The Shroud of Turin

Jesus woke up on Good Friday. Something was stuck to his face. He pulled it off. It was the sheet that he'd wrapped himself up in to try and keep warm during the night.

Ugh, he said, disentangling himself. It's covered in chocolate. He held it up for Marie and Belle et Bonne to see.

Belle et Bonne and Marie doubled up with laughter.

What's so funny, asked Jesus?

It looks like the shroud of Turin, said Marie. There's your face on the cloth, and two big brown handprints. That'll teach you to eat chocolate in bed.

Never mind that now, said Jesus. How am I going to get it off?

Wash it in the sea, said Belle et Bonne.

So they waited while Jesus went down to the sea and washed his sheet in the cold salty water.

Belle et Bonne looked at Marie.

Jesus! she said.

Mmm, said Marie. This isn't his day.

Jesus came back with his wet sheet dripping.

Now how am I going to get it dry? he asked grumpily.

I suppose you'll have to drape it over a bush and hope the sun comes out, said Marie.
What a way to spend the morning!

I'll just leave it here, said Jesus. I wouldn't want to hold everyone up. I'll pick it up on the way back.

So they headed off down the coast road, looking for somewhere to have breakfast.

As they rode three abreast, an interesting literary conversation developed.

Jesus' Diary - Part 5

What did you think of Jesus' diary? I asked Pliny the Elder, when Jesus had left the room.

I think he was wrong about the Crested Terns, said Pliny. I think they were Hooded Gulls.

Yes, but he's new at it, I said. And how about that story of the swimming girl ?

I found it quite alarming, said Pliny. But I suppose someone who is always nice on the surface has to be hiding dark thoughts.

That's unkind, Pliny, I said. Hey! Look . He's left his diary open on the table. Shall we see what he wrote this morning?

That would be wrong, said Pliny. But he shouldn't have left it open. And he did show us what he wrote yesterday.....

We looked at Jesus' second diary entry. Pliny began to read it aloud:

Easter Sunday. Picnic with my friends in the Botanic Park. There were two kinds of lemonade, one was called Lift. I like Lift............. ( here Pliny appeared to be choking )

Pliny! I said sharply. Stop laughing. And use a sensible vioce.

Alright, sorry, said Pliny. And he continued reading:

We all watched a television show last night about the Shroud of Turin. Very interesting. Nobody knows how the face got onto the cloth. My friends said it looked a bit like me. Couldn't see it myself. Nevertheless very intriguing. Well, time for me to go now. You have all been very kind. I'm leaving you the diary, read it in memory of me.......... By the Gods! spluttered Pliny. He knew!