Better With Talking

Time for the show to begin.

Vello comes on stage, in his bike shorts.

Greetings friends! says Vello. It's good to see so many people. How many of you have been to our productions before?

The friends of Hedley's mother put their hands up.

This time we are trying something different, says Vello. The excerpt was chosen at random by a friend of ours, Iris Murdoch. 

All the friends of Hedley's mother turn to look at Iris Murdoch, who is seated behind them, in row three.

Iris looks annoyed.

If you know Candide in the original, do not be surprised if there are elisions and alterations, says Vello. Most of my satirical observations have been left out. We have introduced a hammock. And there are puppets. That's about all I have to say, except...enjoy!

He withdraws, to polite clapping, followed by silence.

Katherine walks on in her black hooded costume, holding a placard.

"Scene 1. The card game."

Candide, Martin, the abbé, and Belle stand around a small table.

They mime a card game, with several extra players, who are cheating. 

Candide loses a number of diamonds, due to a strange lack of aces.

The scene ends.

There was no talking, says someone in the audience.

I know, says another. It's better with talking. You know what's going on.

It was a card game, says one of Hedley's mother's friends.

Were we meant to think everyone was cheating? asks a another person. 

Ask Iris Murdoch, suggests one of Hedley's mother's friends.

Iris is now resigned to being known as the expert on the difficult excerpt.

Yes, says Iris Murdoch. Candide has been fleeced. Did you notice how he never held any aces?

Oh yeah! says the first person. Was that on purpose?

Everything that happens is on purpose, says Iris Murdoch. And you'll be glad to know there will be some dialogue in scene two.

The audience settles back in their seats. 

Good. Dialogue.