The Great Leap Forward - Improvements

Sunday morning. A meeting of Team Everlasting Dragons is in progress, in Gaius's kitchen.

It's not fair, says Janice. I was going to be the little demon rider.

And that's not the only thing, says Gaius.

I suppose you mean the contract, says Rosamunda.

Indeed, says Gaius. I come back from the Pilbara, my head buzzing with thoughts about the ingenuity of the Western Pebble-mound Mouse. I arrive late at the Team Presentation, believing I am still team captain of Team Provenance, only to discover......

The great improvements, says Lu Ban.

I fail to see them as improvements, says Gaius. You kidnapped a python, which almost asphyxiated the Premier.

Establishing my power, says Lu Ban.

You changed the Team Name and declared yourself captain, continues Gaius. Without a contract!

I have a contract, says Lu Ban. You yourself have signed it.

Let me see, says Gaius.

Rosamunda produces the contract.

Well, well, says Gaius. I do not remember..... but anyway it's only signed in pencil. Find me a rubber, Rosamunda.

Arthur was going to go over it in pen, says Janice. But we couldn't find one.

Arthur is reliable and loyal, says Gaius. He would not have gone over it in pen, should you have found one.

He WOULD, says Janice. If we'd found one.

And that brings me to the most heinous of your so-called improvements, says Gaius, scowling at Lu Ban. You have alienated Arthur to the extent that he has joined another team.

Boo, says Janice. I should join that team.....

And finally, says Gaius. You have got everyone off side by strutting arrogantly about the town in a yellow jersey.

To which I am entitled, says Lu Ban. To whit, the contract.

You know of course, says Gaius, that in Adelaide the winner's jersey is not a yellow one, but is a culturally appropriate shade of ochre.

Ochre! roars Lu Ban.

What's wrong with ochre? says Olive Python, looking up from her plate of struggling fruit bats, helpfully sourced for her by Cadel Evans, who loves animals.

This breaks the tension somewhat. Everyone laughs, some more than others. Rosamunda puts on the kettle for a cup of Po Li tea.

After the tea, civility is restored.