Stage One: Nuriootpa to Angaston

Monday is a rest day. Several things become clear.

You see, Gaius, says Rosamunda, Lu Ban's riding so fast no one sees him. He actually won yesterday.

Are you certain? says Gaius. I was watching, with Olive Python, and neither she nor I saw him come first.

The thing is, says Rosamunda, he did fifty two laps, to everyone else's fifty.

More fool him, says Gaius.

Come on Gaius, says Rosamunda. If you would only relent.

If he would, says Gaius.

Lu Ban enters.

Gaius, says Lu Ban. You see my predicament.

I do. says Gaius. Your bike is too good to be true.

My dad says, says Janice, if something's too good to be true, then it probably isn't.

Not in this case, says Gaius. And not, if I remember correctly, in the case of the squids yesterday.

Ooh yes! says Janice. Arthur was brilliant! He bought these boxes of squids. Then he said we could sell them as cuttlies and no one would notice. And nobody did.

Arthur is a wonder, says Gaius. I regret having lost him to my rivals. I blame myself, partly.

It wasn't your fault, says Rosamunda.

It was mine, sighs Lu Ban. Let no one say I am not open to self criticism.

Is that so? says Gaius. What about criticism from others?

No one likes that, says Lu Ban.

I suppose I could rally around, says Gaius. The truth is, I'm not used to being a spectator.

Wonderful, says Lu Ban. Tomorrow, you must lead me out. And not too quickly.

Hurrah! says Janice. Gaius will do it!

Slow him down? says Gaius. I'll say so!

..........

Another thing that becomes clear on Monday: Richie Porte is nothing less than a genius.

Sweezus: Look at this, Arthur!

Arthur ( speed reading ): Hmm, mmm.

Sweezus: What do you reckon?

Arthur: He's a genius.

Sweezus: Yeah. That's what I thought.

..........

And now it is Tuesday. Time for Stage One: Nuriootpa to Angaston.

The teams assemble. Bang! Off they go.

They ride through the beautiful Barossa, past vineyards and trees.

Gaius leads out Lu Ban, momentarily.

Woosh! Lu Ban loses control of his Dragon and shoots out in front. No one even sees him.

........

Vello is riding beside David, not trying too hard.

Ah, what beautiful scenery, says Vello.

Indeed, says David. Rows and rows of beautiful vines.

That reminds me, says Vello. Sweezus tells me  Richie Porte is a literary genius.

You don't say so? says David. Would Sweezus be able to tell?

Arthur backs him up, says Vello.

Hee hee, says David. He would though.

No, but really, says Vello. Arthur says Richie has come on so far he's outdone Calvino and Kafka and Proust.

My, my, says David. I must have a squizz at this masterpiece.

You shall when we finish, says Vello. First we must climb this intolerable what's-it-called, Mengler's Hill.

Pfffff, says David. Heave ho, then. Woo! Who was that just flew by?

Didn't see anyone, says Vello.

Neither do Andre Greipel, or Simon Gerrans, who pass them next, at a credible speed.