Easter Sunday Revelations

As we are lagging behind in real time we shall not bother about the literary conversation our cycling friends had on Good Friday. Instead, we shall fast forward to another literary conversation which developed the following day.

No, let us leave that one as well, and catch up with them today, when a third interesting literary conversation develops.

It is now Easter Sunday, and the cycling holiday is going well. The weather has fined up, and the coast road is rolling alond beside the coast in an exemplary manner. Belle et Bonne, Marie and Jesus are riding side by side, happily but illegally. They are talking about Kobo and Baby Pierre.

Do you remember, asked Marie, the name of that novel that Kobo was reading? The one that Baby Pierre used in his example of how it was best not to know the future?

Yes, said Jesus. It was The Earth by Emile Zola. I meant to get it from the library. I wanted to find out what happened to poor Francoise.

Me too, said Marie. I just wondered if you'd read it.

I have! said Belle et Bonne. I love Zola. But I wouldn't recommend that YOU read it, she added, looking at Jesus. There's someone in it you might not like.

Me? said Jesus, surprised. Why not?

Well, said Belle et Bonne, there's a character in it called Jesus Christ, but he's not meant to be you.

That wouldn't bother me, said Jesus. What's he like?

He's a lazy reprobate and a thief, said Belle et Bonne, and worst of all....oh no, I don't want to tell you.

What? said Marie. You have to tell us now!

Yes, you have to, said Jesus.

Alright, said Belle et Bonne. You asked for it. He farts all the time, on purpose, and for fun, to amuse his friends and his daughter.

Marie and Jesus were silent for a moment, digesting this.

The Shroud of Turin

Jesus woke up on Good Friday. Something was stuck to his face. He pulled it off. It was the sheet that he'd wrapped himself up in to try and keep warm during the night.

Ugh, he said, disentangling himself. It's covered in chocolate. He held it up for Marie and Belle et Bonne to see.

Belle et Bonne and Marie doubled up with laughter.

What's so funny, asked Jesus?

It looks like the shroud of Turin, said Marie. There's your face on the cloth, and two big brown handprints. That'll teach you to eat chocolate in bed.

Never mind that now, said Jesus. How am I going to get it off?

Wash it in the sea, said Belle et Bonne.

So they waited while Jesus went down to the sea and washed his sheet in the cold salty water.

Belle et Bonne looked at Marie.

Jesus! she said.

Mmm, said Marie. This isn't his day.

Jesus came back with his wet sheet dripping.

Now how am I going to get it dry? he asked grumpily.

I suppose you'll have to drape it over a bush and hope the sun comes out, said Marie.
What a way to spend the morning!

I'll just leave it here, said Jesus. I wouldn't want to hold everyone up. I'll pick it up on the way back.

So they headed off down the coast road, looking for somewhere to have breakfast.

As they rode three abreast, an interesting literary conversation developed.

Good Friday

You've brought far too much chocolate, said Marie. And I don't see a sleeping bag. What are you going to do if we decide to camp out?

Don't worry about me, said Jesus. I've got this sheet.

And he pulled a grubby white sheet from the bottom of his pack.

That won't keep you very warm, said Marie.

Never mind, said Jesus. Have a chocolate.

No thanks. said Marie. No chocolate till Sunday.

What? said Jesus.

Don't you know the rule? aked Belle et Bonne.

No, this is the first I've heard of it, said Jesus.

I thought you of all people would know that rule, said Belle et Bonne. You surprise me. You don't seem very religious.

Religious! Why should I be religious? scoffed Jesus.

Yes Belle, said Marie. Jesus doesn't need to be religious. And neither are we religious, she added.

Then you ought to have a chocolate, said Jesus.

No thanks, said Marie. There are other reasons not to eat chocolate.

They cycled all afternoon along the coast road beside the wind-tossed sea. They bought pizzas for dinner and ate them under a pine tree.

Let's sleep under this tree tonight, said Belle et Bonne. It doesn't look like it'll rain.

Alright, said Marie, and Jesus agreed.

They lay side by side looking up at the clouds and the stars through the pine branches, Jesus in the middle because he was cold.

Jesus got out his Blackberry. The clouds look like blue white and black chrysanthemums, he said.

Are you tweeting that? asked Belle et Bonne.

Yes, replied Jesus.

It's nice, said Marie. Goodnight.

Goodnight, said Jesus, pulling out another block of chocolate.

To keep me warm, he said.

Sure, said Belle et Bonne. Goodnight Jesus. Sleep well. Good Friday tomorrow.

See if I care, said Jesus.

Jesus' Diary - Part 2

We're going out for the day, I said to Pliny the Elder. You and Jesus will have to get your own lunch.

What can we have? asked Pliny.

Tomato sandwiches, I said. I'm afraid that's all there is. It's Good Friday and the shops are all closed.

I hate tomatoes, said Pliny sulkily.

I like them, piped up Jesus. And I know a way to make them taste especially nice. I see you have some basil out the back. May I use a bit?

You could learn a lesson from Jesus, I said to Pliny.

Pliny gave me a black look.

Late in the afternoon we arrived home to be greeted by the delicious scent of hot cross buns.

Oh, I said. Have you two been eating the hot cross buns?

Weren't we supposed to? asked Pliny.

No, it's fine. But what did Jesus think of his hot cross bun?

Very nice indeed! said Jesus. Better than the one I had last year. It was one of those choc chip ones. They just don't taste right without sultanas.

Yes, I said. I agree. And did you know that this year there is a new variety of hot cross bun, called mocha?

Mocker? said Jesus, looking shocked.