Queen of Philosophers

Belle et Bonne was bored. The VeloDrone and Le Bon David were not making use of her considerable talents. She decided to do something about it.

David, Papa, she said to them one evening, I think Velosophy has become rather dull lately. I think we ought to look at modernising.

Modernising! The Velodone looked surprised. But we are extremely modern. We publish online. We allow all sorts of nonsense in the name of philosophy. We promote bicycling. How could we be more modern?

Papa, said Belle et Bonne, I have been looking at our back copies, and do you know, they were all written by men!

The Velodrone shot a significant look at Le Bon David.

Well, my dear, said Le Bon David, not noticing the significant look, that is because all the best philosophers are men.

Uncle David! cried Belle et Bonne. You are so old fashioned!

Maybe so, said Le Bon David, but I am correct. And please, dear, don't call me Uncle David.

I will call you Uncle David, because you deserve it, said Belle et Bonne. And I shall call you Uncle David until you take back what you've just said.

Dear, dear, said Le Bon David, looking helplessly at The VeloDrone. I daresay there are some very fine women philosophers these days. It was just that in the old days, well, it wasn't the thing, for ladies...... he trailed off.

The VeloDrone smirked.

So what is it you are suggesting, my dear? he asked solicitously.

I am suggesting that we ask some women cycling philosophers to contribute to Velosophy. Imagine papa, it will be sure to at least double our circulation.

Why not, my dear, I wholeheartedly agree. After all was not my beloved friend Catherine the Great the very queen of philosophers? Although the idea of her riding a bicycle is somewhat unsustainable......

Oh good, papa, I'm so happy that you agree. And we shall be so busy, we will need some extra help. I have already asked an old acquaintance of ours to come in tomorrow and help.

Have you indeed? said The VeloDrone indulgently. And who might that be, may I ask?

It is Madam Denis, announced Belle et Bonne.

At the name of Madam Denis, The VeloDrone turned pale.