Woop Woop!

Happy, happy gibbons, said Farky, nostalgically.

They're actually called Siamang, said Sweezus. I've been reading their interpretive sign.

Have you written anything? asked Farky. I hope you're not forgetting your assignment.

Oh blast and damn! said Sweezus. My assignment! I was having such a good time I forgot all about it. All I've got is the piece on Pygmy Hippos! What shall I do?

Write about the Siamang, suggested Farky. Let's observe them for a while. Then you can knock something up.

They leaned over the railing of the wooden observation platform. Under a tall leafy tree was a pool and in the pool there were three flat rocks. On these rocks sat three Siamang, their long black hairy arms spread at right angles and their dark bodies reflected in the pool, which also reflected the topmost branches of the tree. Sweezus started writing furiously.

After a few minutes he waved his notes at Farky.

Inspiration! he cried. Read this, Farky!

Farky read:

We are the Siamang. Woop Woop!! We live in a cool zoo. We are happy in the zoo. We have a pool. We have tall leafy trees with branches we can swing through. We have babies. Woop Woop! We make Woop Woop noises. We sometimes encroach on each other's territories. But we are happy. We get food. No one here cuts down our trees to make palm oil. We will not become extinct. Woop Woop!

Farky looked at Sweezus.

What? said Sweezus. You don't like it?

Jesus, Sweezus! said Farky. You know what they call that don't you? That's full on anthropomorphism.

So it doesn't work, said Sweezus, disappointedly.

Stick to what you know, said Farky.