The Perils Of Busking

A large crowd has gathered around Ray Moon, Gaius and the snake box. Katherine and Margaret can't see what's happening . But they can hear reasonably well.


Ray Moon: Come out in the name of the Lord!

( sound of chains rattling, as Gaius opens the snake box)

Crowd: Ooooh! Real live snakes!

Ray Moon: In the name of the Lord I challenge you. Bite me!

Charles Red-belly: Hissss. Spitty poo!

Olive Python: Me too? Do you want me to bite you?

Ray Moon:  Do what you will, female serpent!. I trust wholly in the Lord!

Crowd member: What's that slimy stuff in the jar?

Gaius: That sir, is saliva.

Crowd: Eeeew! Yuck.

( mothers stop the ears of their children)

Ray Moon: It will not be necessary to use the saliva. The Lord....ow!

Crowd: He got bitten! Grab the snake!

Gaius: No no! It is part of the act!

Olive Python: Charles! Did you bite him?

Charles Red-belly: No, I didn't.

Ray Moon: Something did!

Crowd member: A wasp? A hornet?

Ray Moon: Quick! The saliva!

Crowd: Ooooh! Saliva.

Gaius opens the jar of saliva.

A policeman pushes forward ( Sergeant Victor).

Sergeant Victor: Hello, what's this then? Saliva?

Gaius: Victor It's you! I thought you were in Wallaroo.

Sergeant Victor: Never mind that. What you are doing is illegal.

Ray Moon: No, it's all an illusion. These are pet snakes. It isn't saliva. I am not a believer.

Crowd: Shame! Shame!

Olive Python: Charles! Do something! It's all going pear-shaped!

Charles darts through the crowd, hissing at various people. Olive wraps herself around Victor. Ray comes to his rescue. Gaius runs after Charles, catches up and stamps on his tail with his foot. Charles rears up and bites Gaius on the kneecap.

Gaius: Ow!

Crowd: Awesome! That looked real!

They clap, whistle and woohoo raucously. Some drop cash into the snake box.

The crowd melts away.

...........

Are you all right Gaius? asks Victor.

Perfectly, says Gaius, as soon as I......

Then I must ask you and your accomplice to accompany me to the station, says Victor.

Katherine and Margaret have come forward to see what is happening.

Dear me, says Katherine. Are you being led off?

Yes we are, says Ray Moon. Could I ask you to look after that money until we get back?

Certainly, says Katherine. And can I have the keys to the ute? I must retrieve dear little Porky.

Another crime? says Victor. Child left in car? Madam....

No, no, just a dog, says Katherine. Or is that a crime nowadays?

That depends on the state of the dog, says Victor.

Katherine reflects that the state of the dog could be misinterpreted.

She hopes Victor won't follow it up.