Diderot. Anything else?

Examine the hole in the muffin, says Gaius. 

Denis examines the hole in the muffin.

At least it's stopped coughing, says Denis. 

Is all the foam out? asks Gaius.

I believe so, says Denis. Though there may be some residue.

What's residue? asks Terence.

Remaining particles, says Gaius. 

So what do we do? asks Terence.

Either we fill the hole in the muffin, or we leave it open, says Gaius.

What's your suggestion? asks Denis.

Ask the muffin, says Gaius. Now hold still, Terence. I'm attaching your claw.

Denis addresses the muffin.

Would you prefer we left your hole open, or closed? asks Denis.

Wen-I-no-wear, says the muffin.

That's not an answer, says Denis. All right. I'll ask it another way.

Again he addresses the muffin.

Would you prefer your hole open? asks Denis. 

The muffin would prefer his hole closed, but not with just anything.

That foam was disgusting.

He wants it closed, says Terence. He wants to be like he was. And he wants to have wings.

The muffin is grateful to Terence, for knowing his feelings.

Good, says Gaius. See to it, Denis. I need to wash my hands before my fingers stick together.

Sure, says Denis.

He is still thinking of Henriette, and how she will be amused by this story. 

So he will amuse her.

He picks up the muffin. Holds it, cupped in two hands.

His fingers meet around the middle of the muffin.

He squeezes. The hole closes.

He  puts it down.

What did you do to the muffin? cries Terence.

Reshaped it, says Denis. No hole, see? But it's still the same muffin.

Terence looks at his muffin.

It is taller and thinner. 

Its seedy eyes are misaligned.

It's not the same muffin.

 

Claws Come Off Best

Back at Gaius's house, everyone is busy.

Gaius has unpacked, put on a load of washing, and is looking for fish glue.

Denis Diderot is checking his emails,

Terence is showing Ageless lobster his claw.

I had a glowing finger, says Terence, but it needed a battery.

Claws come off best, says Ageless lobster.

Very good, says Gaius, who has found the fish glue. Claws come off best. Did you hear that Denis?

No, says Denis.

Ageless here says claws come off best, says Gaius. It's a double entendre.

Denis can't be bothered with a double entendre. He has received an email from Henriette.

Henriette has replied, says Denis.

What did she say? asks Gaius. If it's not too private. 

She says On what? says Denis

On what? says Gaius. What is that a reply to? 

That depends, says Denis. 

I see, says Gaius. You said that depends and she is now asking on what.

Exactly, says Denis. So I'm still in the dark.

As I see it you now have carte blanche, says Gaius. It's seems she's leaving it up you what further correspondence depends on.

You may be right, says Denis.

I am right, says Gaius. Hold Terence's claw for a moment. I need to apply fish glue to the gap in his hand.

Yikes! says Terence.

It won't hurt, says Gaius. 

No! Look out of the back window! says Terence. It's Roo-kai!

So it is, says Gaius, opening the sliding glass door.

Roo-kai hops in with the muffin in the egg box.

He puts it on the floor and lets go of the string.

Gaius looks down at the muffin.

Well done Roo-kai. says Gaius. What an ingenious way to bring home a sample.

Terence looks down as well.

There is a hole, filled with white foam, in his muffin.

And the muffin is coughing.

We must remove the sample at once, says Gaius. That may be an allergic reaction. Will you do it, Denis? I'm dealing with fish glue so time is of the essence.

Okay, says Denis. I'll scoop it out with a spoon.

He finds a spoon in the kitchen drawer, and scoops out the foam.

Where shall I put it? asks Denis.

On a saucer for now, says Gaius. 

While looking for a saucer, it occurs to Denis that Henriette might like this story.

It's Only A Cake

Roo-kai flies to Henley, with the muffin squeezed into its egg box, suspended by string.

He flies low, so the muffin can see.

He arrives at Henley, lands on a bench, and let's go of the string.

How did that feel? asks Roo-kai.

Wen, says the muffin.

When you were up there, says Roo-kai.

I-no-wear says the muffin.

You'll need to progress beyond that one sentence, says Roo-kai.

I no, says the muffin.

Words will come, says Roo-kai. 

They survey the scene in silence. 

White foam blobs shiver on the sand and the esplanade. There are even a few on the bench.

I promised Gaius I'd bring him a sample, says Roo-kai.

The muffin looks at the foam blobs.

A gust of wind blows them away.

Not sure how I'll do it, says Roo-kai.

I do it, says the muffin.

Well said, says Roo-kai. You tried to mimic my words. Or was that an offer?

Offa, says the muffin.

Wait here says Roo-kai. He rises and flies down to the beach, where there are plenty of foam blobs.

He selects one. And gathers it onto his wing.

Now he can't fly or he'll lose it. 

So he walks up the steps, with one wing protecting the foam blob.

The muffin watches. 

So this is what parrots do when they find things, thinks the muffin. 

Roo-kai hops back onto the bench.

Move over, says Roo-kai. I'll squeeze the foam blob in beside you.

The muffin tries, but can't make more room.

The egg box is smaller that it was before Leonardo started tinkering.

I see that you can't, says Roo-kai. Never mind, we can solve this.

He ponders the options.

1. Place the foam blob on top of the muffin (but it might blow away)

2.  Place the foam blob under the muffin (which would ruin the foam blob)

3.  Ditch the muffin (but Terence wouldn't like that)

4. Make a foam-blob-sized hole in the muffin (after all, it's only a cake)

Tell me if this hurts, says Rookai.

Cradling the foam blob with one wing, he leans over the muffin.

And pierces its face with his beak.

He withdraws his beak.

Hurts, says the muffin.

You did offer, says Roo-kai. Sorry, but the damage is done now, we may as well continue.

Tin you, says the muffin.

Roo-kai transfers the the foam blob into the hole in the face of the muffin.

Picks up the string.

And arises. 

They fly back to Gaius's house, with their mission accomplished 

Two Uses Of String

Gaius and Denis are busy reassemblig their bikes.

Belle has gone home in a taxi.

Terence is introducing Roo-kai to the muffin.

It's getting made into a parrot, says Terence. It just needs some wings.

It will need more than that, says Roo-kai.

No-wear, says the muffin.

I taught it to say that, says Terence.

Why that in particular? asks Roo-kai.

I was explaining what to say if it knows where something is, says Terence.

Nowhere? says Roo-kai. That's not very useful.

It's short for I know where, says Terence. It's only meant to say it if it knows.

And you don't, says Roo-kai. 

Yes, says Terence. If I lose something. 

Like your claw, says Roo-kai. Here it is, by the way.

Roo-kai hands Terence the claw that he lost back in June.

The muffin is listening and learning.

Terence loses something. The parrot finds it. But what are the wings for?

Okay, says Roo-kai. That's done. Now I'm heading to Henley.

What for? asks Terence.

Observing the foam, says Roo-kai. It's all over the beach and the esplanade. 

I no-wear, says the muffin.

He is practising the words Terence said no-wear was short for.

Would the muffin like to come with me? asks Roo-kai.

Yes! says Terence. You can teach him to fly.

Hardly, says Roo-kai. But I can show him what flying is like, and show him what's happening along our coastline.

Gaius has finished reassembling his bicycle.

Roo-kai! says Gaius. Did I hear you say you're going to Henley?

Yes, there's an abundance of foam there, says Roo-kai. It blew ashore overnight.

Could I trouble you to bring me a sample? asks Gaius. I'm off home now.

I'll drop by this evening, says Roo-kai.

He steps forward to pick up the muffin. 

How will he do this? thinks the muffin.

Are you taking the muffin? asks Gaius. 

I offered to, says Roo-kai. Does he have a container?

The egg box! says Terence.

That's for the cuttlefish eggs, says Gaius. It now has a door. It may be too tight for the muffin.

It won't be, says Terence. 

Gaius produces the egg box, and opens its circular door.  

He wants to see out, says Terence.

Squeeze his bottom half in gently, says Gaius.

Got any string? asks Roo-kai. So I can fly unimpeded.

We're in luck, says Gaius. My bike's flat pack was secured with it. There's some string on the ground.

Soon the muffin is ready to fly to Henley.

Suspended from a real parrot. 

This is simpler than he expected.

Wings Aren't Like Shorts

 Bump bump....rurrrrrr.

The plane lands in Adelaide.

Passengers stand up to open their overhead lockers.

Gaius takes his backpack down, and puts it on his seat, beside Denis.

Shall I get yours down as well? asks Gaius.

Yes thanks, says Denis. What shall I do with this muffin?

Give it to Terence, says Gaius. And Terence, stay right where you are.

Terence sits on the armrest with his muffin-parrot.

You're getting wings, says Terence. 

No-wear? asks the muffin.

Wings aren't like shorts, says Terence.

The muffin-parrot doesn't want to know what wings are NOT like.

But what they are like.

Leonardo stands up, one seat forward.

He hands Terence a folded piece of paper.

Wings, says Leonardo. Not quite finished.

Thanks, says Terence.

Leonardo edges past Belle to retrieve his backpack from the overhead locker.

Bye, Leonardo, says Belle. 

Goodbye, says Leonardo. Let me know how the wings went.

How? asks Belle.

He hands her a card. 

The passengers shuffle forward, along with Leonardo.

Belle stands up.

Did you get the wings? asks Belle.

No, says Terence. Only this folded-up piece of paper.

That's the design for the wings, says Belle. Don't lose it.

Okay, says Terence. Can I get down yet?

Yes, says Gaius. It looks like we're moving. Hold on to your muffin.

Terence jumps down with the muffin.

That was like flying, says Terence. 

Not what I imagined, thinks the muffin. 

At last they are off the plane and heading to the baggage carousel to pick up their bikes.

We'll unpack them outside, reassemble them and ride back to my house says Gaius.

I'm getting a taxi, says Belle.

She heads outside, but comes back in straight away.

Roo-kai's come to meet you, says Belle.

Yay! cries Terence, running to the exit with his muffin.

Roo-kai is waiting outside.

Have you found my claw? asks Terence. 

Yes, says Roo-kai. I have found it.

You're the best parrot ever, says Terence. 

Roo-kai looks at the muffin that Terence is holding. It has a face like a parrot. Someone has spent a long time on it, considering it's fate.

The muffin looks with its black seedy eyes at Roo-kai.

Trying to work out where his wings are.

Where Wings Go

It's a question of timing, says Gaius.

How long have we got? asks Denis.

We don't know how long the algae will take to get to Port Lowly, says Gaius.

Once the eggs are removed, that won't matter, says Denis.

We must consider where we will keep them, says Gaius.

In Terence's egg box, I suppose, says Denis. 

Yes, how are the designs for your egg box going, Terence? asks Gaius.

Leonardo is doing it, says Terence. 

That's good to hear, says Gaius. But we'll be landing soon. Perhaps I should talk to him.

He stands up and taps Leonardo on the shoulder.

Yes? says Leonardo.

The egg box, says Gaius. Could you show me the designs?

I can do better than that, says Leonardo. 

He hands Gaius an egg box, with a circular door attached by a hinge. The door is transparent.

Impressive, says Gaius. I see you've used Terence's muffin box. And added a transparent door.

I reduced it in size, says Leonardo, and made use of the cellophane wrapper, part of which forms the door, then I rolled up the rest to fashion a workable hinge.

I applaud you, says Gaius. And by the way, you did a good job making the muffin look like a parrot.

I'm designing some wings now, says Leonardo.

We will shortly be landing in Adelaide. All passengers must now return to their seats, announces a flight attendant.

I'd better sit down, says Gaius. 

Don't sit down! shouts Terence.

Gaius stops in mid knee-bend.

Good reflexes! says Denis.

Was I about to sit on the muffin? asks Gaius, twisting.

No, but two seconds later you might have, says Terence.

How's that? asks Gaius, still crouching.

He's having a flying lesson, says Terence. He was about to jump down off the armrest, onto your seat.

Where is he now? asks Gaius. He's not on the armrest.

I've got him, says Denis.

So I could have sat down, says Gaius. And why was he having a flying lesson?

So he can fly, says Terence. 

Leonardo is designing some wings, says Gaius. I suggest you wait till they're ready.

The muffin-parrot, safe in Denis's hands, wonders what wings are.

Furthermore, he has a head but no body.

Where will they go?