Everyone's Responsible

Sweezus comes over to the terrace, to fetch Terence.

Is this your infant? asks the zoologist.

No, but he's with us, says Sweezus. What's he been up to?

Talking to a parakeet, says the zoologist. But I shooed it away. Hence the infant won't speak to me.

Say something, little dude, says Sweezus.

Cucumber, says Terence.

Ha ha! laughs the zoologist. Why did he say that?

I probably smell of it, says Sweezus. Had the Detox du Jardin.

Excellent choice, says the zoologist.

Except for the black plastic straw, says Sweezus.

Oh, that, says the zoologist.

Choking the oceans, says Sweezus.

I know, says the zoologist. But I'm not entirely responsible.

Everyone's responsible, says Sweezus.

Even you, says Terence.

Not if I speak up, says Sweezus.

Do I know you? asks the zoologist.

Tour de France, says Sweezus. Team Condor.

Mais oui! says the zoologist. Team Condor. You were unsuccessful. Do you know Team Philosophe?

Sure do, says Sweezus. They're sitting at our table. Come on over.

Sweezus and the zoologist head across to the table.

Terence remains on the terrace. The parakeet flies down to a railing.

Spit!

What's that? asks Terence.

Tomato seed, says the parakeet.

Gaius looks up from his cheesecake.

Isidore!

Gaius, mon vieux ami!

Would you believe it! The zoologist has turned out to be Isidore Geoffroy Saint-Hilaire, whose father, Etienne, formed the menagerie in the late eighteenth century.

Welcome to the Jardin des Plantes, says Isidore, fetching a chair.

It's gorgeous, says Belle. Was that you I saw talking to Terence?

It was, says Isidore. He was speaking with a rose-ringed parakeet.

Trying to persuade it to become his pet parrot, no doubt, says Gaius.

Would he like one? asks Isidore Saint-Hilaire. They can be quite a nuisance.

He'd love one, says Belle.

How about introducing us, says Vello, to Gaius, who has neglected to do it.

I'll introduce myself, says Isidore. Isidore Geoffroy Saint-Hilaire, zoologist and authority on deviation from normal structure.

You don't say? says Vello. A commendable interest. I daresay most of us deviate to some degree from normal structure. My big toe....

Papa! says Belle. He's joking, Isidore.

I'm used to it, says Isidore. But I must say your young Terence is a puzzle. He appears to be made of cement, yet exhibits a high degree of mobility.

Yeah, says Sweezus. But he can't ride a bicycle.

I should not have expected that, says Isidore. But he does appear able to climb onto a railing. Look, he is doing it now.

O my goodness! says Belle.

They all turn to watch as Terence tumbles head first off the railing.

And into the zoo.