No one has any diamonds. Not even Katherine.
Craft shop, says Belle. I'll pop out later.
The rehearsal is over.
Tomorrow is opening night, says Vello. Be early at the venue.
Are we in the Piglet? asks Hedley's mother.
We are, says Belle.
How are ticket sales going? asks Hedley's mother.
Vello is about to answer when Sweezus and Arthur come in.
This is a surprise! says Vello.
You said two days tops, says Sweezus. So here we are. Need anything doing?
We need diamonds, says Vello.
Fake ones from the craft shop, says Belle.
No worries, says Sweezus. How many?
A good handful, says Vello.
I'll get them, says Arthur.
He goes out. Iris follows him.
Arthur, says Iris. What do you think of me playing Candide?
Why are you asking? asks Arthur.
Because I am playing Candide, says Iris. But now Sweezus is back, who would you think would be better?
Him, says Arthur.
I hoped you'd say that, says Iris, because this play is a fuck-up.
It usually is, says Arthur. But people like it.
Not this production, says Iris. We do the seduction scene in a hammock.
Ow! says Arthur.
With Katherine in a black hooded costume behind us to help us get in, adds Iris.
No kidding, says Arthur. He pictures the scene.
And then Hedley's mother gets into the black hooded costume so she can make Kobo act like a nurse, says Iris.
How does that work? asks Arthur.
She holds Kobo up in one hand and works the bed curtain with the other, says Iris.
Merde! says Arthur.
Is is, says Iris. And I'd be quite happy to give my part to Sweezus.
I bet, says Arthur.
They arrive at the craft shop, where, inexplicably, there is a queue.
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