Solitude Versus Not-Cousin

And where is Baby Pierre? 

He has left Paris behind. 

He has walked down country lanes and stopped often.

He has met other pebbles.

Most of the pebbles are happy to stay where they are.

But one pebble, who reminds Baby Pierre of his cousin Ouvert, has joined him.

Just as far as the Parc Naturel du Vexin, says the pebble, who isn't his cousin Ouvert.

I welcome the company, says Baby Pierre. Solitude is a fine thing, but one's own thoughts can be self serving.

You are wise, says Not-Cousin-Ouvert.

I am an atheist and free thinker, says Baby Pierre proudly.

Not-Cousin-Ouvert thinks that this is a contradiction, but does not say so.

Where are you headed eventually? asks Not-Cousin-Ouvert.

The seaside, says Baby Pierre.

It is a long way to the seaside, says Not-Cousin-Ouvert.

I seek to meet with a lobster, says Baby Pierre.

Any lobster? asks Not-Cousin-Ouvert.

One who knows Ageless, says Baby Pierre. My mentor.

Ageless lobster, says Not-Cousin-Ouvert. What for?

It's a long story, says Baby Pierre.

Tell it, says Not-Cousin-Ouvert.

Baby Pierre is happy to tell it. The real cousin Ouvert would not have asked.  

It was the final stage of the Tour de France, says Baby Pierre. I was speeding back and forth, as I do. When suddenly, Bang! A motor bike hit me. As I lay on the ground, my bicycle in pieces, I was struck by the thought: I don't have to accept this. I got up, and walked.

Did it occur to you that you may have been concussed? asks Not-Cousin-Overt.

Whoever heard of a pebble being concussed? says Baby Pierre. Besides, have you seen this?

He tips his head forward. Not-Cousin-Ouvert sees the Mark of the Claw.

Is that a bruise, or a tulip? asks Not-Cousin-Ouvert,.

It is now Baby Pierre starts to see a certain similarity.

Not regarding the tulip. Of course not.

But to Cousin Ouvert

I Could Post Him

What else did Gaius have to say for himself? asks David.

He was too busy looking for gobies to watch the Tour, says Katherine.

In other words, he's offended, says David.

Who is this Gaius? asks N F S Grundtvig.

A natural historian, says Vello. And a good domestique. But no philosopher.

He's as good a philosopher as you, says Katherine. And more practical. 

Thank you Katherine, says Vello. 

Have I usurped him? asks N F S Grundtvig? I had no idea.

Never mind, says David. We'll include him next year.

Roo-kai hops into the café.

Look! says Terence. We got the frogs back. Quiet-tartus exploded!

I nearly exploded, says Quiet-tartus. Instead I expelled the toadstone.

I know about that, says Roo-kai. 

Sit down, says David. Have a madeleine.

I don't normally eat madeleines, says Roo-kai. Do they serve molluscs?

I'll ask, says David.

He goes to the counter to ask.

I can't stay long, says Roo-kai.

Why not? asks Terence. 

I must find Baby Pierre, says Roo-kai. After what happened to the frog team, I fear for his safety.

Last seen where? asks Vello.

Walking down a country lane, says Roo-kai.

In which direction? asks Vello. 

North-west, says Roo-kai.

He'll be heading for the coast, says Katherine. 

Let's find him! says Terence. 

He'll be fine, says Quiet-tartus.

Fine, says the knowlesi. 

He doesn't have a bicycle, says Terence. 

That means he'll be travelling slowly, says Vello.

David comes back with half a dozen oysters.

Roo-kai gulps them down.

Thanks. Now I'm off to find Baby Pierre, says Roo-kai

Then what? asks Katherine. How will you post him back to Australia?

I'll bring him to you, says Roo-kai. You can  take him home in your luggage.

I'm leaving tomorrow, says Katherine.

So are we, says David.

I could post him, says N F S Grundtvig. 

Yay! says Terence. Can you post me as well?

I'm not leaving you behind, says Katherine.

Belle's here, says Terence. Doing the girls' race.

So she is! says Vello. This solves everything!

Maybe it does. 

The Far Reaching Squeeze

Squeeze him! cries Terence.

Quiet-tartus is looking distressed

What did Gaius say? asks Vello.

Squeeze him, says Katherine. It won't make him wise. It seems the story is mythical.

That was obvious, says Vello.

Guk-guk, says Quiet-tartus.

I'll squeeze you, says Terence.

No! says Katherine. 

I'm doing it, says Terence.

He presses down on Quiet-tartus's swollen stomach.

The toadstone pops out of Quiet-tartus's mouth with a thwop!

And coninues travelling, due to momentum.

Crash! It hits the windscreen of the taxi.

Merde! cries the taxi driver. Throwing stones in a taxi is forbidden!

Apologies, says Vello. Fortunately your windscreen is not broken. 

I could have been hit in the back of the neck, says the taxi driver. 

You could have died, says Sirene.

Exactement, says the taxi driver.

But the little crapaud would have died if Terence had not squeezed him, says Sirene.

The taxi driver scowls at Sirene in his rear vision mirror.

Who is she to compare his welfare with that of a frog?

We're nearly at our destination, says Katherine. Let us out here, if you like.

I do like, says the taxi driver. And it will cost extra.

It will not, says Vello.

The taxi stops. They get out. Vello pays the regular fare and no extra. They walk to the café where N F S and David are waiting. Terence is holding the frogs.

All is well, I see, says David. 

You don't know the half of it, says Vello. The frogs were being held in a cruel hospital, and no sooner had we assisted them to escape than this one here swallowed a toadstone thinking it would benefit him in some way but it caused him to swell alarmingly, so Katherine called Gaius...

....who was asleep, says Katherine. And Gaius suggested we squeeze him, after admitting that it was partly his fault.

How so? asks David.

He wrote about the power of the toadstone years ago, says Katherine, but he has since revised his opinion.

Better out than in, says N F S.

So we thought, says Vello, but Terence performed the squeezng operation, and nearly broke the windscreen of the taxi. We had to get out and walk the last few hundred metres.

Dear me, says David. You have had a time. 

Down You Up You

Etoile releases the frogs.

They hop out of bed.

Au revoir, visiteurs, says Etoile's mother.

She opens the front door, and lets everyone out.

Vello calls for a taxi.

One comes. They get in.

Well! says Katherine. What sort of hospital do you suppose that was?

A pretend one, says Quiet-tartus. 

Why were you strapped in? asks Vello.

We ate the other patients, says the knowlesi.

Aha! It all makes sense now.

Give them their present, says Sirene. It will make them forget their cruel treatment.

Here, says Terence.

Quiet-tartus takes the paper bag. 

He takes out a shiny dark toadstone. 

Here goes! says Quiet-tartus. He swallows the toadstone.

Gluurp!

Croakey! says the knowlesi. Why'd you do that?

It's what you're meant to do, says Quiet-tartus. It remains in your head, as a source of wisdom.

No way! says the knowlesi.

Are you sure of that? asks Katherine. It's more likely to sink to your stomach.

And lower, says Vello. Then you'll be in strife.

No, says Sirene. The jewel sits in the head of the toad as an antidote to poison.

But he isn't a toad, says Vello. And he wasn't born with it.

How else was I going to get it down me? asks Quiet-tartus.

Up you, says Terence.

This remark is unhelpful.

I know! says Katherine. I'll call Gaius.

She calls Gaius.

Gaius's phone rings. It's a long time before he answers.

Hello? says Gaius. Katherine?

What time is it there? asks Katherine.

Ten thirty, says Gaius. I was in bed.

Sorry, dear, says Katherine. We just have a quick question. What do you know about toadstones?

Toadstones? says Gaius. Now?

Yes now, says Katherine. Quiet-tartus has swallowed one.

Squeeze his belly, says Gaius. It may just pop out.

But he swallowed it on purpose as a source of wisdom and an antidote to poison, says Katherine. He thinks it will remain in his head.

It won't, says Gaius. Get it out of him. And tell him I'm sorry. This is partly my fault.

Why? asks Katherine.

I wrote of the toadstone, long ago, says Gaius. When scientific knowledge was sparse. We now know that its power is mythical.

Thanks Gaius, says Katherine.

How did Team Philosophe do? asks Gaius. 

Didn't you watch it? asks Katherine.

No, too busy looking for gobies, says Gaius. 

They did the best they could do, at their age, says Katherine.

Nice to  know, says Gaius. Well, if there's nothing else.....

Nothing else, says Katherine. Goodbye, Gaius.

The call ends

Gaius says........begins Katherine.

But it may be too late. 

Quiet-tartus is swelling.

They've Come For The Crapauds

They arrive at the address in Neuilly.

It looks not like a hospital, but a house.

On the front door is a cardboard sign, suspended by string, looped around a brass tack.

The sign reads: "Hopital pour animaux sauvages blessés".

This must be it, says Katherine.

This IS it, says Roo-kai.

Vello knocks on the door. A child opens.

Bonjour, says the child. Mais ce n'est pas the temps pour une visite.

Hello, says Sirene. We have come a long way for our froggies. Please don't send us away.

Froggies? says the child.

Crapauds, says Vello.

O, says the child, those rude crapauds. Will you take them away?

If they are better, says Katherine.

They are perfectly well, says the child. Come in and get them.

They follow her into a small room, set up like a ward.

There are rows of small cardboard box beds, with tissue paper covers.

In two of the boxes, side by side, lie Team Romeo-Knowlesi.

At last! cries Quiet-tartus.  

I've brought you a present, says Terence.

Are they your crapauds? asks the girl.

Yes, says Terence. They are my cycling team. They had a crash in the Tour de France. Didn't they tell you?

I did not believe them, says the girl. 

Terence pulls four little green wheels from his pockets.

Is that our present? asks the knowlesi.

No, says Terence. This is.

He opens the paper bag.

Will they recognise toadstones?

Haroo! cries Quiet-tartus. Toadstones!

What are they? asks the knowlesi.

They are magical stones, says Sirene. They are jewels, found inside the heads of toads.

Tosh! says Vello. They are undoubtedly fossils.

I knew that, says Quiet-tartus.

Which? asks the knowlesi.

Quiet-tartus has no time to answer.

A woman has come in.

Etoile! says the mother, who are these people?

They've come for the crapauds, says Etoile.

Bien, says the mother. Bonjour, nos visiteurs, but it is not time for a visit.

We are sorry, says Katherine. We'll take the frogs now, if they're better.

Alors, says the mother. Etoile take them out of their beds.

Yay! says Terence. 

It is only now that it becomes apparent the frogs are strapped in.

Where Is The Spirituality?

Katherine and Sirene return, empty-handed.

What's in the paper bag? asks Katherine.

Presents for the frog team, says Terence.

Where did you get them? asks Katherine.

SHE gave them to me, says Terence, pointing towards the assistant.

But the assistant has spotted a customer, and hurried away.

Very kind of her, says Katherine. What's in it?

Stones, says Terence. Or chocolates. 

Why do you say it like that? asks Sirene.

They look the same, says Terence.

Let me see, says Sirene.

Terence opens the bag at the top. She looks into it.

Ooh! Those are toadstones.

Surely not, says Katherine. Where would the assistant have got them?

Upstairs, says Terence. 

Well they won't be real ones, says Katherine.

They look like real ones, says Sirene. 

Katherine wonders how Sirene, a mermaid, would know.

Let's go to the hospital right now, says Terence.

We don't know where it is, says Katherine.

Roo-kai knows, says Terence.

But where is he? asks Katherine.

He might be outside, says Terence.

And he is.

It's not far, says Roo-kai. You can take the metro. Or catch a bus if you like. I'll meet you in Neuilly.

Very well, says Katherine. I suppose we'll need some sort of card.

Bumhole! says Terence. Can't we just walk there? My frogs might be dying.

No, says Katherine. I know! Sirene and I will borrow the Team Philosophe bicycles.

What fun! says Sirene. My first chance to use my legs properly.

What about me? asks Terence.

We'll work something out, says Katherine.

They return to the cafe, where Team Philosophe are still eating cakes.

May we borrow your bicycles, to go to the hospital? asks Katherine. 

Then how will we get about? asks Vello.

Taxi, says Katherine. 

Let's all go by taxi, says Vello. 

You go, says David. N F S and I will remain here and continue our debate.

A ridiculous debate, says Vello.

What is it about ? asks Katherine.

Are enlightenment ideas out of date? says Vello.

Not out of date, says N F S. Too rationalistic. Where is the spirituality?

You see what I'm up against, says David.

They leave them to it, and call a taxi.

Roo-kai gives the taxi driver directions. The taxi driver is not surprised to be given directions by an oystercatcher posing as a parrot.

This is Paris.

A Tiny Hospital

So he just vanished? says Vello.

Yes, says Roo-kai. Although I'm sure he'll be somewhere.

They are speaking of Baby Pierre.

(Baby Pierre, at this moment is walking down a French country lane. So Roo-kai is right. He is somewhere).

It was his fault, says Terence. 

What was? asks Katherine.

My frog team lost their good bike, says Terence.

It was Baby Pierre's bike, says David.

This is not helping anyone, says Sirene. You should go to visit your froggies.

YES! says Terence. We should visit them and bring them some presents.

Where are they? asks Katherine.

Neuilly, says Roo-kai. A tiny hospital. The only place I could find that would take injured wildlife.

Let's go, says Terence.

What about the presents? asks Katherine. Shall we go shopping?

Yes, says Terence.

I'll come too, says Sirene.

Too late Terence realises he is going shopping in Paris with two ladies.

See you men later, says Katherine.

Vello, David and N F S Grundtvig order their second espressos, and think about cake.

Katherine, Sirene and Terence walk down a Parisian boulevarde, lined with shops.

Let's go in here, says Sirene.

It's a shop selling clothing for ladies.

O yes! says Katherine. Theres a sale on.

FROGS! says Terence, as a hint that they have forgotten what they came for.

Soon, says Katherine. Look around the shop if you like, you might get some ideas.

Terence looks around.

But he gets no ideas. He sits down on the corner of a model stand.

Levez! Levez! says an assistant. N'asseyez là!

Terence looks blank. What is she saying?

Is there anything in this shop for frogs? asks Terence.

Frogs! cries the assistant, This is a boutique in Paris! There is nothing for frogs!

Good. She speaks English.

They're in hospital, says Terence. I don't even know what to buy them.

The attendant is softened. The poor infant. And where is his mother?

What has happened to your frogs? asks the assistant.

They crashed, says Terence. 

Desolé! says the assistant. Come with me. No, wait here. 

Terence waits, while the assistant goes off to another floor, and gathers some things frogs might like.

She comes back with a small paper bag.

Here, says the assistant. Give these to your frogs, and wish them a fast recovery.

Thanks, says Terence.

He waits, standing up, near the model stand, for Katherine and Sirene to come back.