Drugged And Massaged To Sleep In Porto-Vecchio

It's the eve of the Tour de France. Team Provenance are in their hotel room, in Porto-Vecchio. Ageless is lobbying for a place on the team, as a replacement.

No, no and no, says Gaius definitively. Both Niko and I will be perfectly fine. We just need a good sleep tonight. And furthermore, you don't have an outfit.

This sounds like a weak point to Ageless.

He sidles over to Arthur.

Any spare outfits? says Ageless.

No, says Arthur. I just ordered four. How do you like them?

You all look like bees, says Ageless, with a touch of sour grapes.

I think we look brilliant, says Unni, looking fondly at Arthur. Black and gold, with puce leg grips, and bright orange shoes.

But no spare ones, says Arthur. And anyway, it would be hard to fit you.

No it wouldn't, says Ageless. Is there any material left over?

No, says Arthur.

That looks like that.

But Ageless has thought of a plan.

Alright, says Ageless. Looks like I'm just the team gopher. I shall endeavour to do a good job.Would you like a sleeping draught, Gaius and Niko?

What a wonderful idea, says Gaius.

Yes please, says Saint Niko. And an embrocation. Oh, my back!

Ageless skitters away to the chemist, and not the official team chemist.

As if we'd use Ageless, says Gaius. Remember his old team, Team Crustacean?

No, says Unni. What happened?

Ageless was captain, and the rest of the team were two crabs and a comatose octopus called Starpuss, says Gaius. They dragged her behind in a cart. It all ended in tears and destruction.

Ha ha, laughs Niko. I can just picture it. Except .....how does he ride?

Yeah, says Unni. With eight legs. How does he?

He has no problem with that, says Gaius. He pedals with the two biggest ones, grips the handlebars with the next two, and straps the rest up. He rides rather well, in the circumstances. But we need not concern ourselves with that. He is just the team gopher, as he so aptly described it.

Ageless returns with a bottle of pills and a jar of embrocation. Gaius and Niko retire to the bedroom, to be drugged and massaged gently to sleep.

Arthur, says Unni, is there really no material left?

There are a few scraps, says Arthur. Here in my pocket.

Don't throw them out yet, says Unni.