Spoiling Dinner

Arthur comes in.

Where's Lu Ban? asks Arthur, looking round.

Out for a duck, says Janice, grinning.

Arthur doesn't realise this is a cricket reference.

Good, says Arthur. And Gaius?

Coming home tomorrow, says Rosamunda.

Even better, says Arthur. Where's Lu Ban's snake?

Olive Python looms up behind Arthur. Arthur turns.

Olive Python likes the look of Arthur. The feeling is mutual.

Gaius signed the contract, says Janice. We made him do it.

Let's see, says Arthur.

He's only signed in pencil! says Rosamunda. Is that legal?

Easy fixed, says Arthur. Give me a pen.

As Rosamunda looks around the kitchen for a pen, Lu Ban returns, bearing a big red cotton bag, printed with Chinese characters.

He glares at Arthur, and puts the bag down on the kitchen table.

Duck? says Olive Python, sniffing.

One for me and one for you, my lucky talisman, says Lu Ban.

They smell unusual, says Olive Python. Are they fresh?

I could only get cooked ones, says Lu Ban. I had to go all the way to Chinatown. These are honey glazed and roasted.

They smell amazing! says Rosamunda.

You can have mine, says Olive Python. I only eat live ones. Who will provide me with a live one?

I will, says Arthur.

You will not, says Lu Ban. I am the captain.

Tell him, Arthur, says Rosamunda.

I'm changing teams, says Arthur.

Lu Ban tries to keep his head together.

This leaves just him, and Gaius, who is absent, as team members of Everlasting Dragons.

And furthermore where is his Dragon Bicycle? It is missing from the kitchen.

Where's my Dragon Bicycle? says Lu Ban, staring icily at Arthur.

Outside, says Arthur. But there's been a minor incident.

Minor incident! cries Lu Ban. I'll give you minor incident!

Keep your hair on, says Arthur. It's just the special button. I accidentally pressed it.

Woah! You pressed it! says Janice. You're SO in trouble! What happened?

The ribbon fell off, says Arthur. It didn't seem that terrible.

Lu Ban is beside himself with fury. His lucky ribbon!

When Lu Ban is really angry he wants to bite something.

He rips open the red cotton bag and eats the first duck, then commences on the other.

You'll spoil your dinner, says Rosamunda.

This is my dinner, says Lu Ban.

No, no, says Rosamunda, you're having dinner with the Premier. Remember? You're meeting him at six o'clock.