Connections And Corrections

One does not argue with Lu Ban.

Ming Rong? says Rosamunda as she disappears down the stairs, in the strong grip of  Lu Ban, carpenter immortal.

Don't worry, Rosamunda, calls Ming Rong. You are safe unless.....

But Rosamunda doesn't hear the rest. She is already half way down the street.

Where are we going? says Rosamunda to Lu Ban. And why so fast?

I always go fast, says Lu Ban. And as to where we're going, that depends. You may be useful.

He stops and regards her, thoughtfully.

I wish to be included in a team for the Tour Down Under. I believe you have connections, says Lu Ban.

Oh yes, says Rosamunda. I have connections.

Right, says Lu Ban. You're coming home with me.

.........

Next morning, in the office of Velosophy.......

Arthur has finished the report. Sweezus is still sourcing cuttlies.

Man! says Sweezus, expensive! Twenty four dollars a kilo! We'll have to catch our own.

Gaius enters.

Hello there, Sweezus! Finished my report? says Gaius

Arthur hands it to him.

Gaius scans it quickly.

Yes yes, says Gaius. Wonderful. Title, Summary, Introduction, Conclusion. Very professional. Did you write this, Arthur?

Yes, says Arthur. Sweezus is busy sourcing cuttlies.

Even better, says Gaius. I don't have to pay you.

What? says Arthur. Why don't you have to pay me?

Because you're coming with me to Wallaroo, says Gaius. The report is, shall we say, included.

You didn't tell me, says Arthur. I've promised to help Sweezus organise his cuttlies.

Yeah that's right, says Sweezus. Arthur and me are going cuttling.

You can cuttle up at Wallaroo, says Gaius. As long as you do it south of the jetty.

Awesome, says Sweezus. Arthur. Are you in?

I suppose so, says Arthur.

At least he will be spending time with Sweezus.

But the report....

If he'd known he might have written something different.