Dangerous

The red knitted hat that Ageless produced was smaller than Baby Pierre had imagined, and full of holes.

It has a lot of holes in it, he said, trying to sound non-judgemental.

It has, agreed Ageless. I don't find knitting easy you know. I keep dropping stitches. But look on the bright side. You and your friend will be able to breathe.

Do you think we'll fit under it? asked Frog.

You don't know much about knitting, said Ageless. It stretches and stretches.

But the holes will get bigger too, said Baby Pierre. And then we'll fall out.

Dropped stitches don't work like that, said Ageless patiently. They go into ladders, like stockings.

Ladders, said Frog. That sounds safe enough. I'm happy to get in.

You don't need to get in just yet, said Ageless. The Royal Institution is right across town. And we're running late, so let's get a move on.

They set off, across North Terrace and through Gawler Place to Rundle Mall.

Are we there yet? said Frog.

Half way, replied Ageless. Would you like me to carry you?

He waved a large pincer at Frog.

No thankyou, said Frog. I can manage.

What's Synthetic Biology? asked Baby Pierre.

It's something scientists do, said Ageless. I'm against it myself.

But what is it? asked Baby Pierre.

Dangerous, said Ageless. But you two are younger than me. You may be all for it.

I'm not really younger than you, said Baby Pierre. You forget I'm a stone. Frog is certainly younger.

Then I may be all for it, said Frog. When I know what it is.

The Art of Waiting - 2

My mum has just gone into the surgery, so I have all the time in the world to gaze at the reflection of the window in the framed print of the hollyhocks.

Why do I like it so much? I'll tell you. Everything framed within the window is of pleasing and regular proportions. There is, at the bottom, a section of metal grid, formed in regular squares. Above it, the triangular curve of a sailcloth over the path outside. Behind the sailcloth are several branches, bare except for four leaves outlined against the clear blue sky. Higher still, four electrical wires are strung musically from left to right, and a fat little Dusky Seaside Sparrow sits on the topmost one.

In addition, there is a paper sticker in the lower left corner of the window, and the sticker says NO CASH. The sticker is on the outside of the window, to deter potential thieves, as if the metal grid would not be enough. If I were looking directly at the window, the letters of the words NO CASH would be reversed. But because I am looking at a reflection of the window in the glass, the letters are reversed twice, and so NO CASH appears the right way round.

At first I do not realise this is interesting. But suddenly I realise that it is, because it is an example of that branch of science known as optics.

I've been sketching this, remember? I haven't even drawn the wires and sparrow when my mum appears. That was quick, she says. I didn't even need to have any stitches.

Momentarily, I wish that it had taken longer.

Resolution

A paradox! I said, derisively. The spleen can't make you laugh!

It can, said Pliny. You say you know your Shakespeare. In Twelfth Night, Maria says " If you desire the spleen, and would laugh yourself into stitches, follow me." Here is evidence that Shakespeare himself thought laughter was governed by the spleen.

Pliny! Have you been reading Shakespeare? Good for you!

Not exactly. I have been googling Shakespeare. It saves a deal of time.

You miss a lot that way, I remarked.

Indeed, said Pliny, there is far too much to read these days. But tell me, are you convinced?

Hmmm. Perhaps. It may explain something that happened yesterday. I met my mum in town.
We walked out of David Jones into the bright sunlight on North Terrace. She asked me how my hair had turned out. She knew I'd just put a new colour in it. No different, I said, although it's supposed to be 3 toned. She looked hard at my head. I can't see any chestnut, she remarked.
But it looks a little blue.

Does this have anything to do with the spleen? asked Pliny, looking lost.

It may. I felt mightily ill-humoured, but I laughed a silly laugh.