The Demon Proves Doubly Reliable

Gaius and Big Janis are sitting on bar stools in the Ironclad Hotel, feeling gloomy.

If we just had my notebook, says Gaius, I'd call them.

Big Janis orders another round of beer.

We could go out there without them, says Big Janis. I know where it is.....

The door opens. In walks Lu Ban, followed by Janice.

Janice! says Big Janis. What are you doing here? And who's this?

Dad! says Janice. We've brought the contract for Gaius to sign. We're just passing.

Just passing! says Big Janis. How did you get here?

In Lu Ban's Wooden Bird, says Janice. This is Lu Ban.

Gaius starts up from his gloom-induced reverie. Lu Ban! Did I hear the name of my nemesis?

I am Lu Ban, says Lu Ban. You must be Gaius. Please sign this, so we can leave. Our Wooden Bird is already wilting. Janice, the contract.

Janice thrusts the notebook at Gaius.

Wonderful! My notebook, says Gaius. Janice, you have proved yourself most reliable.

More reliable than Arthur? says Janice.

In this one case, yes, says Gaius. More reliable. Now what's this about signing?

Errrm, says Janice. It's just a receipt for the notebook. Sign here.

Gaius signs with a flourish, using his fish-topped lead pencil. He's had it for years. My goodness, it gets shorter and shorter.

Janice tears out the page with the contract which Gaius has signed. She hands it to Lu Ban.

Janice, says Lu Ban approvingly. You are more than reliable. You've outdone even Rosamunda.

I know, says Janice. It's my dream.

It is also my dream, says Lu Ban. Shall we go now?

They turn to leave, when in come the two professors, who until now have been standing outside the hotel examining the vine leaves and tendrils of butternut pumpkin of which the Wooden Bird is constructed.

They can't quite see how it was done.

Gaius! says Professor Wacey. Gaius P. Secundus! says Professor Kranendonk, more formally.

I didn't think you were coming, says Gaius. But now you're both here. And so is my notebook. Shall we head out to look at these microbes?

It's rather hot, says Professor Wacey.

But I don't have all that long, says Gaius. I have to get back for the Tour Down Under. I'm captain of Team Provenance or what ever we call it these days.

Lu Ban smirks at Janice.

Let Gaius think he is captain of a team that no longer exists under that foppish name.

All right, says Professor Wacey. We'll head out to the Dresser Formation. Will you come with us in the Toyota? What about your friends here?

Oh can we, Lu Ban? pleads Janice. I so LOVE microbes.

Microbes? says Lu Ban. What are they anyway? I don't know any  microbes.

Oh yes you do, says Professor Kranendonk. You may think you don't. Have you heard of bacteria?

No, says Lu Ban.

Professor Kranendonk is taken aback. He has asked that of many enquirers.