Advantages Of Mistaking A Shark For A Dolphin

Arthur and Sweezus leave the water and head back to the others, forgetting that Janice is missing.

They trudge along the sand, towards Henley. Arthur's toe has nearly stopped bleeding.

That shark, says Sweezus. What a killer!

You'd have to wonder where he got his jokes from, says Arthur.

Yeah, says Sweezus, no stand-up in the sea.

This strikes Sweezus as funny. No stand up in the sea. Hee hee! Slurp!

Now the absinthe bottle is empty.

They see Gaius, Big Janis and Belle et Bonne, sitting on towels. Belle is waving.

What happened to Janice? says Belle. She followed you.

Eaten by a shark, says Arthur.

Big Janis looks concerned.

Only joking, says Sweezus. You'll never guess who we've just been talking to......

Don't joke about things like that, says Belle et Bonne. Where is she?

They all turn and stare up the beach.

.............

The shark does several twirls in the water.

How pretty the patterns of blood. What an opportunity he missed by starting that fool conversation. And they didn't even get the second joke until he explained it. Is he losing his comedic touch?

He spies a small figure in the distance, boring through the water, splash splash, in a little green swimsuit, and a blue pointy hat.

Now, Shifty, don't blow it this time.

He speeds up, and is soon behind Janice. He opens his jaws.

Janice hasn't yet seen him. Splash splash. She is tiring. Time for a float.

Janice stops and rolls over in the water, floating like a green lettuce, looking up at the sky.

From the corner of her green demon eye she sees Shifty.

A DOLPHIN! says Janice. Come here!

I'm no DOLPHIN! growls Shifty.

I think I can recognise a dolphin, says Janice. You're a dolphin.

And you are an ignorant human, says Shifty.

Float with me, says Janice. Look at the sky. There's a vapour trail. Isn't it pretty. Did you know it's just another form of cloud?

Rubbish, says Shifty. It's pollution, that's what it is.

No it isn't, says Janice. Just cloud. That's what Dad says.

I suppose it was Dad that taught you how to spot a dolphin, says Shifty.

Yes it was, says Janice. By its fin.

Huuuuh! sighs Shifty. I give up. Want to hear a joke?

Yes please, says Janice.

You might not get it, says Shifty. My jokes are science based.

Woo! says Janice. I like science. Try me.

All right, says Shifty. Why did Schroedinger, Dirac and Pauli work in very small garages?

Because they were quantum mechanics, says Janice.

You've heard it! says Shifty.

No, I just worked it out, says Janice. Here's one for you. A blowfly goes into a bar and asks: Is that stool taken?

That's disgusting, says Shifty.

Yes, giggles Janice. I know.