Who Causes Havoc, Who Doesn't

Gaius arrives at the Velosophy office.

Come in, says Vello. How was your trip?

Moderately successful, says Gaius. We found a potential new species of spider. It's on its way to China, as we speak.

A most enterprising spider, says David.

With Shu, says Gaius. He is in a glass bottle.

Does he come out to pee? asks Vello.

Pardon? says Gaius.

Shu, says Vello. Does he?

Does he what? asks Gaius.

Come out of the glass bottle to pee, says David. Don't worry, Vello knows very well it's the spider.

Then why ask? says Gaius. And speaking of asking, what happened to you?

I realised camping wasn't for me, says David. The food was inadequate. Arthur and Sprocket drove me to Pemberton, where I jumped ship and came back to Adelaide to work on my fitness.

I didn't notice you were missing until it was time to leave, says Gaius.

There you go, says David. I was redundant. Whereas here I am part of a team.

Yes, says Vello. A valuable member of Team Philosophe. By the way, we have a new team member, Friedrich Nietzsche. You remember him, Gaius?

Of course, says Gaius. A good physique. He'll be an asset.

He's our super domestique. says David. Vello gave him that title.

Excellent, says Gaius. By the way you'll be pleased to know that Baby Pierre won't be around to upset things this year. He's gone to China.

I'm not pleased at all, says Vello. Now who will upset things?

Ha ha, laughs Gaius. Perhaps Terence? But at least Terence doesn't ride a tiny bicycle and cause havoc.

Belle comes in with a bag of grapes. She tips a large bunch into a bowl and places it on the table.

Grapes! says Vello. Can you still get them in July?

Yes, says Belle. If you search long enough. What was that about Terence?

At the Tour de France, Baby Pierre causes havoc, whereas Terence doesn't, says Vello. It's a disappointment. You know how I love havoc.

Don't be silly, says Belle. Anyone would think you were planning to use Baby Pierre for your own ends. Remember, you've got Nietzsche in your team now.

Yes, he's very straight laced, says David. He'll keep us on the straight and narrow.

That's not what I meant. Have you actually read him? asks Belle.

Selected quotes, admits David.