Use The Strap

Next morning is Saturday morning.

The day of the popular Ferney-Voltaire market.

The streets are already crowded. Vello and David make their way to La Poste.

There is a queue outside, because La Poste is not yet open.

They stand at the back of the queue.

Is that Terence? says David, spying Terence at the  head of the queue, on the steps.

It is! says Vello What luck! Let us go forward.

They stroll to the head of the queue, to make contact with Terence.

Alors! say several queue members.

Pardon. Pardon, says David. C'est notre enfant qui est devant.

Bien sûr, say the queue members, moving out of the way politely, because David spoke French.

Terence! says Vello. Very good of you to keep our place on the steps of La Poste.

It's shut, says Terence. It was shut ALL NIGHT. I had to keep watch.

Parrot-Boy is hovering above the lintel, annoyed. It was HE who kept watch.

The door of La Poste opens, the crowd pushes forward. Allons!

Vello is nimble. He is first to reach the counter.

Votre ami has pushed in, en actualité, says a lady to David.

Pas du tout, says David. This enfant was le premier ici.

Peut être we should speak English, says the lady. I am not French, nor are you, that is evident.

Are you visiting? asks David. So are we. My friend Vello here used to be someone important in Ferney.

Really? says the lady. Who might that have been?

Never mind, says David. He is less important these days. He must queue at the Post Office like everyone else.

A great leveller, says the lady. A Post Office queue. Although he did jump it. Are you intending to visit the market? I hear it's the best in the region.

Most probably, says David. Ah! My friend has his box. You are next, madam.

Vello, David and Terence exit La Poste, with the box from Paris, containing their pith helmets.

Outside, Vello opens the box. Yes! Three Vietnamese style pith helmets, in stylish khaki.

Wearing the pith helmets, which fit perfectly, ( who would expect otherwise?), they walk up and down Avenue Voltaire, looking at cheeses, overpriced baguettes, smoked and cured meats from Auvergne and Pays Basque, fresh seafood from Brittany, Normandy and the coast of the Mediterranean. Olives, truffles, jewellery and trinkets.

At the oyster and champagne stall they bump into the lady.

What sensible hats, says the lady.

Thank you, says Vello, bowing.

You'll be the man of importance, says the lady. Pleased to meet you. I've already met your friend and the infant.

Terence tries bowing. His piss hat falls off.

Use the strap, says the lady.

What a nice lady. Soon they are eating oysters together, and drinking champagne.