Nocturnal Emission

Farky tiptoed down the gloomy curved passage and emerged into the heart of darkness that was the Nocturnal House.

He looked around. He could see nothing but a series of bluish glows, and ghostly lit-up branches. It was perfectly quiet.

I need a minute to adjust, he thought. He closed his eyes and began to sniff.

Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, he sniffed loudly.

Then he remembered the sign. Oh dear, said Farky, I forgot about the dear little Ghost Bat babies. Where are they I wonder?

He opened his eyes. Now he could see a bit better. He stood on his hind legs and looked over a railing into a dark bluish enclosure decorated with colourless branches that were dotted with slices of apple. But nothing alive.

He tried the next one. In one corner he saw a group of bilbies, nibbling apples.

Bilbies, he said. Someone's awake at least.

Next he walked over to a glass-fronted enclosure set into the wall. It too contained branches, and slices of apple were attached to the branches with pins.

A family of humans came in, while Farky was staring hard at the apple slices.

A little girl pushed past him and looked up into the murky heights of the next glass enclosure.

Here they are! she shouted.

Where? asked Farky.

Up there, said the girl.

Farky looked over and up.

He saw a furry mass of writhing bats hanging upside down from a pole.

He didn't know how he ought to feel towards the bats. They didn't look very nice. In fact, he thought, they looked rather disgusting. But if they were the parents for whose sake he was being especially quiet, shouldn't he be feeling more tender? And if they were the baby bats, what of that? Who knew what size baby bats were? This Zoo was a puzzle. It was a set of conundrums. It was a contradiction in terms. It was an ethical nightmare. IT WAS NO PLACE FOR DOGS!!!!

He turned tail and ran out of the Nocturnal House, to find Sweezus.