Correspondence

Of course, it was Belle et Bonne who sat down to write the letter. This is what she wrote:

Dear Iris Murdoch,

No doubt you've heard of our online magazine Velosophy, being a philosopher yourself and also a keen bicyclist. We are currently attempting to modernise, by including more articles by women. We would like to invite you to contribute something. You won't get paid, but you can write whatever you like. What do you say?

Belle et Bonne
for the Editorial Team

She showed it to Madam Denis.

That's fine, said Madam Denis, without looking at it properly.

So Belle et Bonne pressed 'send'.

A few moments later she received a reply in her inbox:

Dear Belle et Bonne,

Thanks for asking me to contribute to Velosophy. No one has asked me to write anything for absolutely ages. Can't understand why. I'll get down to it right away. Put a firecracker among the philosophers !!! Male ones !!! And their Bikes!!!!
Regards, Iris ( the Judi Dench one ). xx

Belle et Bonne was alarmed at this response. She didn't dare show it to Madam Denis.

Instead she wrote back to the Judi Dench Iris:

Dear Iris ( the Judi Dench one)

We really wanted the Kate Winslet one to write something for us. Is that possible? Don't want to seem rude or anything. Sorry xx

She received an instant reply:

Dear Belle et Bonne,

No, it isn't possible. The Kate Winslet one isn't the person you think she is. She is sex mad and not very good at philosophy at all. I'll do it. It will be fine don't worry.
Iris (the Judi Dench one) x

Has Iris replied yet? asked Madam Denis.

Not yet, said Belle et Bonne.