Too Streamlined To be Fearsome

Erotic? says Sweezus. How is Sweezies Cuttlies erotic?

Maybe it's just me, says Arthur.

Less said the better then, says Gaius. Choose another name.

No, says Belle et Bonne. I love it. And can I tweak it just a little? Sweezies Tender Cuttlies?

Awesome! says Sweezus. But.... isn't that even more erotic?

What's wrong with more erotic? says Belle et Bonne. If marketing's the key.....

And so it is decided. Sweezies Tender Cuttlies. ( Erotic, is it? I don't know...)

Thanks Gaius, says Sweezus. Great idea. How can I repay you?

Get on with that report, says Gaius. I'm leaving for Wallaroo tomorrow. I'll come back and pick it up tomorrow morning bright and early.

Gaius leaves, to go home and unpack.

Geez! says Sweezus. Arthur, want to help me?

No, says Arthur. You should do it. But look, I've brought you this.

He pulls the Richie Porte notes from his pocket.

Woah! says Sweezus. Is this the Richie Porte thing? Let's see. What'd he write?

He grabs the notes. Belle looks over his shoulder.

What a lot of commas! says Belle et Bonne.

I put them in, says Arthur. Perhaps I overdid it.

Sweezus is good at skim reading. He skims down to the end. He reads the part where Richie meets Lu Ban, carpenter immortal:

....he's an immortal(,) weird(,) yeah(,) he's getting into cycling(,) he's going to design a bicycle(,) a dragon bicycle(,) with the head of a dragon(,) and a dragon's tail(,) I showed him mine(.)

This is BIG!, says Sweezus.  Richie has a new design for a bicycle. This'll create a massive mega stir!

Papa and David may not like it, says Belle et Bonne. Where's the philosophy? It's just a straight out narrative.

Too bad, says Sweezus. It's way too big to sit on!

...........

Lu Ban is working on his bicycle. The dragon's head is something of a problem.

Sikong Shu comes in.

How's it going? says Sikong Shu. Wouldn't it go faster with its mouth shut?

Tell me about it, says Lu Ban. But then it wouldn't look so fearsome.

You'll sort it out, says Sikong Shu.

How about you? says Lu Ban. Have you found that girl yet? Rosamunda?

Yes and no, says Sikong Shu. I know where she is but she doesn't want to see me. She doesn't realise....

What, says Lu Ban. What doesn't she realise?

How many people will be in trouble if she doesn't leave soon, says Sikong Shu. Professor Mee-man Chang, Dr Zhu Min, me. Not to mention Ming Rong the chap she's got herself involved with.

And of course herself, says Lu Ban. I've heard that there are penalties.

Yes, there are penalties, says Sikong Shu. Strict penalties. Five hundred yuan for each day she overstays her visa. And five to thirty days detention.

Ah, the little goddess of the moon will get her come-uppance, says Lu Ban. Come-uppance. Moon. It's a joke.

Very funny, says Sikong Shu, but what about me? I don't want my come-uppance.

Are you really worried, Shu? says Lu Ban. You know I can fix anything. I'll go and see her. If that fails, I have friends in high places.

You are a pal, says Sikong Shu. Let me buy you a drink.

Thanks, says Lu Ban. Go round the corner and get two Chin Chin Grass Jellies.

Back in a tick, says Sikong Shu.

He goes out.

Lu Ban turns back to wrestle with the dragon.