Well Known Cabbage Heads

Virtual Gaius is in a quandary. What to do?

Gaius has insisted on stopping in Breda.

Look, there he is down by the riverbank, talking to someone.

Virtual Gaius clicks himself on, and tunes in to the Bike Lab.

It's me, says Virtual Gaius. Gaius has stopped again.

Arne, who is sitting at the controls in the Bike Lab, calls Dr Roland Geraerts....

......who calls Associate Professor Dr Arjan Egges.

They confer.

Don't lose him, stay with him, says Dr Arjan. What's he doing?

He's talking to an artist, says Virtual Gaius, zooming in on it. The artist is painting a river scene.

Is it any good? asks Dr Arjan.

How would I know? says Virtual Gaius. I'm programmed for crowd and traffic control.

Easy fixed, says Dr Arjan.

He taps on his keyboard.

Now what do you think?

Not bad, says Virtual Gaius. It's in the style of Cornelis van Dalem. I might just stroll down there.

You have half an hour, says Dr Arjan.

Virtual Gaius strolls down to the riverbank, where Gaius is talking to the artist.

Ah! says Gaius. There you are. What do you think of this painting?

Of course, it's not finished, says the artist.

I see you work in the style of van Dalem, says Virtual Gaius.

I must, seeing that I am he, says Cornelis van Dalem.

How amusing.

Virtual Gaius appears to know a great deal about Cornelis van Dalem.

I admire your major landscapes, says Virtual Gaius. The way you introduce new themes, such as the origin of civilisation. Very cleverly executed. Most tasteful.

Thank you, says Cornelis van Dalem. Have you seen my Baker of Eeklo?

Only online, says Virtual Gaius. I should love to see the original. The villagers with cabbage heads. Ha ha!

I have it at home, says van Dalem.

Gaius is feeling left out of the artistic conversation.

What is the name of this river? asks Gaius.

Aa, says Cornelis van Dalem.

You don't know? says Gaius. Never mind, I'll consult Google maps.

The Aa, says Cornelis van Dalem. That's the name of it. Hence Brede-Aa

Aa, says Gaius. Breda, Brede Aa.  I see. And what new themes do you plan to introduce to it?

The Aa? says van Dalem.

The painting of the Aa, says Gaius. So far it looks like a conventional river. Water, riverbank, trees.

Watch this, says van Dalem.

He takes his largest paintbrush and dips it in scarlet.

He paints 'Aa', in bold letters across the brown swirls of water. He lets the red paint drip down.

Virtual Gaius is shocked.

Then he isn't.

(The half hour is up).

That's very modern, says Gaius, seeing Virtual Gaius look blank.

I try to stay with it, says van Dalem. By the way, I live near here in my castle. Would you like to come home and join me in a glass of our finest Breda beer, Oranjeboom?

That would be delightful, says Gaius. And perhaps we could look at your famous cabbage heads.

Van Dalem packs up his easel and heads off down the tow path, followed by Gaius and Virtual Gaius, in opposite moods.