No Presents Like The Times

It's quarter to twelve, and Ray Moon hasn't wrapped up the presents.

They are: a spider pen and a spider eraser, from his pen and eraser collection.

Damn. No wrapping paper. He'll have to wrap them in Blue Mountains Gazette.

Twelve o'clock. Ray stands at the front door of the house with the party ( identified by a Minion balloon ).

Katherine opens the door.

Moon! says Katherine. No one told me you were coming.

Katherine! says Ray. Forgot you'd be here.

How's the god business? says Katherine tartly.

Slow, says Ray. And difficult, with no congregation.

Humph! says Katherine. You'd better come in. Are those PRESENTS?

Yes, says Ray.

I hope they don't contain peanuts, says Katherine.

So do I, says Ray. One's a pen, and one's an eraser.

Sweezus appears at the top of the stairs, backlit by a skylight.

Ray gets that old feeling. Oh Lord.....

Quickly represses it.

(Hard to revere someone who steals from the collection box, to pay for a surfboard).

(But Ray is unduly severe. It was only a paddle).

Come up Ray, says Sweezus. Fish's got this cool Bug book.

Ray shoves the presents at Katherine, who takes them through to the kitchen.

Ray goes upstairs.

Sweezus is in Fish's bedroom, with the Bug book, open at the funnel web spider.

He and Ray sit on the bed.

Down in the garden joyous noises come from the bouncy castle. Then a shout and a wail.

Ray looks at the single example of a funnel web spider in the Bug book.

This won't help you, says Ray. It's not Atrax or Hadronyche. It's the wrong type of funnel web spider.

Fuck, says Sweezus. I've spent half the morning .......

Never mind, says Ray. I have a spider book. I'll bring it over tomorrow. Crikey! What's that?

That's Fish's Lego Bionicle, says Sweezus. Lord Of Skull Spiders. See that bit? The Golden Skull.

Humph, says Ray, echoing Katherine.

Such is human nature.

Sweezus and Ray go downstairs.

The ten children have finished their mini sausages, carrot  and cucumber sticks, Cheetos and choc-dipped marshmallows, topped with M&Ms.  It's cake time! Twelve Minion cupcakes. Hurrah!

Happy birthday! Fish blows out his candle.

The young guests, who up to now have been happy drinking water, become emboldened.

Can we have ginger beer? Lemonade?

At last they have all been spirited away. Now Fish can open his presents. Wow! Lego. Books! A spider pen and a spider eraser!