Stage Five: Saint-Dié to Colmar - Racing Sausage

Morning. Before the start of Stage Five.

Vello: What's in our musettes today?

David. Yes, what? The cheese, champagne and chocolates were delicious but overly fatty.

Nietszche: And I normally only drink water.

Belle: You had water.

Nietszche: I beg to differ.

Belle: Perhaps the musettes got mixed up.

Vello: So what's today's lunch?

Belle: Andouillettes, from Nancy.

Gaius: Andouillettes? Remind me what they are.

Belle: Pork sausages encased in small intestine. They may have a very strong aroma.

Vello: Andouillettes! My favourite racing sausage!

David: As long as you keep to the front.

Gaius: Understood. They'll encourage us to try hard on the four hill climbs.

Nietzsche. I'm in favour of that.

David: Well done, Belle.

Belle: Thanks. It's my job.

.....

Sweezus is talking to Richie.

Richie: How's your new team member going?

Sweezus: Sprocket? Bit too keen.

Richie: Looking forward to this stage?

Sweezus: Yeah. You?

Richie: Yeah. For me, the race starts today.

Sweezus: Advice. Watch out for Mouldy.

Richie: No worries. I will.

....

Later, on the final  hill climb.

Nietszche is riding alone. He has eaten a sausage.

He sees an old man at the side of the road and slows down.

Old man: Greetings! Can you direct me to the old monastery?

Nietzsche: No. I'm not from here.

Old man: Have you been eating andouillettes?

Nietzsche: I have. How can you tell?

Old man: When they make use of the colon, there's a distinctive aroma.

Nietzsche: I wondered what that foul taste was. Are you a monk, by any chance?

Old man: Not these days. I go by the name of Saint-Dié.

Nietzsche: A saint! I always wanted to meet one!.

Old man: Why is that, my son?

Nietzsche: For the opportunity to tell you, there are no interesting people in heaven.

Old man: I never thought of it that way.

Nietzsche continues onwards and upwards.

Where is everyone?

Perhaps he has climbed the wrong mountain.

......

And so have we.

But what is that cheering we can faintly hear drifting across the valley?

It's for Peter Sagan!