Stage Thirteen: Pau to Pau - Pow!

Stage thirteen.

Individual time trials.

There are many advantages to going early, says Vello.

Indeed there are, agrees David. For the rest of the day we'll be free.

We can look around Pau, says Vello.

Or relax in a café, says David. How about you, Gaius?

I've promised to take Terence on the funiculaire, says Gaius.

Best of luck, says Vello.

Nietzsche remains silent, because no one has asked him his plans.

Just as well because Sprocket is standing nearby. He is the next one to go in the time trials.

He would not want to know that Nietszche has a date with his mother.

Bang! Sprocket zips down the ramp, full of energy.

He passes Tony Martin, who is saving his energy today.

Sprocket is expending a great deal of energy, for average results.

Arthur is next to go. He was almost disqualified after yesterday.

Because of the Peruvian hat.

The rules are: no hats other than an approved cycling helmet.

Arthur had claimed innocence of the hat, it had been in his musette, he didn't know how it got there. He had thrown it away, it had caught a breeze, lifted, and dropped onto his head momentarily.

He was believed.

Arthur lives a charmed life.

Bang! Arthur zips down the chute.

Today he has extra long socks on.

Go Arthur! says Belle.

This is boring, says Terence.

Never mind, says Belle. You're going on the funicular railway with Gaius in the afternoon.

I wish it was now, whinges Terence.

Wish granted. It is now.

While Geraint Thomas and Julian Alaphillipe are still battling it out in the time trials, Terence is riding the funicular railway with Gaius.

He is pretending that Gaius is his grandpa.

It's easy. Gaius knows everything too.

Nietzsche and Grace Swan are at the Chateau de Pau, birthplace of Henry IV, looking at the turtle shell in which the infant Henry was cradled.

A turtle shell, says Grace Swan. If Sprocket ever becomes a father, I shall commission an artist to make one.

The child may not thank you, says Nietzsche.

Vello and David are sitting in a café drinking cafés au lait, and eating gateaux.

Arthur is getting his socks measured.

Fear not. He will not be disqualified.

Julian Alaphilippe is pounding to the finish. Sprint sprint.... can it be?... yes! He has beaten Geraint Thomas by fourteen seconds, and retains the yellow jersey for the glory of France, for at least one more day.