Big Bangs And Clackers

It's time to learn the name of the lady.

My name is Em, she says, spilling golden drops of champagne.

Short for Emilie? asks Vello.

No, just short, says Em, shucking her tenth oyster.

Fine oysters, says David. And excellent wine.

Fine oysters, says Terence, making a face at the oysters.

(The last two oysters).

He clacks them together.

Terence! says Vello. Don't play with the oysters!

Lively child, says Em. Reminds me of Oscar.

Your child? asks David.

Yes, says Em. He's around here somewhere. Oscar ! Oscar!

They all look for Oscar, who doesn't turn up at this stage.

How long are you staying in Ferney? asks Vello.

Not long at all, says Em. We're on our way to Geneva.

Whatever for? asks Vello. Are you a Calvinist?

Ha ha, laughs Em. No, I'm a scientist.

So am I, says Terence. I stayed up ALL night.

That does not make you a scientist, says Em. It all depends what you were doing.

I was doing science, says Terence.

So you're interested in science, says Em. So is Oscar. You ought to meet him. Oscar! Where are you?

So, why is a scientist going to Geneva? says Vello.

CERN, says Em. The Large Hadron Collider. Surely you've heard of it?

Of course I've heard of it, says Vello crossly.

Forgive him, says David. He's normally quite sharp. Do you work there?

No, just visiting, says Em. I'm taking Oscar round the 10 Platforms. We have our Passport Big Bangs.

Can we go? asks Terence.

If your daddies will take you, says Em. Do you have bicycles? You do the circuit on bicycles.

I thought it was underground, says Vello.

It's virtual-interactive, says Em. With educational questions. You ride on the surface, above the real thing which is 100 metres underground.

Terence is put off by the idea of Educational Questions.

Think about it, says Em. It's 3 kilometres from here to Geneva. Ah! I think I see Oscar. Oscar! Oscar!

A boy approaches.

It's Parrot-Boy. Oscar is Parrot-Boy!

Oscar Parrot-Boy picks up the last two oysters and clacks them together.

And no one even says anything.