He Has Never Sat In A Beanbag

Yes, it's me, replies Ageless. Where are you?

Tasmania, says Du Fresne. Where are you?

Adelaide, says Ageless. Let me run something by you.

Fire away, says Du Fresne.

Canoe, says Ageless. Ring a bell?

What is this? asks Du Fresne. The inquisition?

Guilty conscience? asks Ageless. 

Pas du tout! says Du Fresne.

Let me come at this from another angle, says Ageless.

Yes, do that, says Du Fresne.

I've been asked to portray you in a video, says Ageless. 

Doing what? asks Du Fresne.

That's the thing, says Ageless. They want me to sit in a beanbag.

I have never sat in a beanbag, says Du Fresne.

Doubtless, says Ageless. You've had no call to. They can be quite comfy.

What's this about? asks Du Fresne.

The beanbag is only because there are no canoes in the library, says Ageless. I, in a beanbag posing as you, in a canoe, will be photoshopped into the video. What I want to know first is, will you be happy?

No, says Du Fresne. I will not. The canoe incident was not my finest moment.

What was? asks Ageless. 

Finding the first Tzeet, says Du Fresne. As I was asked to do. How was I to know the second Tzeet would go missing?

So you organized a search party, says Ageless. It's more than I would have done.

It was more than I would have done, had I not been overtaken by an acquisitive quoll, says Du Fresne. It was all downhill from there.

I see, says Ageless. You had been slipping away quietly.

With good reason, says Du Fresne. I was beginning to feel I was moulting.

Shit-a-brick! says Ageless. So you stole a canoe. I get it. And what were you wearing?

My red knitted hat, says Du Fresne.

Perfect, says Ageless. Don't worry old chum. I'll pile on the pathos.

I don't know if..... begins Du Fresne. Then he thinks Blow it! 

What does he care if he, represented by Ageless, is photoshopped into a video, in a beanbag?

Don't things like this happen all the time?.