Surfing Short Waves

Arthur spots a few people surfing, on very short waves.

He decides he would like to go surfing.

Where are you off to? asks Albertine.

Surfing, says Arthur.

Can we come? asks Gilberte.

Sure, says Arthur.

Coming, Marcel? asks Albertine.

No, thank you, says Proust.

That will teach her a lesson.

Arthur, Albertine and Gilberte head off to hire surf boards.

Anyone feel like an ice cream? asks the countess.

I do, says Daniel O'Connell.

Anyone else? asks the countess.

Neither Proust nor Gaius feel like one.

I can hardly send the spider, says the countess.

The penny drops.

I'll go, says Gaius. What kind would you like?

Blueberry, says the countess. Go to the Betty Ice.

I'll have the same, says Daniel O'Connell.

Gaius goes off to look for the Betty Ice.

That leaves Proust and the countess, and Daniel O'Connell.

Proust screws his eyes up and looks into the distance.

He can see Arthur, Albertine and Gilberte, paddling out to sea on hired surfboards.

You should have gone with them, says the countess. You're young enough.

I'm an observer, says Proust. I've learned that much.

I'm a doer, says the countess.

Proust thinks she doesn't seem much of a doer. Can't even get her own ice cream.

I was a suffragette, as well as a revolutionary nationalist and Sinn Féin politician, says the countess. I've lost count of how many times I've been to prison.

I've been in this bottle for ages, says Daniel O'Connell. Before that I lived in an underground cavern, with a poisonous atmosphere. Funny that. Look at me now.

You look chipper, says the countess.

I have relatives in the Canaries, says Daniel O'Connell.

Good heavens! How do you know that? asks the countess.

He doesn't, says Proust. He overheard it from one of the microbiologists. It may not be true.

Oh? And are you a microbiologist? asks the countess.

I like to think so... says Proust. But, no, not qualified. However I have trained as a clown.

Odd sort of thing to have trained as, says the countess. As a young woman, I trained as an artist.

I have a strong interest in art, says Proust.

So do I, says Daniel O'Connell.

Gaius returns with two Betty Ices, both blueberry.

Thank you, says the countess. What do I owe you?

Nothing, says Gaius.

How kind, says the countess, licking her ice cream.

How do I eat this? asks Daniel O'Connell.

I'm not your nursemaid, says Gaius. Come out of the bottle.

The spider crawls out of the bottle, to eat his ice cream