Bustards Are Not People

Next day.

Team Philosophe and Team Condor are having lunch at the Jardin des Plantes.

Vello is paying.

The café is called Les Belles Plantes.

Flowered wall paper, wicker furniture, dried flowers.

A terrace view of the menagerie.

Can we GO now? asks Terence.

Not yet, says Belle.

Well, this is nice, says David, his mouth full of soft-boiled egg and asparagus.

So it should be, says Vello, prodding his semi-cooked tuna in ginger lime sauce.

Sweezus is scowling at his cucumber Detox du Jardin, with its black plastic straw.

What are everyone's plans after Paris? asks Vello. You, Friedrich?

Nietzsche looks at Grace Swan.

He's coming back to Perth with me, says Grace Swan.

How come? asks Sprocket.

Arthur nudges Sprocket.

They're an item.

Sprocket coughs up a lump of ratatouille.

My immediate plans are to remain in Paris, says Gaius. Look up an old friend. He has a connection to this place.

This café? asks Belle.

No, the Museum of Natural History, the menagerie and the Jardin des Plantes, says Gaius. My friend Isidore, a zoologist. I suppose he'll still be here.

Are we going? says Terence.

Not yet, says Belle.

Arthur and me are going surfing before we head home, says Sweezus. Côte Sauvage. Should be awesome.

Me too, says Sprocket.

Look! says Terence. There's a parrot!

He runs off to the terrace.

It's a green parakeet, with a red beak. On a branch, squawking.

Parakeet: Squawk!

Terence: Squawk you.

Parakeet: I was.

Terence: I mean, what you said.

Parakeet: Squawk you.

Terence: That's what I said. Are you in the zoo?

Parakeet: No. It's for losers, like red pandas, snow leopards, Arabian oryxes, white-naped cranes and bustards.

Terence: Ha ha! Bustards!

Parakeet: Why laugh at them?

Terence: Because they're people.

Parakeet: Bustards are not people. I'm off.

Terence: Wait! Be my new parrot.

Parakeet: No! Why would I?

Terence: Because Mouldy is useless. And he didn't win the Tour de France.

Parakeet: Neither did I.

Terence: And he isn't a parrot.

Parakeet: Why do you want me?

Terence: Two red parts. Your beak and your red and black neck ring

A zoologist looms up behind Terence and shoos off the parakeet

Zoologist: Away ! Away!

Terence: He's gone.

Zoologist: Good riddance. He eats the tomatoes in our kitchen garden. Let me take you back to your parents. Where are they?

Terence: In a palace, in Barcelona. I don't want to go there!

Zoologist: Who are you with then? Which table?

But Terence doesn't trust the zoologist who scared off his parrot.

No way will he answer.