We Are Not Babies

Sweezus handed Farky an apple. He ran off with it, returning a few minutes later with a meat pie in a paper bag.

Where'd you get that? asked Sweezus.

Swapped the apple for it, said Farky.

What kind of person swaps a meat pie for an apple? asked Sweezus suspiciously.

An inattentive person, said Farky. That's who.

Beats me why you want a meat pie, said Sweezus. Seeing you've just demolished an exotic bird.

Joke! said Farky. I didn't really eat an exotic bird.

What about that greenish-purple feather? asked Sweezus.

A pigeon's, said Farky. And I didn't eat the pigeon either, in case you're wondering. I don't like pigeons and I don't like apples but I do like pies. You can always find something you like at the Zoo. Anyway, how were the Pygmy Hippos?

Awesome, said Sweezus. Here, read my notes and tell me what you think.

Farky read Sweezus' notes aloud:

The Pygmy Hippos are nocturnal but hey! guess what? they are out and about in the middle of the day. They look like baby hippos but they're not baby hippos. If you read the sign in front of their enclosure you will learn this interesting fact. We Are Not Babies, it says. Obviously a lot of people think they are babies which must be irritating. Under We Are Not Babies it says We Have a Blog. How cool is that? You wonder what they write in it. "Today at least ten people thought we were babies. Pooh to them!". The Pygmy Hippos look like fat little black puddings or liver sausages about to burst their skins. The skins are so tight that you can see the pink sweat breaking through in some places. The sweat has sunscreen in it.

Not bad! said Farky, impressed. I like the tone. But I see you haven't taken my advice about not trying to be funny.

What do you mean? said Sweezus. I wasn't trying to be funny.

Perhaps that's why you got away with it, said Farky.

Thanks, said Sweezus.