It Creaks

 Katherine returns to the stage, in her black hooded costume.

She holds up a placard.

"Scene 2. The seduction"

Is this okay for children? calls out one of the friends of Hedley's mother.

Katherine does not answer.

Yes! hisses Iris Murdoch.

But, a seduction? says the friend of Hedley's mother. You can understand why I'm asking.

It's quite appropriate for children, says Iris. 

Shush! says another audience member.

Katherine withdraws, to reveal Belle sitting sideways in a hammock.

Candide enters.

Are you still devoted to the lady Cunégonde? asks Belle.

Yes madam, says Candide.

You answer like a Westphalian bumpkin, says Belle. A Frenchman would have said 'It is true I once loved her, but after seeing you I love her no more".

Very well madam, says Candide. Let that be my answer.

Belle lifts her skirt, revealing a white plaited garter. She wriggles it off, and drops it.

Would you be so good as to pick up my garter? asks Belle.

What did she do that for? asks a little girl in the audience.

Ladies used to do that, says her mother.

Candide picks up the garter.

I shall be glad if you will replace it for me, says Belle.

Candide replaces the garter.

That doesn't make sense! says the little girl.

I know, says her mother. And we don't do it nowadays.

Now what are they doing? asks the little girl.

Katherine is behind the hammock, in her black costume, holding it steady.

Belle swings her legs up. Candide climbs into the hammock beside her.

It creaks.

The lights dim.

All the audience can see is the back of Candide.

He appears to be moving his arm in a rhythmical manner..

He suddenly flips something into the air. Olé! It's the garter!

Ooh! cries Belle. Candide! What's that I can feel in your pocket!

Diamonds, says Candide. Would you like me to give you one......?

And thus ends scene two, to the relief of all, including the little girl's mother.